majic's journal

After reading the "No Judgement!" journal entries by r_pendragon and ranting a bit about the fact that potential boy friends and girl friends are judged by the job/profession/career path that they have entered. It makes me extremely upset to see this over and over again. If a person flips burgers at McDonalds does that make him/her a looser? What qualifies a person to be worthy enough to have a friend/mate/whatever???

Tonight I was reading my favorite website litkicks.com and I just so happened to find the exact quote I was looking for to illustrate my point of view on this matter. The quote reads "Before I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water. After I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water." This says it better than any words I can think of. I believe that profession or college degree do not matter in the worth of a person. There are so many other factors that make us humans and by judging and ruling out people based on these two factors is just plain wrong and does a serious injustice to each of us.

I consider myself a simple man. I do work that makes me feel good at the end of the day. The job could be as mundane as flipping burgers but it doesn't matter. I don't work to make millions of dollars, I don't have goals to make millions either. None of that interests me. I simply do the best damn job I can with whatever task I am given. If that job is putting paper in the laser printer, by GOD I will do it better than anybody out there. =)

I've had some coworkers ask me if I was going to reenlist and if there was a bonus for my job. I told them repeatedly that I don't need a bonus to reenlist. I don't want the free money as an incentive to reenlist because I love what I do. I will reenlist anyway regardless of a bonus or not. They look at me like I'm smoking crack and I think it's pretty funny. I am where I am because I am needed. I do what I do because there are people depending on people like me. If I had a college degree/ PhD or Nobel prize I'd still do the work that I do now. It may not be the best or most paying job but it makes me feel good at the end of the day. An honest days work goes along way in my book.

This brings me to the quote above. I have not been to college, I don't profess to be the smartest person around. I know what I know and I know what I'm good and bad at. I have talents that were not learned in a school (piano, guitar playing) or by a professor or teacher. I have loves for poetry and photography that were not born in the minds of an educator. My worth cannot be measured by my job or my education level. I'm a dedicated individual that takes pride in the things I do. You cannot learn that in a school, either you have it or you don't. My worth is deeper than my skin. You can look at me and never know me. We cannot judge people's worth by their exterior appearance. The job a person has is not a direct correlation to what they are. If they don't wish to attain a college degree does not make them lazy or stupid. There are a million and one ways to make a life in this world and some of them don't involve having a high paying job or a college degree. This does not make these lives any less respectable than the next.

"Before I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water. After I was enlightened, I chopped wood and carried water."

And another sore point with me is people giving up on their marriages. This just burns me to bits, I want to scream. Here is a little background. My mother and father were married for 32 years. That is ten times three plus two years. Yes thirty two years, I'm 29! My dad had this brilliant fucking idea that the goddamn grass was greener on the other side. Oh he found his soulmate, the person he was supposed to be with, she made him laugh and allowed him to be open and blah blah.... BULLSHIT! He divorced my mom and married his ICQ bitch. Not even a year later they are no longer together. He first cheated on my mom and then divorced her. Why? Did he go fucking insane? Do any Americans remember their fucking marriage vowels? Why do people even get married today? Why do they waste their time?

(my opinion) The sad fact is that 99% of Americans have a drive thru mentality. They wanna drive thru and get their fill and leave. They are lazy, weak and will not stick to their promises. They get tired of their spouses and want to find their soulmate or that special person that brings out the child in them. It's all a crock of shit honestly. Fuck they got married for a reason. I believe most fucking can't remember that reason. This subject irritates me so much! Fuck I can't even go on...

I'm a simple man that believes in the basics of life. I didn't get married to just give up. I certainly didn't get married with the hopes that 14 years or 32 years down the road I'd find my soulmate and divorce my wife. Geesh! I said my vowels and I intend to live by them, I will not follow the millions of other sick/fat/lazy/weak Americans that can't live up to the promises they make.

If you are married and have cheated and are giving up on your children and your commitments, I got a big FUCK YOU for you. You make me sick.

Well the time has finally come. I've been in Seoul for almost 7 months and I'll be flying to Hawaii to spend 32 relaxing days. It's bitter sweet. This last month has been very difficult. Lots of work and stress and 2 jumps and a military exercise and also a promotion board. Fuck!

Anyway things went extremely well. I earned an Army Achievement Medal for my work during the exercise. I earned Korean Jump wings for my CH-47 (Chinhook) helicopter jump on the 31st. We used Korean parachutes and I had a bruise on my ass to prove it! Korean parachutes suck assholes. I fell like a rock and hit the ground cursing!

I went to the promotion board on the 6th of April and did okay but not that good. I should be promoted to Sergeant on the 1st of June. I'm really excited about it. Sometime after that I think I will reenlist for 6 more years. In August of this year I'll have 8 years of service.

So on the 15th of April I'll be off to Mililani, Hawaii to see my mom, sister, dad, wife and very beautiful little daughter Shelby! I absolutely cannot wait!!!

I'll take some pictures of Hawaii and Shelby and put them online somewhere... But enough of my ramblings... Have fun!

Between posting at litkicks.com and here I can hardly remember what I have posted. This is my best Emily Dickinson impression. It still falls way short but resembles her style in my own way... I hope I didn't already post this!

I asked the wind her name
A reply I've yet to hear
A stillness in her voice
Which holds my interest near

I've walked outside at night
Upon a mountain top
Her voice I cannot hear
A yearning I cannot stop

In my dreams I control everything. I even control who loves me...

I can make a road
deep inside my mind
and connect it to another
until my way, I find

I can make you love me
and give me a kiss
and be with me forever
oh how ignorance is bliss

How much time do you have left? One can never know. Getting up in the morning could be extremely hazardous to your health! So very terrifying is the circumstance of our death. I've sat and wondered on numerous occasions of my impending plight.

time is a tragedy
in the corner of my room
I sit here wondering
of my impending doom

time is against me
and outside my front door
I'm poised and earnest in my approach
of the final score

Another adventure in free verse. Somewhat about love but mostly about the inner world of the human experience as lived by me.

I felt the wind upon my face
it glided down my cheek
into my soul
around my heart
and back again

to love is to understand
and fear not
what eyes alone can't see
all our senses must be put to use
to love another
is to love ourself