Stoic_Slaughter's journal

I cannot believe how many people on this website have posted things from another writer without giving him/her credit. They're always found out, to be certain, but the whole idea behind their actions makes no sense to me. This website exists so that intelligent people can lay down some well written, well thought out things, and the fact that anyone would rip off someone else's work infuriates me. I remember a little sneaky girl who tried to act like a poem I had written was hers in sixth grade, and I pushed her into a desk in the middle of class with intentions to kill her. I'm not a violent person, but what she did was like molesting my child or poking holes into my soul. All of the decent writers in existence spend a great deal of time, effort, energy, and love for their works! How could any human being be so insensitive to blatantly and intentionally copy someone else's writing and pass it off for his own? I am sure everyone gets inspiration from somewhere and vague ideas are copied frequently, but word for word? That is absolutely vile, selfish, and cruel.

To the people who have done that... is it worth it? All of that to seem impressive in the eyes of people you will never meet, when you really have no thoughts in your heads and no compassion for the loving writers who took the time to make their own thoughts worth reading. You're disgusting and I have no respect for you.

There are certain subtleties to which I have grown accustomed. They have just recently started to tug at my soul. My mother's left foot pops when she walks too quickly. She has a selective memory, and she lies. She gets this terribly confused look sometimes when I ask her questions, and it is unbearable. She is extremely clumsy and usually when she hurts herself, I am blamed for her lack of grace. She gags herself every time she brushes her teeth. Her way of speaking changes (accent, everything) depending on to whom she is speaking on the phone. My father's way of walking is almost a stomp. It's the kind of walk you hear and you think, "That person is unhealthy." He is unhealthy. He blows his nose as loudly as possible every morning, and manages to clear his throat in ways more disgusting than I can even describe. He chews tobacco, and the way he spits it is even more disgusting than his nose blowing. Altogether, he just makes weird noises. I've even noticed things that I do myself, and they REALLY bother me! If I'm not paying attention, I click my teeth or I bite my thumb.

So I suppose I've realized what love is. Love is noticing those things about another person, and accepting them and seeing them in a positive light. I love my parents, I'm sure, but family is annoying so that's understandable. I must say, however, I do feel a bit Edgar Allen Poe ish... to be so obsessed about things. Ah well. We all have our quirks.

I don't like the air of arrogance that some people who post here have assumed. I've backed out of a great deal of discussion here, mainly because I want to avoid as many, "Oh, haha, I beg to differ"'s as I can. It's uppity and it's unbecoming. Knowing a few words doesn't make anyone clever. I'm certainly not trying to start anything, but ego frustrates me and when I first joined this site I was welcomed with such intelligent, humble arms... I suppose I'm just disappointed that some people use this as a way of lifting themselves out of their troubled situations and beaming in the glory of their own self-obsession.

Well, I mean, it's not that dramatic... but it irks me nonetheless.

At this point, I feel like everything is flying by me and I'm just sitting still. My life is so inconsistent. I just sit back and laugh. Honestly, I've never been happier, but this is all very strange. My best friend of three years decided that she was better off being best friends with an 18 year old sophomore who smokes lots of wonderful things. That's fine, I suppose. I'm struggling in school, but I'll get through it and do better next year. My home has been too dramatic to discuss, and I'm not actually involved with any of it. Everyone's been really nice to me throughout everything, and I think I'll be just fine, but I'm certainly exhausted.

Gas prices have gone to hell, haven't they? $2.17 in my hick town. This time last year, it was $1.15. I should appreciate it I suppose, considering that they'll be $8.00 by the time I wake up tomorrow. Maybe we Americans should stop guzzling gas like it's going to be around forever. We use the most, you know. I hate that about American culture. "Work hard so that one day, you too can have huge, useless vehicles and lots of money. That's all that matters anyway, right?" Haha. I could roll with that, but I'm awfully tired. Maybe some other time.

One of my very dearest friends is named Julian. (Beautiful name, right? Well, he's a beautiful guy.) Curly hair, big brown eyes, really just the cutest thing you've ever seen. Julian and I act like complete idiots around each other, and I mean... COMPLETE idiots. He sits with me at lunch, and the other day I was bored. I usually bite him, scratch him, poke him, punch him or do a variety of other things to hold his attention and bother him. This day, I leaned up against him very forcefully. It was kind of like an annoying push. He pushed back. We did this for about 10 minutes, and it was hilarious because he's so much stronger than I am and he was being just plain mean about it. Finally he gave up and scooted down. I wasn't finished bothering him, so I laid down with my head on his leg. He had a container of applesauce in his hand, and my friend Connie (articulate_azn) said to him, "Pour it on her head! Do it!" Julian chuckled, acting like he was going to. I thought he was serious, so I moved his arm away before he could... but he was just kidding, and the fact that I moved his arm made him spill it. That's right. All over my head. His eyes widened and he covered his mouth and the whole table erupted in laughter. (I was no exception.) I ran to the bathroom and wet my hair completely. Julian felt terrible, but said to me, "You see? Most girls would've thrown a fit." For the rest of the day when people asked why my hair was wet, I replied, “Applesauce.“ Ah... such memories make high school worthwhile!

I figured I'd post a recent picture of myself to make things a little more personal.

Here we go.

I thought it was funny because I had just woken up and my hair was a mess. Enjoy.

This post was edited by Stoic_Slaughter on Jan 10, 2005.