hells_angel's journal

It's strange how things have been going on around here. I think everyone is antsy about going home on Wednesday. I can't blame them. I just have to figure out how I am gonna go home on Wed, because I have to be out of here by 10p.m. and my mom doesn't get off work until 11. I'll figure out something. Why didn't I just go to class on Friday then I wouldn't have to worry about it? Oh well. It's done and over with.

Ken's girlfriend talked to me the other day. I was in shock and disbelief because I figured since she hangs out with my ex-roommate she wouldn't have anything to say to me. I know when we first met I sized her up. I figured she was a nice girl, I just felt bad for her because she is hanging out with my ex-roommate.

This song reminds me of my friend Dre because no matter what happens I know he is only one call away.

Ooh, yea yea
DTP, how we do
Call you and you can call me
Whatever you wanna do baby

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away
(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my lady)
I'm always one call away

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away
(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my lady)
I'm always one call away

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away
(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my lady)
I'm always one call away

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away
(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my lady)
I'm always one call away

It was weird how we met, huh
She was wit her mom in Bank America
I'm wit my son cashin the check
So I asked outta respect (uh)
Would she like to explore the world up high
We can fly in my jet
Her reply was "Yes, can I ask you somethin'?"
I seen it in her eye, mama lookin like all I wanted was sex
Then moved to the next (that ain't true) but it was something
about this girl's style that make me feel no regrets
We started off casual; walks through the park
Candle light dinners by dark, I'm thinkin smart (smart)
Afraid she might think I'm in a rush
To touch, crush and be up, but baby I ain't on that stuff
Dropped her off and told her call me up, we can talk
Conversate about political subjects whatever's sparks
So I zoomed off, lookin by and my phone rang
It was her in the shower, (she said) she said "I couldn't do without ya"
Then I said. . .

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away

The next day I'm with the fellas at the cage playing ball
Here she comes wit her friends they posted up on the wall
Now I'm showing out, trynta dunk trynta dribble break fast
Through the middle just to see her smile and giggle
Game over I approched her wit a kiss on the cheek
The homeboys lookin at me sayin "Lil Howard you weak"
But you know how that go, what I got they want
What I got I flaunt, never mess wit it, please don't
Told her "I'm going home" she asked can she go too
I'm like "Yeah boo, I can't see me without you"
Got thurr, I took a shower jumped out she in the bed
With a see-through thong said I looked at her and said. . .

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away

Girl recognize game, before game recognize you
You're dealin wit a player, true
Now whatchu wanna do?
We can kick it and go puff on a bluuunt
Oh you don't smoke? Grab a pint of Hen' then we can get druuunk
It's up to you, I'm the man but baby just let me know
Cuz if you got an attitude I could treat you just like a hoe
Get to rollin wit me baby, hop in there's enough room
We can gaze at the stars that shine like the moon
Gimme a chance to show ya, and a chance to know ya
Just be true, and there's nothing I won't do, for ya
Some women like to play it foul (foul)
But them the kind I put in the place of a child (child)
Don't worry be happy and smile and. . .

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away

(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away
(You, could, roll, wit, me)
Gimme a call if you wanna come roll with me
(If you was my baby)
I'm always one call away

Today I'm just feeling numb and I think something isn't quite right here. I'll read more into it later.

Numb- Linkin Park

I'm tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless
Lost under the surface
I don't know what you're expecting of me
Put under the pressure
Of walking in your shoes

[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
Every step that I take is another mistake to you

I've
Become so numb
I can't feel you there
Become so tired
So much more aware
I'm becoming this
All I want to do
Is be more like me
And be less like you

Can't you see that you're smothering me
Holding too tightly
Afraid to lose control
'Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart right in front of you

[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
Every step that I take is
Another mistake to you
[Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow]
And every second I waste
Is more than I can take

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

I used to talk to this girl Hailey, online. She was respected by everybody that I know because she was smart, she had advice to give, and she had experience.

Hailey was unique in a good way. She was cool as hell. I miss her. She was someone you could talk to about anything. She always had an answer. I miss her.

We weren't the best of friends but still she was a remarkable person. I just dont know what I can say about her.

Nothing interesting went on today. Then again, I kept on waking up every couple of hours. Sara is getting on my nerves lately. All she ever talks about is Dustin this and Dustin that. The thing is she likes him, but she wont talk to him. She'll call him and she wont say anything to him. She has no idea how damn tempted I am to just go up to Dustin and tell him he has a stalker. I know Dustin. And I swear she should just fucking tell him.

She calls him, then she wont say anything. She sees him but she won't say hi. It's irritatting. She says he's so cute and what not. Believe me I have seen better.

Then again this is coming from a girl who thinks Lil' Jon is cute. That's just gross.

I'll tell you who'se cute and then some.

My List of Rappers and Musicians:

Usher
Eminem
Genuwine
Cassidy
R. Kelly
Ludacris
Chingy

50 would be aight but his face aint cute..unless you put a bag over his head or something.

My List of Guys that are cute:

Bill
Rob
Jamarl
Tyrell
Gary

I did it. I finally told Dre what I couldn't tell him for a while now. I told him I considered myself lucky because I have him as a friend.

If you have a bunch of friends, it's nice, but if you have one good friend who is gonna be there through thick and thin, no matter what happens, you have something special and you should consider yourself lucky.

Of course I'll never tell Dre that I love him because he knows that I do. I don't love him the way that I thought I loved him. I love him more as a friend. He is some what like a brother to me, but he's not. In a way I'm glad he's not my brother cuz then I wouldnt be able to think he is cute.