Salvial_Ten's journal

For the first time in over a year, I allowed myself to get into a serious conversation about relationships. This, I admit is the painfully stupid part of my day. The blindingly obvious is the fact that I'm entirely too attracted to one of the people I was conversing with for my own damn good. This too, falls under the catagory painfully stupid.

It isn't that said person and I aren't compatable...it's just that I know for a patented fact that there is a serious deficiany in physical attraction on the part of the opposite party. I however, am not suggesting that I'm the most obscenely horrid looking wretch on the face of the planet. I'm just acknowledging the fact that I'm not exactly the essance of Aphrodite, Venus, or the muses men often seek.

Back to blindingly obvious. Another thing that's become quite apperant to me lately is that I should likely spend alot more time perfecting all the little kinks in my academic writing whilst I'm still a fish and have time to form the habbit and get much quicker at it by the time it comes to needing to write massive papers. Oh well, that's one thing I'm probably not going to do. Procrastination will be my death...Eventually.

Another thing that's obvious to me now, that wasn't before, is that I actually do want some sort of relationship with the opposite sex. Granted, I've got male friends galor, but for once, just once I'd like to spend time with a male and not automatically get dropped into the "just friends" catagory. It's pretty goddamn frustrating.

Enough of my drivel.

--Jami

First off, I appologize for being a troll/lurker or whatever word you personally may have for a NAOee that hasn't been posting. Truth be told I've been a bit lazy on post reading/pondering and hence lack of response...

Anyway, on to the so called adventure. My friend Brad and I recently went to examine the supposed corpse of the Administrative Clock Tower (ACT) Building. One of the more famous legends in Regan Houston Dorm is that one of the schools supporters died had herself mumified coated with latex and stood errect in her display gown along with all the manequins representing the wardrobe of other dead patrons to the university. To access this display of manequins and a dead body you first "enter the ACT building at the door leading directly to the second floor (midway up a hill) follow a hall till you get to a piano" then "go through a set of doors that no one goes into" and at the end of the hall in the last display case she stands.

I didn't believe it to begin with for the obvious reasons of a) dry or moist decompositon eventually starts to smell bad, b) it's an extreamly unlikely story, and c0 it's probably illegal. Brad also had similar doubts. A friend of ours Daniel is actually writing a paper on the myth, hopefully she'll understand the lakc of favorable probability and consider it fiction.

The directions were quite accurate though Brad compaired them to a scavenger hunt. We saw the "body" long before we got to the end of the hall. From a distance she's very real looking. And if you're uneducated to the existance of the optical illusion her squinted black eyes tend to follow you down the hall. The hall in general is very creepy, white tile floor, white walls, white ceiling and two display cases filled with department store manequins in period clothing. Brad and I were suitably weirded out by the only other human looking figure in the room. Upon close inspection one can tell that the grain of her skin looks too smooth to be human (despite the layers of dust on it), and that its that makeup pink available via any cheap blush. Brad pointed out that she has "doll hair" as well.

I consider it as being a good way to spend an otherwise boring afternoon and a good way to spend quiality time BSing with a friend. :)

In other news, I just sent my roomate back to her home state for military duty thing and have my room all to myself this weekend. Yay! Also, I've recently aquired employment but lack in hours, thus slightly tarnishing the luster of being employed.

--Jami

Things are actually going halfway smoothly for the time being. I've gotten a good start on my freshman year at university, I've adjusted socially to the situation, and I spent most my afternoon at MTV's Rock the Vote (litterally the only MTV event I'd ever support). My grades are also rocking thus far. English has had me get every point that I could suck out of it, holding me steadily at an A, I've had a psych exam that I got a B on but coupled with the perfect score recieved on the accompanying homework levels out to an A average. History is just attendance thus far, but our first of four tests is coming up Thursday, all essay. Fun(or not so fun perhaps)!

I think success wise, English Composition 1 has got to be my best class. My work is already easily recognized, slightly bragged on, and used as an example to my class as well as the teacher's other Eng Comp1 classes. (Yeah, that was a bit egotistical but I rarely get moments like that to shine.)

Of course though, it's obligatory that with the good comes the bad and the mediocre. I think the rest of my life falls directly in the line of mediocre, such as the fact that I'm still hunting down that ellusive beast refered to as a job and that I'm still lodged at my mother's home. Both of which are things that will soon be alleviated, for better or worse. I'm choosing to be optimistic about it though.

--Jami

For the longest time I've been having issues with sleep, one of which is insomnia that sprang from the other problem, or at least I'm fairly sure it did. I'd like to note now that the rest of what I'm about to write is likely complete drivel, which is what I'll be setting the post type as.

For about the last three or four years I've been getting this really odd feeling when I'm laying in bed trying to go to sleep, it feels like a cross between a heavy weight being laid ontop of me and that quirky feeling of being watched. But it wasn't a weight like a book or another matress just being sat on me, it's something less substantial than that, and it gradually gets heavier. And I feel it mostly on my face, back, chest and limbs, and the sensation of that lack of something pushing against me is eerily like skin and it gets harder to breath.

Now, as a rational human being I tell myself it's just me being paranoid. But why would paranoia feel like a load of skin covered bricks being gradually eased onto me?

Another problem with this explaination is that I never get the feeling when I'm not at home.

The other explaination I give myself for this is that my highly active imagination is working in over drive in that supposedly peaceful and restful time between being awake and busy and asleep and dreaming. Although, I don't buy this one much either because I don't really have a set time that I lay down to sleep and I never get the above described feeling when I crash during the day.

I spoke to a friend of mine about this, who's judgement I trust completely, at least ninety nine percent of the time. In her opinion it's something supernatural. (Here it might be pertinant to note that she's a Wiccan.) I don't disbelieve in the supernatural and this sounds like a nearly acurate explaination, aside from the fact that there isn't any proof that such things exist (in this case).

Or perhaps I'm on the verge of some sort of mental breakdown with an unknown cause.

All I know is that I'm sick and tired of that weird ass feeling, and would like to get some decent sleep. Has anyone else here ever gotten that feeling or something like it? Or does anyone have any suggestions on how to get rid of it or what it might be?

--Jami

I think this is probably the most worthless and underproductive summer I've ever had, and it's completely my fault.

For the past two months I've been in one of those slumps which involve staying in bed, losing track of time to the point where you don't really even distinguish night from day and of course the internet, well at least during the beguining of it all. I had gotten probably the best job oportunity I've ever had and blew it because of Flash MX complications leading to me getting pissed, and wounded pride keeping me from contacting my employers about the problems and what's been going on. I hate looking foolish and I'd managed to do so by not sending a couple of emails. So now I'm finnishing up the project to get it turned into said employers knowing full well that they aren't going to throw me anymore bones. And I've otherwise been unable to find any sort of job at all. Either experiance that I don't have is wanted or the "positions have already been filled" seems to be the only thing I hear.

And recently, my new roomate has moved in, we're still in my parents house, still jobless, I've let her have control of the internet since she's been here which explains my lack of posting, however, we need to get a move on. At least I got registered for college next semester, and orientation's soon. Perhaps things will start looking up from here.

--Jami

P.S. I just want to take a moment to say I love everyone here at Netalive.org

I was scrolling through the list of users earlier, and I started seeing people with low star rankings that had according to the little post summery submitted a couple of comments and that were rated quite well.

It made me wonder why these people didn't post more. Did they feel like they weren't getting anywhere? Perhaps they were a bit frightened while reading posts written by higher ranked members (I know it was a bit intimidating to me at first)? Or, even the worst of all, they forgot about us? Whatever the reason may be, I'm writting this in hopes that they might drop in and lurk long enough to notice my little journal entry.

I want to welcome those of you who had good input to come back and join us again. And for those other little red stars that haven't spoken up at all, come and say hello. We don't bite, really we don't. And maybe a few of you that had a rocky start should try again, for I know most of us are open minded people who are willing to give people a second chance. :)

--Jami

This post was edited by Jaz on Jul 09, 2004.