kaizley's journal

The Angels Call Me Home

70% | 2

# 24369

The wind blows silently
the trees, they whisper names
the cold, wet ground cradles
my body, in the rain

the warm sea beckons
the freezing air turns warm
i hear the angels calling
wanting me to come home

no sad looks on their faces
no tears drop from their eyes
nobody seems to notice
they've only told me lies

their words bite hard with fury
but burning stares don't burn
they never seem to care for me
so why do they just turn

they turn to see if i'm alright
to see if i'm still there
but still the angels call me
they call, so all is fair

as i leave my body
the people look in fear
they see that life is fading fast
and that my end is near

at home the world is new again
like nothing was ever wrong
that's why the angels call me
wanting me to come home

This post was edited by kaizley on Jul 13, 2004.

As Requested

93% | 3

# 24364

This is definitly not everybody's cup of tea, so i am suggesting that you think long and hard about whether or not you want to read it, it could be extremely upsetting, offensive, or just bad to some of you... but please don't yell at me if i get things wrong, or offend any of you. thanks.

it's a little incompleted, so much patience is required if more reading would like to happen, but if you don't think it's worth continuing, i won't bother, because i have a lot of other shit to be wasting my time on.

Stopping herself before it happens again, she gets up off her knees and walks towards the mirror. The taste of vomit still lingers in her mouth as she stares deeply into her reflection. Carefully surveying every line and crease that has nestled into her skin. More tears begin to well in her eyes and the salty water trickles down her bright red cheek. Taking a deep breath in she slowly walks to the bathroom door, turns the knob and makes a run as fast as she can before anyone could question her. Her younger brother watches as she slams her bedroom door behind her, totally oblivious to anything being wrong, he steps into the bathroom. The smell of stale food almost knocks him of his feet, but he closes the door behind him anyway.

Her bedroom was dark, the early morning sunlight being blocked by heavy tweed curtains. She sat on her bed and rocked to the beat of her thoughts. Gradually the rocking became more and more violentÖ then a knock on the door. The rocking automatically stopped, like someone had flicked the switch.

A Night On The Town

91% | 2

# 24290

Ok... not really ON THE TOWN, but out of my house, in somebody else's house. in a general sense, the night was great, we all dressed up in sexy clothes, listened to great music, ate great food, and sat around making a great amount of noise. this would have been like the usual party scene you would expect from my friends. but for me, it was a little more like a game of hide and seek as well, with a particualr someone who i am having a bit of a hard time with at the moment.

niether of us would dare speak a word to each other, occasionally stealing a glance, but then getting on with our own whatever. sometimes, we wouldn't even be able to stand in the same room together, quickly moving away, trying not to be seen. four hours of this can get extremely tiring and even a little upsetting. upsetting in the sense that you wouldn't want this to go on all the time and that this 'silent treatment' seems to be coming from both parties and is probably equally unwanted, but it's happening, and we're both just chicken.

luckily though, nobody else actually noticed our 'game' durign the night, getting on with their partying like no tomorrow, which is great, i don't think it would have been fair if we had dragged other people into our little 'game'.

our game of cat and mouse did not end there! oh no, definatley not! it only got worse when a wonderful song by Franz Ferdinand came on... Auf Asche, in which the lyrics go...

You see her, you can't touch her
You hear her, you can't hold her
You want her, you can't have her
You want to, but she won't let you
You see her, you can't touch her
You hear her, you can't hold her
You want her, you can't have her
You want to, but she won't let you

this was HIGHLY unappropriate, as this is pretty much what is happening between us at the moment... i think. and yes, we were practically alone... in a room... together. sitting at the same table, less than 2 metres away from each other, of course there was no eye contact,no words, no nothing. just.... nothing.

This post was edited by kaizley on Jul 11, 2004.


74% | 3

# 24268



We are in a room at a nursing home. Upstage, there is a bed, two armchairs and a table. On the table there is an unopened bottle of wine, a wine glass and the pink thing. Downstage is bare. All the stage lights are up. Lily is sitting in one of the armchairs staring into space. She is mumbling some nonsense to herself)

LILY I donít think the beef was too dry... no... But the water was good. It wasnít too dusty. The weather hasnít been too dusty either. A happy medium... yes... not too hot... not to cold, it was Ė

Nurse knocks on the door, and enters. She is holding a pot of soup with the ladle in it and a bowl.

NURSE Lunchtime Lily. Want some tomato soup? Itís something a little different today.

Lily looks at the nurse as she starts to spoon the soup into the bowl.

LILY Yes... tomato soup would be nice... for a change. I used to have tomato soup everyday as a child. I couldnít get enough of it.

NURSE Ahh... well this isnít your everyday, 20 year old soup maíam. This is your fabulous, one of a kind, fresh (mumbles something)

LILY (intrigued) What was that?

NURSE Itís just canned soup maíam... fresh out of the can.

Nurse has finished putting soup into the bowl and has handed it over to Lily. Lily looks at the soup, slightly disappointed, but quickly gets over it. Lily begins to eat her soup while the nurse looks around the room. There is a short, awkward silence. The nurse notices the wine on the table and pauses a moment before asking:

NURSE You wouldnít mind if I had a bit of wine would you?

LILY No, not at all, Iím not going to be having it any time soon. I donít care much for wine. My son Mav brought it back from France. It must have cost him a fortune.

Nurse hesitates before busting it open and pouring herself a full glass.

NURSE Ahh... France. Iíve had some of the best wine in France. Spent a month there with my husband Jim. We stayed in a nice little vineyard in the country. Ahh those were the days, just Jim and me, getting pissed everyday. HA! Five bottles a day! Couldnít get enough of the stuff... those were the days.

LILY FIVE bottles a day did you say?

The Nurse nods with a chuckle.

I donít care that much for wine. Oh... but France... I love France. My first ever performance was in France... yes... we knocked the crowd dead, Maverick, Skye and I. Maverick my piano player... he was like my best friend... he called me Tigerlily... They all called my Tigerlily.

Lights go down.


A spotlight comes up downstage, where none of the furniture is seen. A piano starts playing softly in the background. It gets louder as Tigerlily steps into the spotlight. She is wearing the shiny dress. Lily looks out at the Ďsea of peopleí and opens her mouth like she is about to sing. The music starts to soften as Skye walks into the spotlight, behind Tigerlily. Tigerlily closes her mouth.

SKYE Yaí know Tigerlily, youíre gonna make it big someday. Youíre gonna make it big, and youíre gonna be great at it. Guess what Tigerlily... someday is gonna come soon... real soon... next week babe, youíre gonna make it. WEíRE gonna make it. Weíre a team Lil, you and me... Weíre a great team.

Lily smiles. They slowly walk backwards, out of the spotlight. Lights go down.


The stage lights go back up and the women are sitting in the armchairs again. The nurse is now a little tipsy.

LILY That was one of the greatest days of my life. The day I had my first real gig. I was rehearsing for a small concert in a local hall. It was near a school... yes... the school my son Mav went to actually Ė

Maverick enters in rugby gear. The nurse is still drinking in the other armchair. Lily is quietly going over what had happened in the past. The nurse, who is now getting heavily intoxicated, has too started to mumble. Lily notices her son at the door.

LILY Oh! Hello Mav! How was your football game?

MAVERICK Yeah... it was good... we won.

Mav notices the nurse slumped over in the other armchair.

What happened to her?

LILY Oh... she just had a bit of that French wine you brought back for me.

Mav pauses for a second.

MAVERICK The wine I brought back for you?

LILY Yes that wine you brought back from France. The really expensive stuff, you remember. Must have cost you a fortune.

MAVERICK The nurse is drinking the really expensive wine I brought back for you from France?

LILY Yes Mav, stop being so thick! Thatís what I said. Now let me get back to my story.

MAVERICK What story?

The stage lights go down.


The spotlight comes up. The piano starts playing softly and gets louder as Tigerlily walks out into the spotlight. Tigerlily gets ready to sing as Skye walks in behind her.

SKYE Right Lil, you know what youíre gonna do? Youíre gonna knock theyíre socks off... no, not only that, youíre gonna knock them dead. You hear me? KNOCK THEM DEAD! I have faith in you Tigerlily.

Skye moves back to the edge of the spotlight. Tigerlily once again opens her mouth to sing. We hear an audience clapping and cheering. The lights go down.


The stage lights go back up and the women are once again sitting in their armchairs. And Maverick is sitting on the bed.

LILY That was my first real performance ever. I really did knock them dead that night. Skye would have been proud. She disappeared after that night... I had to go find a new manager.

NURSE HAHA! Maybe you knocked HER dead!

The nurse is now in hysterics, but tries to control it by keeping her voice down. She takes another big gulp of wine and pours some more into the glass. Mav and Lily are trying to ignore the drunken nurse. Mav is looking at his mother, confused.

MAVERICK (to his mother) Mum... none of that stuff ever happened.

LILY What are you talking about Mav? Of course it happened!

Mav looks at his mother in disbelief. The nurse notices the small signs of conflict and tries to stand up to play Ďmediatorí but she canít. She keeps trying while Lily and Mav argue.

Of course itís true Mav. Didnít I ever tell you your Ďdaggyí old mother was as famous as... as...

MAVERICK No mum! You never told me you were famous. Thatís because you werenít. Donít you think I would have heard about it if you were?

LILY Iím sure I Ė

MAVERICK No mum! You didnít! You know why you didnít? Because you were never famous, get out of your little fantasy world. You were NEVER Tigerlily.

Mav storms out of the room. The nurse watches as he slams the door. Lily looks as though she is on the verge of tears.

NURSE Whoa... He needs a bit of a nap doesnít he! Aww... but isnít he a little cutie when heís angry. Reminds me a lot of my Jim...

A short silence, then the Nurse looks at Lily and notices that she is about to cry.

Some nerve that kid has treating his mother that way. I donít think I would tolerate it if my son did that to me! Not that I have a son... Jim never wanted kids. I think Iím glad I listened to him. HA! I donít think I want a kid after the way that little brat treated you.

Lily is staring into space. There is a longer silence.

So... what really happened?

The lights go down.


Spotlight comes up. Tigerlily is in the spotlight. The piano is playing loudly and energetically. Tigerlily gets ready to sing. This time she does sing. She gets through a verse or two when the piano player suddenly stops. Tigerlily looks confused and takes a couple of steps back. Maverick (as the piano player) comes into the spotlight. Lily looks at him.

Whatís going on?

MAVERICK Why are we doing this?

LILY Doing what?

MAVERICK Why are we playing in front of an empty hall?

LILY We need to rehearse.

Rehearse? Rehearse for what? Who are we performing for?


Exactly! No one! We arenít performing for anyone! You donít even have a manager.

LILY But... the Ė

MAVERICK What?! The audience isnít coming. Not today, not tomorrow, and no, not next week either. Not ever! Whatís the point? There isnít an audience, there never was and by the sounds of it, there never will be.

Mav storms off the stage. Lily is left alone for a second in the spotlight. She sings the last line of her song (appropriate for the mood?) She looks at her feet. Behind her, there is uproar of cheering and clapping and the lights go down.


This post was edited by kaizley on Jul 10, 2004.

Big Brother

92% | 2

# 24266

Don't you worry, this isn't a rant ENTIRELY about big brother, although big brother did inspire this train of thought.

i was watching the show one day, and i was noticing that these people are like hamsters, trapped in a cage, as i may have mentioned before. this then led to a little "excursion" (if you could call it that) to a little country town in the outback for three weeks. we had to live in a cabin with a bunch of people (preferrably friends) we had a budget, and little bits and pieces of work that we had to complete, and lots of free time (for doing the work we were supposed to). this little out back town was a good 16 hours away from our home, there was hardly any communication, because phone calls would have been madingly expensive... but there was the use of laptops, and trusty old MSN. the king of all communication. i was spilt up from most of my friends for this trip, as most of them went in the first group, and only 4 or 5 of us went in the second group (my group of friends is pretty big). so i didn't see the majority of my friends for more than a month, which was a bit sad.

anyway, big brother reminded me of all the adventures and stuff that i had experienced outback, as it was basically a bunch of people, who are stuck in a small, remote area, who have to learn to look after themselves, this did often proove to be a bit difficult, because we were still only 14 and EXTREMELY irresponsible.

i thought about the fights that my cabin had had in our 3 weeks, and i then started to think about how nice it would be to live with all of my friends in a house, much like big brother, without the cameras. but wait... that wouldn't work! i started to wonder how long it would take for all of my friends to start bashing the piss out of each other, bitching, screaming, crying, yelling, grumping, sulking, slapping, punching, and maybe even.. releasing a little sexual frustration. (we can get a bit like this after a few drinks at a party)

i think that this should be great for a little television, and it would seriously be reality, as thats how my friends are... or can get at times. there is always at least one fight, or disagreement going on in my group, who can explain it? we're all a little eccentric and fairly opinionated, put a whole lot of us together and you get the biggest bitch-fest, power-tripping, big-headeding, violent, sexual, angsty, dramatic reality television show you could ever imagine, and best of all, we could even get a little cash out of it. hehe.

Think About This...

?% | 1

# 24257

"It seems, all I knew as real was only in my dreams"

it sounded more impressive while it was running through my head... anywho!

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