Aynjell's journal

I am finally done with my first quarter at Metro Community College. To be honest, I am surprised that I completed all of the work that I was assigned, what with all of the procastination on my part. This is really bad but, at any given time I was behind at least two chapters in my heaviest course, Programming Logic and Design. I was required to study two chapters a week and write somewhere in the range of 5 - 15 psuedo-programs, all corresponding to the newly learned logic, so in short a whole lot of new things that I have very little time to learn and apply.
If you have ever done monotonous work, I am jealous of you. That is how repetitive this course was, and at that, the work was fairly difficult, even though I accelled in that class's work, I am still glad that I am finally done with it.
The worst part about it, I have to start another quarter in two weeks. I think I am going to cry, both out of joy and fear. I can't wait to start some courses that will teach me real code, yet at the same time I am wondering If I can handle the work load of advanced curriculum. I guess I will find out soon.

I am going to start a story so that I might develop the world and the type of characters that will run rampant in my first game, so here goes:
This is excerpt One, Entitled "The city of Terra..."
====================*ETERNITY=IN=A=DAY*=========================
The streets were alive and full of commotion, swelling with nightlife. Neon signs were lit up everywhere advertising the stores they hung over, glowing against the gentle fog that hung over the ground. The city was in a variable orgy around him and the energy that the city radiated was intoxicating; it would seduce anyone into itself that spent half a night there.
Io stood at a traffic-point, waiting to cross the road. The loud whine of a pod-car's engine screamed at the other end of the traffic-point, accompanied by another that roared to life shortly after.
At the chime of the traffic-point's 'proceed' signal, the two pod-cars exploded into a furiously loud scream of power and speed, ripping by Io with such tremendous velocity that he was pushed back and then pulled forward in the wake the cars left behind. after steadying himself, he looked over to see the pod-car's dissapear into the distance, and to try to decide who had won the race.
"I bet the guy in the Morial-5 tore that other guy apart..."
Io mused. He scanned his surroundings, paying close attention to the data displayed on the screen of the HIU that he wore on his left ear. It told him that the two cars were at 500 KPH five seconds after they took off and that the temperature of the surrounding are was an average of 36.6 degrees celsius.
"I think the pilot of the Statar-1 took that race." responded a voice from the left. The construct in the HUI on his ear decided to start a conversation, or rather an argument...
"What makes you think that?" asked Io.
"Well the Morial-5 was a stock car, however the Statar-1, slow in stock form, was heavily modified, and was vastly overpowered. If the race lasted two blocks as I think it did the Statar with it's lack of aggressive acceleration, would have fell behing towards the end of the first block but would have cleaned up nicely at the end of the second block..."
"Okay, Okay," Io interrupted, "You win...".
The cross-light was flashing. Io sprinted across making it just in time for the light to switch off as he touched the curb.
Io looked down the street, and as he surveyed the row of stores the HUI brought a reticle onto the display and centered it on a specific store.
"That's the one you were looking for right?" asked annastasia.
"Yeah, that's the one." replied Io.
It was a small dealership that had a custom order that he had made several weeks before. As he walked in, he cut the lasers that beamed across the doorway, setting off an alarm that rang quietly through the store. Io was greeted by a gruff but freindly old man.
"Hello there. What can I do for you?" He asked.
"Um, yeah" Io started "I had made an order for a gun, it was a single shell auto-coil..." he went on describing the order "I wanted it with the laser sight and the smart-scope that could link with a HUI-5451."
"Oh yeah! i got it right here..." his voice trailing of as he went into the back room. The shop was fairly well stocked and had a lot of things that were fairly exotic. Just the fact that the gun that Io wanted could be buitl by this guy surprised him quite a bit.
"Here it is." said the storekeeper. Proffereing a rag wet with oil draped over something remotley gun-shaped. Upon removing the cover-cloth he found the peice he had expected to see, a modified Shadow-Stealer.
The front end was lengthened by a small pencil-shaped obtrusion that left the barrels edge by only a centimeter, it was tipped in glass and upon Io's fully extending his arm the light lit up and shone in an exact line across the room leaving a dot in the spot that the gun was aimed.
"There are no faults in the craftsmanship, at least that are evident." mused Io.
"I still say that only a transcendant should use a Shadow-Stealer." exclaimed the store keeper "but, if you want it, and have the money to pay for it, I sell it to ya."
"How much did you say it was?" asked Io while looking at his balance via HUI. It showed 123,089.69C*(credits).
"30,000 credits in full." stated the store keeper."I ain't doin' the credits on credit thing anymore. Those internet pirates give you loaded credits that come up empty after you get the payments."
"That's fine," He said as he handed him his credit-chip."Take what you need off of there.."
The chip found it's way into the bay of a small transaction machine. The lights lit up and the machine requested the chip owners passcode. Io promptly typed in his five digit password, and upon hitting the accept key, the machine gave a bright green light out of the top left side of the built-in LCD and immediately after printed accepted out across the screen.

to be continued...

This post was edited by Aynjell on Sep 14, 2004.

I have always wanted to be somebody's hero. Not so much a role-model, but a martar for some cause. Even if it is just saving one person's life at the cost of my own. Even if it is just being there when everything bad happens and give everything I have up only to help somebody else. I want to sacrafice myself for somebody.
This may sound cliche, but just typing out this article, I have a great sense of intensity and purpose. For the first time I understand the reason others give up so damn much, they feel the same way that I do.
I want to know as I fade into oblivion or the afterlife, be whatever it is, that I made such a vast difference in somebody else's life that me dying was actually worth happening. Knowing for a fact that I lead a purposeful life just because of my last decision. My dying decision.
I don't know, it's just such a weird feeling...
But I have it.

This is my first time logging into NAO on my own computer using nautilus. I feel so naughty...
Oh well I guess I should. Big papa Bill Gates wouldn't like this..

This post was edited by Aynjell on Jan 04, 2005.

Why is it that every time that I start getting my life comfortable the powers that be always stir things up?
I wish I knew the answer.
I am now 17 and when I was 12 I did some very bad things that hurt a lot of the people that loved me, namely my family. Since then I have been paying for it day in and day out and i have not seem my kin since.I have been in group homes and treatment centers only to learn what they were not trying to teach me.
I had to grow up by myself and the only thing that those places seem to do for me was constantly remind me that there was a logical barrier between me and the outside world. To some extent there still is. I cannot seem to connect with anybody. People in general are foreign to me.
I have learned over the years to accept everything with a grain of salt and to always expect the worst. I guess theoretically I could not be let down, but this is not the case. It happens to me every day. I strive to meet a goal sacraficing myself in every way possible so that I can reach the end goal in mind only for it to wind up being in vain.
For the last year now I have been living in several different foster homes, all of them different and not all of them good. One of these 'foster placements' was the family that I never had, but that is another post altogether.
Now they are planning on moving my placement again (they being the powers at be that I will not name) and it is getting quite old by now. And it is really starting to ruin my life. I have not lived anywhere solid for more than two months in a year or two and now they are going to be putting me farther from the things that I need. And they are going to expect me to just deal with it like they always do.
As my foster mother has said:
"At what point does a man pay for his crimes."
As much as I hate to admit it I did some pretty bad things, but why am I paying for things that I did when I was 12 when I am nearing my 18th birthday?
Either way it is getting really old and I am growing very tired of it all. I deserve some justice by now.
It is bad enough that due to my mistakes I lost my childhood but now they want to take my adolescence....
I want to live for a little before I have to grow up, I will get what I want more than once my life, I want to be happy and no one can take that away from me. No one.
I will be succesful and they will not stop me, maybe hinder me, but not stop me.
I will go on.

That's right I said it, nobody likes me.
I have my freinds but I am considered to have little to no personality are at least very little. The sad thing is that it is sort of true.
I am a kind of person that will find something and cling to it and only it for dear life. Right now I am hopelessly addicted to computers and more so the alternatively open source operating sytem called linux.
I guess that this has always been a problem of me and It has always gotten me to be an expert or at least a fast growing amatuer unless it is complex like magic the gathering.
I did in fact giver up my magic cards so that i could afford a new computer and it ended up that it was not worth it any way.
I am just hopeless oh well guess I need to start clinging to my computer again.
I have my other problems that could be considered an addiction but it sin't drugs or anything but it does make for a more negative me. I need to get rid of it but I have tried for so long, it's just that it feels natural or even right but it has to die.
Yes DIE.