shakylegs's journal

Wierd mood today, why is it that songs and smells remind you of things. I love it but today i hated it. You would have thought after three years i would have forgotten. Today i heard him through a song he was haunting me. At first i liked it i was younger but i was vunerable then it kicked in i cried that morning too much. I liked that sound why is it ruined, why couldnt the sound have not existed or does that mean he would have haunted me through silence! I can be glad if so as this sound was loud as it woke me and then i cried. Three years ago december 21st.Deleted memory. (Laughs) wish it was that easy, it didnt hurt it does now.
I dont know why but i really want to know who is it? Who is it that never lets you down? I hope i get some replys in my post and if so it will be interesting if they really belief that there is someone or something that will never let them down.
I dont know what to believe i believe that you can find it, i know i will, but i also believe that not everyone does. I trust noone because so far everything has let me down. Last year i was ok i thought i had it, then shit began and it stirred and now i cant read myself, that why i want to write this journal, wish i did when i joined, because i have forgotten that feeling. And i hate and pity those who feel it as they are in for a ride, that is unless its just me and a few others, i would like to believe that is the case but everyone is affected, because thats life and to me no matter what it always lets you down, but i know whats to live for and that is the ups. I live for the ups, therefore i survive through the downs, but its not just the trip down its the memory that follows, today my word is development!