charlie's journal

So it's a beautiful day in sunny South Dakota, and I decide to go climbing a local rock formation. This rock formation is near a waterway, and could be fatal if you're not careful. Slippery rocks etc.

It's not far, so I decide to walk there. On the way I walk under an overpass. The fire and rescue is parked on the bridge above, and a few of them are in the river fetching the nearly dead body of a jumper.

"Hmmm, that's a bad omen", I think to myself. But it's been nearly three weeks since I've been outside, so I keep going.

I'm scurrying up a crevasse, and it happens. RRRiipp! And I have a nice tear in the croch of my pants. No problem. It's hidden enough. And I enjoy the ventilation. I just won't be doing any bending over anytime soon.

Eventually I make it up down one side and up the other. When I get to the top of the other side, I come to a guardrail. No problem. I jump it.

RRRRRiiippppp! I now have a tear that goes all the way up to my belt loop. Great. Now I'm going to get ticketed for indecent exposure.

So I take off my shirt, tuck it in the back of my pants, and try to casually walk the sixteen blocks back home.

So I was driving back home tonight, and I saw the guy ahead of me thrown an entire Taco John's bag (full of other Taco John's trash) out the driver's window of his Blazer. I was listening to Bob Marley and feeling particularly protestant. So I said "You bastard!" and flipped him off - thinking the driver would neither hear nor see me.

Immediately he hit the brakes, and I saw a very dark and angry man glaring at me through his side view mirror.

Although his littering did warrant a flip off and some obsinety, I didn't think this was the appropriate time to prove my point.

So I took three immediate lefts, two rights, and then took a very indirect route home.

SUVs don't turn sharply, but compact cars do. Thank God.

I heard it said again last night.

"I'm not ethnic, I'm white."

Of course it was the retort to:

"Hey girl, eat up. My ethnic meal is getting cold and I ain’t makin' another."

This one was fairly mild, but I hate the idea that we have no identity because we are Caucasian.

Do you ever hear this in Europe? I hope not.

It's such a cop-out. You don't have zero identity. What does you family do? Are they devoutly Catholic, Baptist, Charismatic, Atheist? (is Atheism a religion?) Are you from the East Coast and you know twenty ways to cook crab? Are you a Californian and you have this compulsion to avocados in everything? Is your father a work-a-holic and you hate watching yourself become like him?

Now it's true, some of us white kids have had no parents, no real meals, and nothing but the same crappy life we see everyday on MTV (or in Napoleon Dynamite).

We are missing two or three important components of ethnicity: food, family and quality time. But just because we do absolutely nothing doesn't mean we have no ethnic identity. We can still be unique, even if were born into the majority.

This post was edited by charlie on Jul 18, 2005.

So I went home for the 4th of July. I saw my parents, the old hometown, slept in my own bed, had a few meals that didn't come from a can.

While I was having one of these meals, my father asked, "So, are you still thinking about doing that Japan thing?"

The last time I was home, I said that I had to go, or I would live the rest of my life wondering about what could have happened. I guess he forgot that I said that.

There is this underlying tone at home. It says, "Where did you learn to live like this? Why are you always leaving to go somewhere new? This is not how normal people live." I still don't know if that is the voice of my parents or my own voice.

But where do you think I learned to live like this? Who changed careers three times causing five moves during my childhood? Who was always working, always taking summer courses, always busy sleeping through supper from exhaustion?

I grew up thinking having parents who were always busy with something was normal. I'm okay with it. I expect it. What else were you expecting me to do?

So I went to go pick up some meals in a can tonight. After I find my selections, I get in line at the checkout. I stand behind a middle-aged woman and her son - who is defiantly checking out Jessica Simpson on the cover of Cosmo. The people ahead of us are having problems with their debit card, and so the line grows behind us. The line starts to shift and get restless.

A black checker comes out, and opens another lane. Two Mexicans, a black man, and an Indian woman move to the other line. They were at the back of this line anyway. And the first line is left completely Caucasian. And for a second we stare at each other.

Is this just a coincidence?

Then we look ahead, pay for our groceries, and leave.

So I just moved to new town for my new job. I graduated from college this weekend, and I'll be doing database and application programming in a language called Progressive. Any body heard of it? I hadn't until I got this job.

I landed an apartment downtown, and I was walking around getting my bearings this Sunday. I went to a few free museums, etc.

I was walking in the general direction of a cathedral tower (trying to find the cathedral) when I saw a beautiful woman in a very nice black dress exit a large marble building. She got into a car and drove away.

I tried the door she had come out of. It was unlocked and led to a very nice lounge. There was a sign "Balcony stairs". So in my curiosity, I went up to the balcony. It was very dark, I couldn't even see the seats. But there was a string quartet playing on stage, so I sat down and listened for half an hour.

At the end of the movement, the musicians got up and exited the stage. Then there was enormous applause. The musicians came out for a return bow. The violinist announced, "Thank you. Thank you. We appreciate your continued support of the arts and this orchestra, and we hope to see you again next week when we perform..."

The lights turned on. I was in a balcony with many senior citizens - all of whom were dressed in suit coats, sparkling dress, etc. etc. Noticing that this event was not free – I was not dressed appropriately. I quickly exited the balcony the way I came. I had seen so many other free things that day, I just assumed that the concert was open to the public as well.

Hopefully my residence in this city will lead to more interesting adventures.