andromacha's journal

Love letter

?% | 1

# 40840

I think that tonight it is my turn to be corny and write down a few thoughts about my one and only. I want it to be here, posted for everyone to see, so that later on, i will be able to go back to it, and feel once again the emotion of this moment in which i am writing this...

My love, my precious one, you're the most important thing in my life, and there is no day I don't think of you, and how special you are to me, and how wonderful and full my life is since I've gotten together with you.

I know that I could never have enough of waking up beside you, and lay down in the bed beside you. It is just the most wonderful thing, love, and I really cannot believe that all of this luck has hit me in these last few years. 4 years ago, I certainly wasn't thinking that I would have found my one and only, and that I would have had someone to lay with every night, and to be with for the rest of my life. Okay, maybe I was also looking at my life in a somewhat negative way, but still I definitely couldn't foretell that it would have happened to me, at least not so soon.

But then it hit me, and you came into my life with all your love and sweetness, and now I know that I couldn't live without it. I mean, it is such a wonderful feeling to be loved, and especially to be loved by someone you love back so much. And you know, love, you're my everything. I certainly couldn't imagine myself without you now, because you're my perfect half. You complement me so well, and we are just like one the mirror of the other that I couldn't be with anyone else but you.

You're my angel. You're my dream come true, and I feel so incredibly blessed to have you in my life.
I love you, Neil. Thank you for being mine. And thank you for making every day a little more special.

This post was edited by andromacha on Dec 02, 2005.

My laptop died

# 39411

This is shocking news, I know... my baby laptop died! It was only 4 months old, and I took really excellent care of it (I even put it in its cover every night after kissing it goodnight ;) Ok. maybe that's exaggerated but still...) yet yesterday it died.

Probably it is either a failure of the memory or, even worse, of the motherboard. Being a Dell, it has a great technical assistance (at least here in Italy, Dell is the best one) and so tomorrow they will come to pick it up to fix it. I know I will miss it.

That computer is all for me. Well I mean... no, I don't do weird things with him (in the kinky way), but it is the means of communication, aside from the phone, that let me keep in touch with my beloved, and the lack of it just kills me. Fortunately for me, my cousins are two angels, and Andrea let me borrow his brother's old old laptop. It could be placed in the jurassic era, but at least it works and it connects to the internet, and lets me do barely the minimum I need to do with it, at a reasonable speed.

What I can't believe is that a baby laptop could die like that. I mean, it's 4 months old, and nothing ever happened to it. Never fell on the ground, never got hit or smashed or anything. I always had extra care for it, as if it had been a real baby boy (its name would be Rudy, like my lovable kitten who is in the feline paradise now) and so the fact that it died so suddenly and abruptly just makes me so sick.

I haven't eaten since last night: and at dinner I had only a little bit of mushrooms with a small piece of bread. I just couldn't eat, thinking that my laptop was so sick (it hadn't died yet, but it died shortly after). Maybe you do think I am crazy about such things, but it's just that I tend to establish a personal relationship with things, yes, even if they don't have a soul. Things are precious to me, especially when they mean so much for my life. And that laptop means a lot to me; I have done already so many things with it, and I pray that I won't stop here.

You know, probably from a materialistic point of view I shouldn't care about it. Afterall it is guaranteed, so assuming they can't fix it, they will give me a new one. However, it wouldn't be "it" again. It wouldn't be the same one I was so excited for when I first opened the package, and it wouldn't be the same one I held tight leaping up in the air for the excitement and the joy of the moment... I just hope it will get back, and that it will be Rudy, and not some other laptop. I want mine, I don't want anything different.

And I know I can't wait to have it back home with me. That's a paradox because it is still here, but I know that tomorrow we'll have to depart for at least a week, maybe two. I feel so depressed, and the only remedy is to get it back to work again. :(

Frustration

91% | 2

# 38712

I am here taking a break from studying, because I simply couldn't take it anymore. I feel so frustrated lately. My parents argue often, and there is really a bad tension here in the house, especially because I am taken in between most of the time, when in fact I wouldn't even want to be involved.

With so many things around me, I wonder, how do I study? How can I get ready for my exam and write my thesis at the same time? I feel very nervous, I am worried about not making it, and my professor doesn't help. Everytime I go there for the thesis, he always finds something that is not exactly okay, and wants me to change it, or add stuff or edit things. I am starting to be worried... I don't see the end of it anymore. I started it months ago, and I am still at the first chapter. Everytime it's me taking what I have written and he makes new corrections, and I already know that next time - once I've corrected what I was supposed to - he will find other things that need to be edited.

In the meanwhile I still have 4 books to read by the 20th of September. I only pray I can make it, because at least if I take my last exam now, then everything will be dedicated to my thesis and my thesis only. Maybe only in that way I will actually manage to finish it, and get my well deserved degree.

I have been two months in the USA on holiday, but now that I just got back I am already frustrated and would already need another holiday. Maybe there is something wrong with my head, I don't know. I just feel so nervous and then I tend to get upset at Neil for nothing because I feel so frustrated and my nerves are bulging underneath my skin.

And then this tension generates other tension; I aruge with Neil, and the day after I feel like shit and all I think about is him and how I feel bad for snapping at him or something. My prayer is that I can see the end of these 4 months, so that at least part of my problems will be solved with Neil coming here. I know that if I could feel more serene, other things would certainly be less important problems to face than what they look like now.

I just wish I could already see the end of the tunnel!

Thesis or non Thesis...

?% | 1

# 38348

So, from the title of the post you have probably understood that I am here to complain and/or brag a bit about my thesis. Since I have been talking about it quite a bit with various people lately, I feel like posting some more information here, so that everybody can share my unlucky destiny :P

I am at the moment juggling between studying for my final German literature exam (in which I have to read the worst books ever written) and the thesis for my graduation. The already mentioned thesis has as title "Orality structures of Ayi Kwei Armah's fiction". He is a Ghanaian author who writes about the corruption of the African society, which has been carried on by the whites during the colonization.

It is hard to write about this particular topic, because it seems that no one before has ever analyzed his fiction under this particular point of view, and for this reason it is giving me uncountable troubles. So far I have written 6 pages; the first chapter, however, was kind of easy, as it was an introduction on Africa and the colonial empire. In the second chapter, I am writing about the different important traits that are contained in the novels I am analyzing, and in the third chapter I will analyze (hopefully) the actual structures used by the author throughout the already cited books. Finally, the fourth and last chapter will be on the conclusions.

At the moment I feel like I am lost in the middle of the ocean, because I am really afraid that in the end I won't be able to write enough, and I will have to go back and add. That is really what I would hate the most, because I am really not good at adding pieces to something that I have already written; this is mainly because if I have previously decided that that would have been it, it meant that I don't have anymore to write about that particular topic. So being forced to write more will surely lead me nowhere.

Anyway, sorry for all these complaints, but I really needed to remove this thing from my chest. Now, if anyone has some kind of suggestions or any kind of supportive replies, please feel more than welcome to reply to this post of mine.

America America

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# 36905

So, as some of you already know, I am writing on Nao from a location different from Italy: South Carolina.
I arrived here 8 days ago, leaving from Turin, stopping in Rome and then finally landing in Atlanta after 10 hours and a half of flight.

Hawkeye came to pick me up at the airport, and then we drove about 2 more hours to get here in Anderson. One of my suitcases was lost, but we fortunately got it back right the day after (using the Delta lost and found service or something like that).

What can I say... hmm guys never ever fly from Europe to America using Alitalia or Delta. The flight over was kinda nasty: the food was even worse than normal, and guess what? If I wanted to get a beer or something alcoholic I had to pay 5 euros or 5 dollars! Isn't it crazy?! I mean, last time I flew with Lufthansa and they even asked me if I cared for a beer! (which was my favorite Beck's btw). This time they announced that if you wanted alcohol you had to pay for it. And I even paid something lik 900 euros for the plane tickets!

Other than that, the plane was old, they showed bad movies (like kids' movies) and the crew (who was supposed to speak also Italian, since afterall it was an Italian flight) was pretty ignorant of my language.

The good part is that there was a group of people sitting basically around me who were nice, and I could chat with them about this and that for a few hours. This helped me out with spending time and not get bored. It was a group of people who was participating to an organized trip in the USA. Supposedly they had to take another plane for Denver, but it seems that in the end they couldn't because they were all on a waiting list. I met them again at the airport after customs and they said that they had to stop there for the night.

Anyway, sorry if this post is kinda long... probably I bored the ones who have read it because it was written by me, eh? Well, I just wanted to let you guys know that I am fine, that everything here is great and that I am having a good time.

My poor self and the exams

91% | 2

# 36564

I am feeling very depressed lately, and tired too. Tomorrow I will be having the long dreaded Germanic philology exam, and I feel like I am not ready for it. I have been studying and studying for months, and still this stuff goes over my head.

My mom keeps saying to stay positive, and that maybe I will be lucky and he'll ask the things I know and not the ones I don't know. It's just that this guy is quite lunatic. Last time I went to hear some exams, and he was kinda nice; he didn't fail a girl who said that in old Germanic there weren't Os (in order to explain the passage from the indoeuropean o to the germanic a in a word). That girl was quite a disaster, yet she got a 24!

The time before that though, he didn't seem so nice. A girl who was in there must have said something really riduculous, and he started shouting and insulting her and threw away her university book. God I got so scared!! I don't know what I would do if he did something like that to me, but I can easily see that I would probably burst in tears.

In the meanwhile I am starting feeling the classical symptoms of the day before an exam: nausea, stomachaches, headaches, shivers, a general feeling of anxiety and most of all I have nightmares during the night or as during a nap that I might be taking in order to rest a bit.

The truth is that even if I can save myself with all those grammar rules and evne the more argumentative stuff about the history, I am in deep trouble when it comes to the translation. He made it in class; it is a part of the old saxon poem Heliand. We have to translate it from old saxon to Italian of course, and he made the translation in class... but hell it makes no sense! I tried and looked on the internet or at the library for something more decent than this, but I didn't find anything at all. Even a translation to old saxon to modern German would have done, because it would have surely been helpful in the points where I am not sure what it means, but nothing...

So what can I say... tomorrow if you have the bad luck of being away at 8:30 (+ 1 GMT) pray for me, because I will be there taking the exam. I just pray he doesn't ask me the translation. Sometimes he forgets about it, so all I can do is pray. Oh and also pray that I passed the German test :P tomorrow I will know the results. I would really love it if I had passed it even with the lowest grade, as that test, the grammar part in particular, was a real mess.

Anyway, I think I will get back with my nose inside my notes now, and hope for the best. Keep your fingers crossed, and tomorrow I will let you know how it went.


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