lightyears's journal

Hi freinds
we need prayers
my freinds and i are beimg blackmailed
this guy joseph has tryed to get me to kill my self i ended up in hospital becouse of him
he wont let my freinds see me
he keeps threatning to rape me and kill me
he sais fancys me, i told him to get lost, he said he will never leave me alone
i hope all his teath fall out exept for one and may that one hurt him
he has foirbiden me to liten to music but blackmail or no blackmail i will never stop listning to music never

Hi every one
if any of you remember not to far back, i am a jewish zionist activist, well now i have got my self into trouble, i have a black muslim boy friend, who whants to marry me, mum obviouslly has flipped, she fights with me all the time, she tells me im a traitor, she also makes extreamlly racist comments about him
as we say in hebrew ma lasot(what to do????????????????????????????????/
Me i just whant to run away from everything and everyone
if mum gets her way my boy friend suffers if he gets his way mum suffers, i dont whant to hurt either so i geus i get hurt either way

Bi every one
i just dont understand people
in my faith we are tought to see g-d in every individual
i gues we all fail in that some times, but honestly if your skin is a diffrent colour does it really make that much diffrence, i mean, tell me, shall we persicute all people who have long fingures or big ears, or the rong shaped head, its ridiculas, and now we have another habit, we all seee each other as walking ideologys, is there really no posibility of people just being good people, at the end of the day every one lets you down anyway
the world is sick disgusting, i wish i wasnt in it

I am misrable
i look after my mum who is sick (man plans and g-d laughs)
i thought i would do something nice for her so i took her shopping in the busy london capital
for some reason she thought it would be realy very amusing to not bother following me (she rides on her scooter) i turn around and shes gone, there i was in the midle of one of the busyest streets freezing to death searching for mum.
In the end i had to phone the police, they took the details then we set of in opposit directions to look for her.
I found her in the end in one of the malls
im tired of being the carer, im tierd of every thing going wrong
im just tired
what makes things worse is im not well my self, im not eating properly im not sleeping proplly
every thing just seems so overwhelming