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I missed this place!! Yes, I did. And I admit that I've been checking in and out and noticing how there wasn't so much movement at all, I have refrained from posting in this past what... year? But I am back, and I intend on revamping this place... Let's rebuild what we had, shan't we? I promise to try to be more active, and I hope to see more and more posts from now on.
Tonight is the first night I spend in our new house alone... Well I should say alone with the cat I guess. That's right. Hawkeye, my lovely husband, has gone to Rimini today and will be back only tuesday night. Tomorrow I arranged for a friend to come by and sleep here... we'll have a girls night out or something like that, but as far as tonight is concerned... well for now I just can't sleep :P
Being here alone is so incredibly sad. Maybe most of you will think I am totally crazy to think this. It's just that I am used to have him with me every night, and I can't help but feeling lonely. Before getting married I lived with my parents, and their bedroom was but 2 feet away from mine. My mom has spent her youth being away from my dad (he worked in Milan and would get back on Friday nights to leave again on Monday mornings), and I honestly don't know how she managed. I find it totally unbearable. Maybe the problem is just that I am not used to sleeping alone. Sometimes I had to sleep alone in my parents' house though; it happened that they were away for a trip or something, and I would stay there alone. I didn't particularly like it, but it wasn't so bad.
Now, on the contrary, everytime Hawkeye leaves I feel like he was getting back to America, and the idea of seeing him go drills a tear in my heart. It is so incredibly sad; it just takes me back to not but a couple of years ago when we weren't married yet, and in order to see each other we had to go back and forth. The times in which we had to say goodbye were so terrible. There hasn't been a time in which I haven't cried like a fountain :P Maybe I am simply possessive, I don't know. Surely our relationship has never been a normal one; no normal couple has to face this kind of emotional distress (or at least that shouldn't happen) that we had to endure everytime one of us had to leave to get back to his/her own continent.
I know it is crazy, but I still feel like that. This is the second time he goes to Rimini for work, and the first time I felt basically the same. Maybe I felt a little better just because I had actually gone to sleep at my parents' place. But tonight I just couldn't do that. We have a cat now, and I don't think it would have been nice to leave the poor Luna home alone.
I tried to sleep with her. I took her in the bedroom with me, and for a while she sat down beside my head, letting me pet her. But after about 15 minutes she started to get excited and hyper and started to play with the bedspread. Of course it would have been impossible to sleep like that, and so I was forced to put her back in the place where she normally sleeps. I guess that she needs to be a little older before we can let her sleep in the room with us.
The moral of the story is that I am totally alone now. I just hope I will start to feel very sleepy so I can probably fall asleep without thinking much about the space that is not filled in my bed tonight. So goodnight Netalive; I will hopefully see you again tomorrow, or if not, very soon anyway.
Hawkeye and I finally moved in the new apartment. We still have some things to unpack and tidy up, but it's coming along quite well. I am really happy about all of the good things life has brought us so far, and I hope that there will be plenty more.
We moved a little closer to my parents, and this one is a real apartment. I say real to mean that it wasn't furnished at all; it was just plain empty. There were several things to do to fix it up, and now it is just the cutest thing. It is 120 square meters, and it is way big for the two of us. There is a neat kitchen (it could have been bigger, but it is anyway big enough to contain all the stuff we need - dishwasher included!), a bedroom, a livingroom, a small bathroom and one more room which is going to be Hawkeye's study. Actually it will be the place in which I will go to iron as well :P There are two nice balconies; one of them serves both the kitchen and the study, while the other one serves the bedroom.
What else? Oh yeah, we are on the third floor, and the whole building was built at the end of 1800. This implies that the ceilings are way high (3.5-4.0 meters) --> Hawkeye loves this feature in fact.
We already furnished part of it. We bought a nice kitchen that is of a bright orange; we got a nice deal for it: it's of quite good quality and we paid it 7000 Euros appliances included. Our bedroom was already ready: we got the bed that belonged to my dad when he was living 5 days a week in Milan for work, and my grandmother's dresser and closet. They are really awesome pieces of furniture... I wouldn't need to say this, but I gotta admit that the stuff that was handmade 70 years ago is way better than the stuff that is now produced in factories. We also got two bedside tables, which have handy drawers for us to keep small stuff.
As far as the livingroom is concerned, my parents gave us a nice cherry wood table; we also bought a little desk (that is not exactly the right word) at Ikea (I know, I know... Idioten kaufen eben alles) to prop up the tv (which was my cousins' present for my birthday). Always at Ikea we bought a table and 4 chairs to put in the kitchen. I am not really sure how long all of that stuff is gonna last, but afterall we needed it, and we already paid quite a bit for the kitchen. We are also planning to buy 2 chairs/armchairs for the livingroom, so that we can sit there and watch tv.
What else... ah yes, one of the cool features of this apartment is that there are a few closets, which come really in handy to store away stuff. We also got a small - very small - room to keep the washing machine and its detergents.
I can't wait to post some pictures, so that our place can live also on the 'net :)
I went to a job interview for a direction secretary in a language school today. I really liked the environment there, and I know I would love to work there. I think I made a good impression on the director, and considering that I have been studying foreign languages, I think I also have all the prerequisites for working there.
None of the other girls today had my same education or anything, so I hope that I will be picked. However, they will be having job interviews for the whole week, so I don't know. It would definitely be better than working for 892424, that's for sure. Also the salary would be way better (900.00 € a month that will be increased every tot months).
It would only be a little messy if they hired me, because I am getting married on the 20th, and in July I am supposed to be trained, but I would hope this is not a problem. Also, I should then start working for real on the 1st of September, but Neil and I will be in Sardinia until the 6th. All of these things are still to be revealed to the director however. If next week she calls me for another interview and says that she's interested in hiring me, then I will worry about telling her. Right now I didn't want to burn my chances right away. Also because I would really like to get this job.
We'll see, I guess. I will keep all of this story posted, because I know I will enjoy to come back here in a year, and read what I was doing the year before :)
Yes! That's right! I am getting married to Neil on the 20th of July 2006, at 3:30 pm.
We have so much stuff to do still though. We have decided for the invitations, and they should be ready soon, and hopefully all the ones we are going to invite will get them soon enough to not plan anything, and come to our marriage.
It is going to be something quite simple. You won't see pictures of me in a white wedding gown, as I don't want to spend like 2000 Euros for the crappiest of it ;) If I can have it my way, I'd like something light blue, so that it can match my shoes, and I don't need to buy new shoes. Plus, I want to buy a dress that I can wear also in other occasions. Yes, might be a little formal, but not as formal as a wedding gown.
I am sorry I haven't posted here for a while, but things were really hectic here. Especially with the problems we had with Neil trying to get the documents. We still need an interpreter for the marriage (how weird is that?!), but fortunately I already have the right person.
My best friend is going to be my maid of honor, and my cousin Andrea is going to be Neil's best friend... apparently, the best man and the maid of honor have to own the Italian citizenship, so Neil couldn't have his father as his best man. But I think we solved the problem just fine :)
Some people here on Nao, you know who you are... I hope you guys will be able to take your butts here for the d-day. I just want to make sure that you know it won't be such a huge ceremony like the very last one I attended to ;) Nothing can beat that, I don't think. However, Neil and I would love to have you here. You'll receive the invitation soon, but until then consider yourselves already invited, alright?
By the title I gave to this post, I guess you can pretty much imagine what or better who I am talking about. Yes, Neil left today to get back to the States. I feel so empty right now, so incomplete. I feel like crying, but at the same time I know that it won't accomplish to anything at all. All I want is to feel again the warmth I feel when he's around me, and this won't happen if not in 4 months.
4 months... they seem an eternity to me right now. How can I resist 4 more months without him? In the course of these years, this has been the recurring question. Always. And I don't know how, but I have always managed. This time is rougher. Probably because I was somehow already set for having him here for good, for us to be able to finally live our life together and everything. And finding out that all of this is not possible yet was definitely a bad Christmas gift. Of course I knew this even before we planned for him to come and visit.
I do bless his visit in fact. I am sure I would be feeling much worse overall if he hadn't come. Or this is what I firmly believe right now. However, the sorrow I feel now is quite unbearable. I almost think I see him behind the door to my room or something, and coming to terms with reality is always so terribly rough.
I know that right now I just can't wait for him to be home again, so that we can talk once more. But in the meanwhile I am hopeless. Maybe I should try to sleep some, that would help. That's what I said I would do, but right now I don't know if I can. I keep thinking of him, of how wonderful it was when he was here, of how everyday with him is a blessing. I just want him back so badly. And yet I cannot move from this fsking city, because of my graduation, which I don't even know when will occur yet. If it weren't for that (and for my current lack of 1000 Euros) I would already be on a plane directed to Atlanta, maybe the same one he's on at the moment.
Anyway, my rant ends here. I just needed to shout it all out, and maybe now I can start healing and relaxing. I do hate departures.