majic's journal

My writing has been extremely stagnant of late. This next piece is about to show just exactly how stagnant it's been... =)

Back to my life, I go
Which was right around the corner
I put it on a shelf in the closet
for a year
I thought it would be safer there
I figured sacrifice could make me a man
let me learn just what I had
take away the comfort and the same, same
and you realize just what you have
how precious the mundane becomes
what was comfort yesterday wells up in your eyes
and trembles in your stomach
focusing on that new life was hard
hard to forget what I thought of yesterday as comfort
but what I realize today was love
it was far too easy to take life for granted
far too easy to get into a comfort zone
It's a much harder thing to realize --
the people we have in our lives, until they are gone
But my old life is right around the corner
on the shelf right where I put it
a year ago
I'm about to go get it and take away that comfort
No more taking things for granted
No more comfort zone
The "I Love You's" mean something
And I'm about to show my family just what they mean!

It's official, I have a plane ticket out of Seoul, South Korea. I leave for good September 17th, 2004. I'm off to Hawaii again until October 15th and then on to the good old USA after being away for 1 full year. I cannot express into words what it feels like to actually be going home. I am so excited and on the other hand a little scared of the future.

Life is about to get just a little tougher for me. I'm heading off to the 82nd Airborne Division back at my home post at Fort Bragg, North Carolina. I have been enjoying 5 good long years in Special Ops and now I'm going to the conventional Army. Life is going to change and with it will be alot of heartache. I could end up in Iraq or Afghanistan or GOD knows where away from my wife and daughter again. Lord knows I hope that I can stay home and be with them for more than a month a year.

So the Seoul, South Korea chapter of my live is coming to a close and all I have to say is FUCK it was a good year. Sure I spent it away from my family for 11 months but I spent the best goddamn 32 days in Hawaii of my life back in April - May. That was a vacation that you only get once in a lifetime. Lucky me because I get to do it all over again in a few short weeks. Sacrificing is good for your character and I feel extremely good that I gave a year of my time to my country. It makes this life so much more worth living.

So with this chapter coming to a close a new one shall begin. Where will I start? What will I do? How will I handle the changes? There are alot of challenges in the road ahead and it will take a strong mind and body to make it through. Give me just one chance and I'll make you proud!

One thing is for sure. I will continue writing my book which is already 9 months in the making. I am no sooner to having a visible draft than when I started. Which kinda sucks but you cannot rush some things.

=)

I've withdrawn myself this night to ponder about the universe, to listen to the sound of the air around me and to melt into my surroundings. I've given my brain a single rest to rejuvenate it's strength, so that tomorrow I can master myself again.

These words and I play a curious game
we tug at each other constantly, and try to have our way
I want for them to settle down
they want to run out and play
I try to capture them, if I'm able
they want to wrestle round my kitchen table
I've tried to cut a deal
for them to sit upon my page
they never have it
seem to leave in a stomping rage
so I sit here as if by force of habit
and plead for what I might say
please dear words, sit here today
let the glorious readers admire your way

This post was edited by majic on Jul 29, 2004.

Somedays are just plain cynical. Somedays I am extremely critical of everything and the "F" word is my adjective for everything.

Today is one of those days.

I have a sick feeling inside
the symptoms of a heart full of ache
I'm physically done with being away
an ambassador of freedom for christs sake

fuck it, this is crap
I could just throw a fit
give me another drink so I can rid myself
of all this stupid shit

Love me... =|

If you come to South Korea than you have to experience soju. It's a wild trip into a reality that is seldom seen. A tripping medly of imagination and wild fascination. Lets drink and be merry..

four bottles of soju
one twelve pack of diet coke
and a hunger to get myself
as far away as possible

fuck, shit, goddamn
piss, bitch, I am
just a little fucked in the head
Oh god I wish I was dead

This is my little personal party after the 24 hour litkicks.com poetry party. Yeah call me crazy, but I'm having a damn good time! =)

As a caveat soju is very similar to vodka and is extremely cheap. Around $1 US Dollar a bottle.

Well, I've done quite a bit of writing over the last 7 months. I've decided to write a book and take all the poems I've written and make a compilation. There will be all the stuff I've posted here and quite a bit of new material. I am using Open Office to produce the book. I haven't yet figured out all the details but it should be quite an interesting endeavor. The writing has begun and with it all the shitty learning of Open Office which I despise. I truly hate wasting brain cells on learning all the intricate/delicate details of a word processor.

My first book will be released as a pdf for all to read if they so desire. If nothing more I'm after the artistic aspect of the whole experience. This should be loads of fun and something I will definitely be proud of.

I hope you all will wish me luck! There is alot of work ahead.