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April 13,2003 11:21PM
Back at school....Oh what fun! This weekend seemed to fly by. I got to see "Anger Managment" starring Adam Sandler...it is such a funny movie. Friday night was the best I got to spend all late afternoon and night with Mark. He makes me so happy. Mark is begining to feel better now too so my prayers are being answered. Tonight my family and I went to the Passion Play at our church Liberty Heights, it really moved me. I reaffirmed my faith of how much God is a part of my life, how much He loves me, and how he is always there. I am never without Him. The gift God gave us is so amazing. My parents and actually my entire family insisted on following me back to school tonight..AHH! But I made it through. Some damage was done tonight but hopefully I can repair it this week. Overall though it was a pretty good weekend. Well I have to go and get some homework done and get some sleep. Lata.
April 10,2003 11:06PM
Well I just got a call from my family wishing me a "Happy Gotcha Day". LOL. I had forgotten that my Gotcha Day was tomorrow..how sad is that. For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about. I am adopted and for children who are adopted sometimes their parents recognize the day they "got" their children. Thus the celebration of the "Gotcha Day". My parents got me from South Korea on April 11,1984. Anywayz I would go into this big long rambling about how sometimes I wonder if it is such a day to celebrate or not..but you can get the hint just from what I have already said. The other thing I am thinking about is that I know tomorrow is a day my mom will never forget, because for mothers who actually give birth to their children they never forget the day their child was born, well for mine she never forgets the very day where her first child was placed into her arms. But the sad thing is I have to wonder other then me and my Mom who else really cares? Its a kind of depressing thought. I know my Dad probably doesn't even remember. Oh well...those are my few thoughts on the subject. Back to the piles and mountains of homework that are calling my attention. Lata.
April 10,2003 9:45PM
This has not been the best night. Nothing horrible has happened just hasn't been great. I still have tons of work to do for school, and I have a really long weekend ahead of me. Normally weekends are something I look forward to but for some reason or another I just am not looking forward to this one. I feel over scheduled. Friday I am suppose to be doing this for one person being with someone else and it is just making me feel as though I am being pulled in different directions. Then Saturday my entire family is coming for my cousins bridal shower which I by no choice of my own am required to go to. And all of this not even metioning all the homework I need to accomplish. Basically it is the same old problem of too much to do and too little time in which to do it. Work didn't go well either I got no donations what so ever which is always a downer. And my favorite shows are on tonight CSI and Without a Trace and I don't have the time to watch them because I have too much work to do. As I sit here thinking about my predictment I think about why I am even at college and the simple reason is that I am trying to secure myself a good future, at the cost of the present being hectic, stressful, and at times full of unhappiness. And I have to ask myself is it worth it? But I don't know what the answer is. Not sure if any of this makes sense, but then the world is insane if we look at it. Hehe. Ok well I need to get to work on the massive amounts of homework I have. Till I find time again. Lata.
April 10,2003 1:55PM
Sleep is sooo good. Last night was like the first night in forever where I was actually rested and felt good. It was so nice. I am in such a good mood today, I have great friends. I am just overall happy. Now if this will stick all day I don't know...but hopefully it will last awhile.
Thanks yous, I have to send them out: They go to Lindsay for being there for me when I freak out, you are a true friend. Mark of course you...you are always there for me even when you are feeling awful I wish I could be there for you when you need me...I love you. Without you two I don't know what I would do. And of course last but not least at all God: Thank you Lord, you are by my side no matter where I go or how bad it gets, I wouldn't be able to survive in this world without you.
For everyone: Be happy, enjoy life, take advantage of everything thrown at you...the good and the bad. Well thatz all for now I gotta go and get a shower. Luv u all. God bless. Lata.
April 9,2003 11:34PM
My life is so busy at the moment but I am enjoying it. At the moment I feel a surge of accomplishment because I got so much done today. It is such a nice feeling to know that you have done something worth while. I worked tonight, which is something I really needed to do because I really need the money, but don't we all? LOL. And then I worked on my project for awhile tonight. I am actually really enjoying working on this Psychology Project I am doing research on Howard Gardner's Theory on Multiple Intelligences and conducting a survey. I am learning quite a bit from this.
I am also going through Mark withdrawl. Hehe. I did'nt get to talk to him much today and I miss him so much. It is amazing how much you can miss just hearing someones voice. I feel so bad for him he is going through a rough time. He recently had surgery and somehow they managed to mess up his throat with the air tube they used. The swelling and soreness that is occuring is causing him alot of discomfortant. I wish I could make all the pain go away for him but I know I can't. And the fact that I can't even be with him to comfort him is really hard..but I know I need to go to class and talk to him when I can.
Today I went to the Super Wal-Mart here and got the cd Finch, they are an awsome group. Mark and Josh introduced me to them..not personally or anything but just to their music. My favorite song of theirs is one Mark one sent me when I was feeling lonely, it is entitled: "Letters to You". The lyrics go like this:
"Can't you see that i wanna be there with open arms
It's empty tonight and i'm all alone
Get me through this one
Do you notice i'm gone?
Where do you run to so far away?
I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so
I want you to know that I miss you I miss you so
I'm writing again these letters to you on much I know
But i'm not sleeping and you're not here
The thought stops my heart
No more looking i've found her
I'm gone away..."
It is such an amazing song. And describes how I feel about Mark so much.
I got to finish the movie "The Sweetest Thing" today too, it is such a funny movie, you just can't help but laugh. I also watched "Charlies Angel's" I had been wanting to see it forever. It was a very entertaining movie.
I am typing out this journal while I listen to Destinys Child, their music is great, I love listening to the blend of their voices.
Well I better get to bed and try and get some rest. Lata.
April 6,2003 9:35PM
Happiness, what is happiness? I am still not sure. I think it must be one of those things that you never truly understand or figure out. I say this because I think if I knew how to be happy, or truly understood what happiness was I would know how to avoid being unhappy. Now don't get me wrong I have had alot of happiness or happy times..my life isn't always the pits. Have you ever noticed how everything in life is always mixed up together? One thing always effects another it is just one of those things that you have to endure..because it is life. Life it is a term that is used all the time to use as a scapgoat for those painful times you must endure, for the bad...whenever anything happens you can always count on hearing.."its life". At the moment I am back at school tired with tons to do, and tons to think about. My day has been one mixed up day and I can't yet determine whether it was a really bad day or a good day or what it was. I think I may just be too tired to figure it out. I came back to school, unpacked all my stuff, cleaned, and am now sitting here typing this journal entry. I need to get some homework done and get some sleep. I think that is what I am going to go and do. Sorry this entry makes no sense whatsoever. It is just a bunch of words thrown down in an attempt to create an entry. Lol. I am just lost tonight. But I know I will find myself once again. Another day... a new tomorrow...future. Hmm..intersting thought. Lata.