Reading gl0ck's journal

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I can feel you pull away, And it's just as I lean in, And the timing cuts me wide open. With amiss I am betrayed, Slicing right through my thick skin, Yet I seek another hide I'm asking you to stay In my arms; Wait, you're breaking me apart.

I'm out here on a limb but I'm holding out my hand, hoping you can make the climb with me.
But I'm carving in the bark and droping down to where you stand trying silence on for size
I'm asking you to stay in my arms; wait you're breaking me apart.

I miss you in my fingers and valleys in between, It's odd how feeling lingers for something yet unseen;
There's ages between my heart and my mouth my veins throb with that which I can't spit out. Now I don't need much Just presence in mind and the assurance your ache matches mine. So stay, please don't pull away from me.
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Props to L. Lynn Johnston for these words. Recently certain confessions have been made regarding feelings that I kept bottled up for so long. It felt like singing a song about mangled dreams that were left unsung; it was a release; it felt like vitriol was oozing out of my body at the cracks and seams; it felt like my body was being purged of a poison that's eating me. I told her that I was in love with her and yes, it did feel good. But now comes the hardest part…Waiting; waiting in fearful anticipation of an outcome that is obscure.

I've never been good with portents. I've lived my life misreading signs; doing nothing when omens were smiling down on me; being hasty when they've been forbidding. There's nothing more painful than assuming that something's within your grasp but when in fact it's so far away and because I don't want to hurt myself over this, I conditioned myself not to expect her to reciprocate my feelings; to love unconditionally; to love the way it's meant to be; to ache without expecting her aches to match mine.

The question now is whether or not I could live with this. Would this setup be detrimental to the both of us? Is it better if I just turn my back and walk away?

Is it better if I just turn my back and walk away?

well, NO, of course NOT, ya lil fuckhead ;P
if you ALWAYS 'n EVER swallow the emotions and turn your back, you're going - sooner or later - DIE of that behaviour!

best is to FACE such a situation - even it'll turn out as a complete catastrophe - at least you did TRY. and then you'll learn out of this, anyway...

so dont catch a cold, but catch the CHANCE of changing! ;)

cu, w0lf.

Metal has no laws. Metal is the law.

This post was edited by oxygenius on May 09, 2003.