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bloody hell! our stupid tutor teacher has made this new policy where if we are late to tutor we get detentions. i am late every day, it's not my fault, im ready on time, my lift just doesnt get here!
grrrrrrrrrrrr........(no that is not one of those cutsely so called "sexy" cat like grrr's, its a truly pissed grrr)
these are the excuses i have used:
the person i car pool with was sick
sorry, i was seeing the head of drama about my commitment with helping her tonight.
i had to see the lost and found person as my lock was stolen from my locker when i was standing there (this one was actually true)
i got one detention, but got out of it by complaining to my head of house. he relented and said i had to help one of my friends write her debate, so i sat there for a while and then left. other excuses used:
i had to get my concession card stamped by admin who took to long.
flute choir (which is actually at lunch time)
flute quintet (which is actually a quartet, and im not even in it!)
band (im not in them)
i had to see the head of house.
i went to maths extension
i was at the prayer meeting (yes.....praying id get to tutor on time...)
i had to see the drama teacher to get an extension on my assignment (which has to be done in class time!)
i was getting science tutoring
thats all i can remember for now, but i will add to this almost daily!!
hmmmm, wasn't sure exactly where to post this but it had to go somewhere!!! if you like president bush read no further...but really, there are many much worse things i could've posted...
His British doctor said:
"Mr. President, I am your doctor; I am sorry to inform you,
that you have a problem in your BRAIN.
Your brain has two parts, one Left and one Right.
The Left Part has nothing right in it, and
the Right Part has nothing left in it."
God Save America
Whatever you're feeling music will change it. You become riled with emotion then a bar later calm and careless.
Music is one of the escapes from our world. It tells no story simply emotion. And if you do't like it you can always walk out, press stop, etc...
As much as i love all that, i love stories more. Stories also take us away from the world, they take us out from our lives into someone elses.
Therefore, i absolutly adore musicals. Gilbert and sullivan, steven sondheim, andrew loyd webber....All genius' (hmmmmm, one of those sonfusing is there an "s" after the appostrophy words)
recommend good musicals to me people!!
I recently saw pirates of penzance and fell in love! One of the best things i've ever seen or heard without any doubt!
I don't care what language they're in...Just tell me good stuff!!
Hmmmm, god i hate depression. It takes over everything, i can't work eat, and sometimes i can't breathe.
I have recently discovered something. People are afraid of me, actually i have known that for a long time but i didn't realise my "friends" were
well, either they're afraid of me or they just don't care.
Oh, dear, you all have no idea what i'm talking about, three paragraphs in and already my "structure" is shot to hell.
No, whenever i do anything, good or bad, i get no feedback. It's made me paranoid.
Paranoia, paranoia, everybodys coming to get me....
The slightest glance from anyone and i assume they don't like me because i have done something wrong.
I was talking to lemonyeyes and jeanette about a mutual friend who i really like. I got the impression that she was annoyed or angry (i'm trying to be politically correct) with me. This person is quite close to jeanette who tried to assure me this wasn't the case. Whereas lemonyeyes told me i was paranoid.
Id never really thought about it before, but it's true.
My parents are always saying that there is always someone who i complain doesn't like me etc...
At least i know now it's not my fault. If my friends were honest this never would have happened. You guys are probably reading this thinking how ungrateful i am, that i have freinds who are just trying to be nice, yada yada.
I just want them to be honest. Do you know what it's like living in constant fear fo doing something wrong and assuming you always are? Id rather assume i'm wrong than right, just the sort of person i am.
I realise everthing I am about to say can be dismissed as teen-angst. If you believe that then i advise you to go elsewhere now.
I am one of those people who are average at everything. I am good at humanities and English but not great. I'm average at maths. I try really hard in music and drama but I'm smart enough to realise that every accomplishment i get is due to my families name.
At my school my brother is music captain and my father runs the sound and microphones for all concerts/performances.
i am average at these but get treated slightly better than i deserve due to my name.
I am absolutly shocking at sport, which brings me to my next point. if I wasn't already depressed by knowing that I deserve worse than the already shabby treatment I get, i sure as hell am now. in my previous journal i discussed how my non-existant social life was and why. You pile those together and you get mighty pissed off MelMel.
Then today i have one of the more crappy days i have experianced in life. I play volleyball as my school has compulsory sport. I have never played except for the past 2 weeks. I get there and try my best, knowing that i suck and that the rest of the team would be so much happier if i wasn't there.
i know that it's not fair to everyone else that they get stick with this crappy, whiny person youner then them. But I still don't think I deserve that.
I have always prided myself on controlling my emotions. it doesn't matter what I have accomplished, I know that nobody cares so therfore I maintain a constant expression of depression. It's really not that hard. my closest friends see through that. and for my other distant friends i show no emotion. Just an incredible sense of wit.
I had no idea how to react today. i had no expression or persona ready in my mind for me to able to press the button and have an automatic reaction.
I was really depressed, but nobody cares because they assmue it's normal, or if they think they know me, all part of the act.
I've dug myself in hole and I can't get out.