kaizley's journal

Changing your life at the drop of a hat
A whole different person, just like that
Don't care 'bout things we talk about
But pretend you do, so you're not left out

Do people's opinions matter that much?
Will your interests change when we loose touch?
I don't think others would make a big fuss
So just be yourself, and not one of us

I don't think it's very healthy to go around and change what you like because someone tells you that you have to so they will like you. It all fits is with the whole peer pressure thing. I am noticing a little bit of this peer pressure thing... Although, is it peer pressure if someone does it without really being pressured?

This one particular "someone a rather" seems to be pretending that they like something in particular to make another "someone in particular" like them, in probably a more than friends way *grumble*.

Anyhow, this "someone in particular" likes this other particular show, and the other "someone a rather" (who I'm pretty sure has never seen the show, as they had a whinge when I went to watch the show) is pretending that they too love this show. They also like "someone in particular"'s favourite bands, food, etc. "Someone a rather" even starts talking like "someone in particular"!

I know this, because they had done exactly the same thing to me. and now that I look back, I realise that I know diddly-squat about "someone a rather", yet "someone a rather" knows a fair bit about me.

I know that I am to tell "someone a rather" why I am upset or something, yet I am not untitled to know why they are upset of something.

This person copying thing is really starting to annoy me. Just for the simple fact that everything this "someone a rather" does, or says annoys me, AND because it's stupid to try and be someone else to try and get them to like you!!! If they are going to like you for anything, it would be for being yourself!!

My friends got really pissed off when I tried to be something that wasn't really me but was gaining me a lot of wanted attention... So I stopped, and they still love me... probably even more.

I admit.. sometimes I am a bit of a sheep, but I usually don't care what they think of me. As long as they don't hate me, everything is fine. And they don't hate me, because I am me and there is nothing that can change that! so NYAH!

This post was edited by kaizley on Aug 02, 2004.

As the yearly exams creep up, even closer, i find myself even less willing to do any work. I am starting to shake from the fear of failure. I don't want to fail, but I don't want to work either. I have to find a way to get my brain cells clicking and actually putting pieces of information together.

Sure, I find wonderful little IB help sites, but what does that do?! absolutely nothing.

Who really cares that Stalin took over Lenins place, and put in collectivisation, and killed millions of people. Who cares if Mao liked Stalin's ideas and tried to do the same thing in China, but ruined China as well. Who cares that Mao tried to win the power from the people byswimming in some river, and that he made the young people try and ruin every old tradition China held....

Who cares about prokaryotics and eucaryotics, and trophic levels of a food chain, mutations, genetically modified organisms, ecosystems, membranes, osmosis, diffusion....

Who cares about Hedda Gabler, Death and the Maiden, Hamlet, Antigone, Donne, Eliot and written commentarys....

Who cares about... 3D trigonometry, straight line graphs, parabolas, statistics...

Who cares about drama... ( i don't even know what I'm supposed to be studying?!)

Che le cure delle congregazioni italiane, l'ortografia, i verbi, la struttura di frase, il vocabolario, come dire "io può va per favore alla stanza da bagno". e che si preoccupa se la traduzione non è corretta in qualunque forma, qualunque maniera o qualunque forma!

I know, you're probably saying that i should be using all my energy on studying, instead of ranting.. the thing is.. i would be IF I UNDERSTOOD ANY OF IT!!

*goes and sobs in the corner*

Hmm... this does not seem to be an original idea by me, it seems i had thought about it earlier...

As she slept in her cosy bed,
She heard voices in her dreams
Telling her the worlds would end
As it is not how it seems
Very slowly she awoke
From her reoccuring dream

That was written a while ago... a long long while ago... interesting isn't it... good ideas never go away...

No... no... I'm not going to shoot or stab, or hurt anyone in any violent fashion. I'm past all of that. Today was relatively uneventful, no complaints there... I mean usually an eventful day would mean something bad happening, but today was pretty fun filled and not horrible, besides a few tears here and there (not from my eyes, or anything that was inflicted by me). I used a few of my creative juices, instead of doing some much needed studying for my yearlies in two weeks.

Rain poured down on the empty street
The grey skies letting go
Rain beating to a steady beat,
The gutters start to flow

The rain burns his dirt stained skin
But leave his bones to dry
Suffering ends within a sin
Left out there to die

*cough* not my best... but it's what I do in public, for other people..

can't let this get to me
the voices in my head.
need to rid of memory
those evil words you said.

the thing that you will never claim
the thing that you will always blame
the thing will never be the same
my small, dead, bleeding heart.

Hehe... Sounds like Dr. Suess. :P

*sigh*

Hmm... poetry and song lyrics seem to be the theme of the night.. after an exciting bout of reality television, i have decided to take it into me initiative to write a little more poetry for your viewing please. Please keep in mind that this is completely off the top of my head, and I have a little proposal, love poetry in my head at the moment.. Aww... How sweeet! *sniff* *tear*

That thing so sweet that you call love
Has never been so strong

That thing so sweet that you call love
Is told within my song

I soooo could have done a whole lot better than that!

This post was edited by kaizley on Jul 26, 2004.