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Some news on my new cell phone (also see the thread about NAO Meeting 16 - 18 of Janury 2004 for more info):
it is now registered and waiting for activation, which will happen in 2-3 hours. at least thats what the support hotline says.
This post was edited by ginsterbusch on Jan 14, 2004.
As several people have kept asking me (probably because they're NOT able to understand german) about my nickname, so there's one final and simple statement about this:
It's a everyday person's name - like 'Smith' or 'Hale' is in English countries. It also is the name of a bush (ie. the plant, not the president!): Babelfish translates it as 'broom shrubs'. AFAIK it's a kind of bush able to live on places with very low resources (eg. Tundra, etc.).
and of course, the name just did stick on my mind - nobody would choose such a real life person's name as a nickname, eh? ;)
dead simple, aint it?
ps: an image search on Google reveals this.
This post was edited by ginsterbusch on Dec 23, 2003.
.. erm no.
THIS sucks (copy + paste right out of here):
[17.12.2003] WIshlist for Christmas
I wish my mother would die. I really do. There's too much hatred between us.
She, who does change everything I say into her own truth, ALWAYS making me look stupid, always mixing up things together WHO simply CANNOT be mixed together, and making up out of all of this her own tiny, totally irrealistic world. Of course, she is ALWAYS right, anybody else is just stupid/doesnt know enought/psychotic and has to go to a therapist.
And of course, it's totally correct and HER absolute birthright to say the worst words to her children, cursing them, and then afterwards, after coming down, acting as if NOTHING AT ALL did happen - not saying she was sorry that she said those word, NEVER EVER!
My current theory is: if there's no-one else there she can let her frustrations out, it's just sombody like me walking by she gonna hit with her anger - well, it would DO help a lot if she woudl, even with only the faintest hint, admit it. But NO, we are ALWAYS Mrs. Right-All-Others-Are-Wrong X-(
I've told this everybody who is part of my nearer family - and they even didnt believe me till two or three years ago, wehn even THESE people finally realized my mother seems to be kind of a psychopatic monster...
... if it was about therapy, I would be VERY glad to help her - but she never ever went to a therapist - even when my father once tried out this family therapy-thingy after he did marry again, especially for his new wife and stepdaughter - still, my mother of course had NO problems and therapy is for mentally-ill people only ... sure. Only people who need serious help would go to a therapist on their own free will, yeah, certainly. }:->
God, I just cant fucking stand this woman anymore - I cant believe she really is my natural mother! One who would leave her brain at the kitchen sink to make everyone get angry or plainly disappointed and frustrated about her.
I simply dont know what to do anymore - I've fought this terrible, brain-dead, sickening "discussions" out with her since I first decided to come more often to her home, which is a bit more to Munich, than my father's house is (WAY more). Thats about 4, 5 years or so now. And I dont see any kind of way to get out of this worsening situation in the next 2-3 months! 8-o
So what did happen this time: today she told me I HAD to ask the boss of the company I work for/do a practical training whenever he would want to make a education contract (Ausbildungsvertrag) with me - whilst I neither was in the mood of talking about this nor did she know ANYTHIGN about whats going on ... and then, all in a sudden, it was once again all about her, NOT me - I told her then (first politely, later more rude) that I didnt want to speak to her anymore about such things, because she always is in the mood of argueing about such things, of course because she knows it all better, has more experience, blablablacrapshitbla...
I didnt tell her the real thing - that I came late for about 2-3 weeks - and the folks at the company gave me a last chance to solve this problem by longing my practical training for one month (till end of january), because I know her too well: she would say she KNEW IT before, make me all look bad, and then I of course would react worse, getting steaming of hot red anger, etc. etc. Its allways this way, so I didnt start with this - I'Ve tried many times, but I nowadays cant trust her anymore: one time, she is calm and tries to help, next time, she acts neurotic or even psychotic about ANYTHING - so its no use. I simply aint got the power anymore to fight this .. sorry, but I'm nobody's punching-ball.
cu all, w0lf.
Some nice additions are on stack / in work for my DIY journaling system:
- XML-based filebase (well, thats just some seperate addition)
- XML 1.0-based comment system (now, THATS some useful add-in i'd, even correctly with all the DTD-mambojambo :D
- when i've reached the "integration of RSS"-part (RSSifx_TNG), I'll do an overhaul/beautifying of the whole source code and put it out into Public (either under the LGPL or CC-license)
thats it for now (I'm hacking this text on a notebook W/O a good keyboard!)
This post was edited by ginsterbusch on Dec 10, 2003.
So this is some short update in my journal at NAO about my online journal on AlltagsGrauen.de ;)
Till now, not only the domain has been handed over to my standard ISP (aka myself ;)), but also i've updated the page navigation/display system, replacing it with a written-from-the-scratch page navigation system I wrote for a commercial product at Firmenpunkt, where I work now/attend a practical training ;)
Morgaina, as I named the system, is now also offering some pseudo-html formatting options, so one who doesnt know HTML well or simply wants to use a faster attempt on HTML will also be able to write well-formatted entries.
Next I gonna do the comment system, which will be entirely file/flat db-based, like the rest of the system, too, and afterwards there'll be even some RSS feeds, first only for the Journal/Online diary system, but later also including my XMB Forum-based message board. ;)
Sooner or later all of this of course will be overhauled once again, bundled with some HTML manual and put out on Open Source - so anybody will be able to set-up an entirely NON-db based journal system like mine ;)
btw: Jaz, there seems to be some bug when using this textarea field using Avant Browser 8.02 build 112 (based on IE 6) - it's not correctly displayed (see here).
This post was edited by ginsterbusch on Nov 13, 2003.
Just some personal update:
first, i never again gonna write SO fucking HUGE personal and private information on here as I did before under some other circumstances, as I found out it partly worked out bad (or to (almost) quote null: "one cannot have the ultimate forum environment, where you can post any and everything").
second, Göppingen and my study is history - "training" (wrong word thanks to babelfish, "education" would be better) as a so-called "Fachinformatiker, Anwendungsentwicklung (IHK)" is in the work, and a new flat or a "Group house" (babelfish once again, i'm sorry) will be also the next other step, just after i've been gettin clear about the working/edu-situation.
third, and last: so i'm back to Bavaria once again - nice mountains, bad Löwenbräu beer, even worse allergics thanks to Munich and it's very special local weather, my stuff of course movin and my new domain temporarely called AlltagsGrauen.ORG - the domain of the same name but with a .de-TLD gonna move soon over there, too.
those, who know, may be enlightened - and those, who dont, may do some researches.
This post was edited by ginsterbusch on Oct 10, 2003.