MelMel's journal

I looked in the mirror and what did I see...

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# 8926

Have you ever had "one of those days"? How about one of those years? in my "group of friends" there is one girl who we all strongly dislike - I am told that hate is to strong an emotion to be expressed by an adolescant, you can decide for yourself.

Anyway, this certain individual was extremely depressed at the start of last year. So me being me, I took her under my wing and forced people to invite her to places and generally tried to make her feel better.

I soon realised that in her current mental state, for her to be happy, she had to consider herself to be "better" than myself. So i put up with it and lied and critisized myself praying that it would all end soon. It didn't.

We were both going on a study tour to China that year in october. In the months before this things rapidly got worse. I could not stand the sight of her. She was not content with her being "better" than myself. Now she decided it would be nice if she actually was me.

Gradually, I noticed her mannerisms changing and becoming a second rate copy of my own. Then she tried to die and cut her hair like mine. that failed dismally which was one of the highlights of my year. I no longer pitied her but i found her disgusting. She was no friend, I barely considered her a person.

When we got to China my patience was already run thin. Then on day 2 she was kind enough to send me nice long letter telling me everything I had done wrong, in TWO DAYS!!

I no longer speak to her and my friends are torn between me, and this individual whom they dont like but will complain to the school cousellor of they ignore her or even mention my name in her presence. You see, she figures that the whole situation is my fault. I am going on a drama tour to New Zealand with her in June this year too. Does anyone know any anger-managment techniques?

Anyway the current situation is this: I got caught bagging her and our parents decided we needed to sort it out or I couldn't go to NZ (as it is all my fault). So I grovelled and said the whole thing was my fault and that it was just a stage and that i was SOOoo sorry etc...so the whole situation has started once more. This year is going to be a good one. I can tell.


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