majic's journal

It's hard to define life. It's hard to say why we are here. I can't answer these questions but there are some answers that I've recently found. I'm here to be a good father to my very beautiful daughter Shelby. I'm here to be a good faithful husband to my wife Melinda. I'm here to support my family and lend my skills to my country ( www.army.mil ) and to my God ( www.pittmangrove.org ). There isn't much that I do understand about this life but those few things I do. Its taken lots of sweat and yes tears to realize it. I have a long way to go and I still have an amazing amount to learn.

Being 10 - 12 thousand miles from home is a very hard thing to do. It becomes painfully obvious what matters in ones life. Maintaining some sense of sanity is extremely challenging. Today my wife sends me a picture of my daughter. It was taken after I left and its left my jaw hanging on the floor. I simply cannot understand how God has blessed me. He has given me a beautiful perfect little girl that is simply the best thing to be around. She has a giggle that will honestly make you tear up. Her eyes are so big and her personality is to die for. She likes to hold her daddies hand while walking. This is what being a father is all about. To honor and cherish and to provide love to another human that you helped create is simple the best gift that God could have ever given me.

All I have to say is WOW. It makes me wanna come home right now. I can't do that and that creates a very strong pain in my heart. I have unlimited time to get in touch with myself, my feelings, my God and every molecule that makes me who I am. I am learning valuable lessons by doing this. I took for granted my family when I was at home. I took for granted my 2 dogs. I took for granted everything in my life and I simply cannot let this happen any longer. Life is fragile and it is what we make it. For me life is my wife and my daughter who I am working everyday to see. Everyday is one step closer to being with my family again. Its not about new things, money, cars, jewelry, objects and material wealth. Its about flesh, feelings, love and emotions. Its about connecting with another human, hopefully more than one. Its about learning and growing and realizing that life is about loving, teaching and guiding. It may seem unmanlike to talk about things like this and so be it. I'm coming to grips that I as a man need love and right now I'm fighting everyday to get back to those that I love and to those that love me.

I hope that by writing this I can convince others that our families, friends and loved ones are what matters most. Please if you read this grab your loved one and give them a hug. Tell them that you love them and that they mean the world to you. Give them a kiss. Do something nice for them. Life is a fragile, delicate thing and if you don't do this today you might not get to tomorrow. Cherish each and every person you meet. God's children are all equal and all need love.

God Bless this World and the Netalive family!

This post was edited by majic on Nov 12, 2003.

Well I'm living in Seoul now. Life here is not even comparable with life in North Carolina where I've been living for over 4 years. I've lived in alot of places most in the US and some in Europe back in the 80's. Somebody told me there are like 11 - 15 million people here. I sure believe it. The traffic is terrible and there are people everywhere you look. I could literally go miles without seeing a person in North Carolina. I'm definitely not a city person and this is somewhat intimidating. The smog is terrible here and breathing in all that crap day in and day out is probably not good for my health. However Seoul seems to be a rather nice place to live and visit, there is so much to see and so much to do. The night life is killer!!! And the alcohol makes life so much easier when you are over 10,000 miles from your wife and 14 month old daughter. Anyways....

Last night I saw Matrix Revolutions and I must say I really did enjoy the movie. All my friends said they didn't like it and I'm like what the fuck. The movie kicked ass. I really don't care about the ending of it. Seems up in the air to me. Its kinda been finished but Neo could come back... A Matrix 4 would rock. I'm a huge fan but time will tell what happens.

Today I visited the DMZ (DeMilitarized Zone) I took some pictures and they are posted here:

http://dailyrant.org/files/north_korea

The DMZ is the most heavily guarded area in the world. It separates North Korea from South Korea and its a wild wild place. Its almost surreal being there and seeing North Korean soldiers within 100 yards of you. Staring at you. Driving up from Seoul you eventually come to a point where no civilians are allowed. After that there are mine fields on both sides of the road. There are Army camps and observation posts and plenty of barb wire and propaganda machines and loud speakers and such.

I also took some pictures of Seoul since I've been here and they can be found here:

http://dailyrant.org/files/

All in all living here in Seoul so far is a pretty awesome experience. Big cities are not something I'm very used too, I rarely visit them. Being in the middle of thousands and thousands of people out on the streets is kinda intimidating and seeing traffic backed up for miles and miles is just unreal. Its quite an experience. Its an experience that I'd not normally have. And I gotta thank the US ARMY for making it possible. God Bless America, God Bless the World! God Bless you and your family. This world is a strange and beautiful and dynamic place. I urge you to go outside take pictures, breath in the smog or clean air. Look around and have fun. What a crazy time we live in.

If we open our minds we can be somebody else.

Anyway I hope you enjoyed reading this. After rereading it you'd swear I had a 6th grade writing level or something. Fuck. Maybe the alcohol is killing my brain.