Mindy's journal

Septemeber 23,2003
Bad days. Hmm...they always seem to come in more then one they always come in a group. Like I never have just one bad day it is like bad days plural. Im just yapping but what's new.

Nothing horrible happened today it just wasn't a good day. Part of the problem is the fact that I am a loser with no friends. Actually that is not true, I do have some friends but they all live far away. So I don't have anyone to do anything with.

Second I know I have to get through school because I know I will appreciate all the hard work in the end but as of right now I am soo sick of it! I want to quit so bad but I know I can't.

The only person I ever do anything with is my boyfriend and I couldn't see him today. I have tried to make friends but college just isn't the same as high school or the younger years. It just is not that easy. Yeah, I mean I could go out and party, get drunk like everyone else, and don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with that, it just is...that it is not who I am. I am not the type of person to go out and party. So my college....stinks because that is all you can do there, and that is the only way you can really make friends is if you like to get drunk. So that leaves me out of that picture. And at my work most of the people who work there are way older then I am so that is out of the question too.

My day has consisted of waking up at 7:00am, going to school, coming home, running errands for my mom, doing homework, sitting around, going out to eat with my family, and now sitting on the computer doing some more nothing. O well life goes on I guess. Lata.
Mindy

September 19,2003
God I am so sick of life, and the ironic thing is I should be grateful for the good life I have. Confusing I know. I have a wonderful boyfriend who loves me and takes care of me but there are so many stresses in my life. Probably no more then anyone elses but I am just not handling them well. First of all my moms cancer is so hard on all of us, especially her though. We thought we had gotten rid of it, she had been diagnosed with breast cancer in the spring and over the summer underwent a mascotomy and had one round of chemo. And now her cancer is back again in her other breast. And she is facing anothe masecotomy. Not to metion the complications she had from her first and only round of chemo that almost killed her. I am also having money problems, school problems. The list goes on and on. Well that is what is up with me. The only awsome thing in my life is my boyfriend Mark. The love we share is getting me through these rough times. I am also leaning on God and trying to keep my faith. Well lata.
Mindy

August 21,2003
Well today was the first day back to classes. It was not a fun thing. I hate having to wake up so early in the morning. And now this is the first year that I am commutting to college I now have to drive 30 mins back and forth each day. To top that off when I get home from hours worth of lectures my parents expect me to sit down and hit the books. I think they could very well be legally insane and just have hidden that fact from me my entire life. Anywayz there were some good points to the day. I didn't get much homework so I can get it done without too much time being taken. And also I got to see Mark today. He always brightens my day. I stopped by his work and ate a quick bite of lunch with him. Well I gotta hit the books so I don't get in trouble by the parents. Hehe. That is how I should refer to the as "The Parents". Makes them sound omnious or something like that. Lata.
~*Mindy*~

July 19,2003
Debt... it sucks. I am constantly in debt. Can't get out of it. Phone bills, car bills, gas, food, it never ends.

I just got back from a road trip with my boyfriend and we had a great time. But I get back to bills... bills and more bills. AHHH! I owe my parents money, and I have NONE! I work but I don't earn enough to pay for everything. And how am I suppose to pay for all of this stuff with imaginary money?

Well back to the road trip. We went to Turkey Foot Lake up by Clevland Ohio. It was a good time we went for my best friends 21st birthday party. We watched movies, ate dinner, partied, and went on boat rides. And we then went to my Nana's house and celebrated her birtday with her.

On Monday we headed to Columbus and hit up the Polaris Mall and Easton Town Center. I went on a mini shopping spree and got some cloths for school. And then we headed over to Easton and watched Uptown Girls.

Uptown girls was a decent movie but it was kind of depressing. I mean it had its funny points but I definetly would not call it a comedy.

Well thatz about all for now. My mom isn't doing too good. She has had tons of problems due to the cancer. The chemo made her blood counts sink way low and she was in the hospital for quite awhile. She is home now but the new truma is that she has a blood clot. Its always something. Well thatz all folks. Lata.

~*Mindy*~

July 30,2003
Well I just wanted to post a quick update on all that is going on in my life.

Well as everyone knows my mom started chemo because she had breast cancer. She went through a lumpectomy (srry can't spell), had a masectomy, and now is doing the chemo.

Well due to the chemo she has been sick....and now is in the hospital because her white blood count (which white blood cells are what fight infections...help to keep you healthy and feeling well, etc) are down to 0. So she got a fever and had to go into the hospital. And I know this doesn't sound very serious but it can be.

Anywayz we don't know yet when she will be able to come home or whether or not she will be able to continue chemo treatments. But basically what they are doing at the hospital is keeping a close watch on her. She is being kept in isolation so that it reduces the amount of contact she will encounter, etc. And they are pumping her full of antiobiotics through ivs.

I got to see her for the first time today since she went into the hospital. And she is doing as well as she can considering all. She is in good spirits and is trying to stay positive. Well that is all the info I have for now.

Life is rough but all you can do is deal with it one moment at a time. Some things I have realized is that friends are so important, loved ones are amazing, and God is there for you when you really need Him.

I am still not sure why all this is happening but I know there is a reason for everything in life. As a really wise person once told me sometimes life is just hard, and there is just nothing you can do about it but keep fighting, hold on to faith and hope, and never give up. Lata.
~Mindy~ <><

July 19,2003
I'm getting ready to head out to work. I really don't feel like going. It is a beautiful day outside and all I feel like doing is just relaxing. My mom is tolerating her chemo pretty well so far. She has this horrible rash on her face but other then that. I mean things aren't picutre perfect or anything but they are not as bad as I thought they were going to be either. Well that's all for now gotta run. Lata.
~Mindy~ <><