Salvial_Ten's journal

I was looking back over alot of my old posts, and it's occured to me that it isn't truely Trollism that turns me silent for long periods of time, nor is it really a lack of opinion. It comes from just not really wanting to post what I think and feel on a deep personal level, and it doesn't have anything to do with the people in this wonderfull little web community, because I think you guys are great people. It's just that I feel uncomfortable with admitting my own thoughts and feelings to myself.

This revelation truely sank in last week when we were assigned to write a letter to someone we felt strongly about and haven't really had a means of communicating with them. We didn't have to show anyone this letter, not even the teacher, but we had to write it. The person I chose to write to is a friend of mine named Sam. Every day he and I have some sort of bantering arguement with eachother about anything and everything. This morning was no different, and I think it was over something quite trivial like the proper pronunciation of some Spanish word (I can't remember it or the arguement now). And well, I was still feeling really amused about it, and he's someone I think about alot, so I decided to let the letter write itself. Which made me admit alot of things to myself, that I just really didn't want to know.

Since then, I've been in this void, semi-depressed state of conciousness and wrapped into some sort of bizarre introspective nightmare, that only comes after: A) writting something like the above letter, B) A truamatizing expieriance, or C) A bad trip on a psychadelic drug. And frankly, I don't like it.

--Jami

Have you ever baught something, such as say...an organizer, and then weeks later discover that it is indeed a wallet as well?

I have, and I feel a bit dense mainly because the box it came in said "wallet organizer" on it, and well I just thought it illuded to the fact that it is indeed wallet size. Kinda cool though cause I was wanting a new wallet.

--Jami

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm more than happy for the holidays to be over and done with. This year, I'm glad to report when tremendously better than last. We actually decorated the house, and my father wasn't quite as bitchy as he was last year around this time. Mom and I made the discovery that somewhere between the last time (few years ago at least) we bought a real tree to decorate and this year we grew quite allergic to them. I'm finally starting to get over the sinus infection I had, woohoo!

I'm not looking forward to having to work at a consession stand at a college football conferance football tournament, and for several reasons; the first of which being I don't like massive amounts of one people crammed into one place. I've never minded large crowds per say, just so long as they aren't occupying a very tiny space. Secondly, the last one of these things I worked left me feeling really sick to my stomach. Take my advice...NEVER eat at a professional sporting event/consert/anything that has a consession stand. And the final reason being, I really just feel lazy. It's the last day of my winter break, and I could think of alot better things to do.

On a good note, I'm finally going to get pictures of the new house up. I got a scanner this year for Christmas so I can take pictures and actually get them posted. That, and the annoying slightly disgusting fundraiser work I'm doing is going to pay for a wonderful seven day Carribean cruise.

--Jami

I can say for a fact this has been the most horrible week I've had all month. I've been alittle sick ever since last Thanksgiving and refused to let my mother take me to the doctor, which I admit was alittle stupid but, I'm stubborn. Well anyway, Monday afternoon I came home from school, sat my bag down and all but passed out in bed. I woke up Tuesday morning and told my parents I couldn't go to school that I was crawling back in bed. They agreed and I didn't get out of bed till Wednesday, when I woke up feeling worse than I did Tuesday. Thursday mom took me to the ER where I found out I've got bronchitis coupled with a sinus infection. They gave me two different pills and some caugh syrup with codine in it and I've been in a haze ever since. I really don't like being sick. Especially right before finals, because I'm missing a crap load of work and don't have much time to make it up. THat and because I've been rather sickly all year, I've missed quite a few days of school, and will probably have to go before the State "Attendance Committee" and prove to them why I deserve to pass this semester. Ugh.

--Jami

My 18th birthday will be here in two days, and the shocking part of it is that I'm not really excited, short of getting to go to the local comedy club with my mom to celebrate it. And until a couple of weeks ago when my mom mentioned not being able to believe I'm about to turn eighteen, I'd more or less forgotten my birthday's coming up. Is that...normal?

On a side note, it's kinda funny how the 25-27th is for me, the 25th is my friend Abigail's birthday, mine's the 26th and my grandmother's is the 27. :-)

--Jami

Over the past few weeks I've been a bit on the trollish side, and be most assured, it wasn't a purposefull happening. I just did as I normally do this time of year, get involved in too much at once. I've almost got the site done for Legend Communications, which is great, however I've begun the very large task of learning how to DM, because a friend of mine isn't satisfied with just having a session once a week with a group that is a bit of a drive away. So he and a few others that want to know how to play have encouraged me into DMhood. I just hope I meet their expectations. Further more I've got to get horrendously serious with my project for an art contest which I was asked to participate and the deadline is December 15. And of course there is all the other tasks I'm either unable to avoid or need to partake due to school and wanting to go on the senior trip.

So the goal now is to over come my multi-tasking frenzy and participate more in NAO, because it feels rather odd to be less of a "go getter" than I usually am.

--Jami