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Dear citizens of NAO,

it saddens me deeply that I had to take the measures described in this post, but please try to understand that the current situation did not leave me with any other choice.

For years, the Geek Factor™ found in the profile of every user on Netalive.org has been proven again and again to be a most precise, internationally accepted measure of geekdom.

Personnel divisions all over the globe rely on the geek factor as a concise profile of their job applicant and in fact many companies in the United States no longer hire tech workers with a Netalive.org geek factor lower than the minimum required 50%.

Unfortunately, from today on this is bound to change.

Not once in my life did I question null's status as a true geek. He seemed to have it all: A job as software developer, extensive tinkering with technology with his sparetime. A little more than a year ago, he even attempted to build his own cellphone.

His geek factor was good, slightly above average. The formula that had proven itself time and time again seemed to be correct as always. Little did I know.

These days I'm often lying awake at night, asking myself: Could I have prevented it? If there had been signs of the impending catastrophe I didn't recognize them, or ignored them in my naiveté.

Needless to say, when desaster struck last weekend, it hit me completely unprepared.

It began harmlessly. An innocent e-mail conversation with Orchid about the latest installment of the Matrix series Reloaded. I am not sure whether she was aware of the implications of her statement, when she wrote me the words that would change my life forever:

Null had never seen The Matrix part one. Actually they just watched it the day they went to see Reloaded.

At first I dismissed this is a bad joke. But soon I became nervous: What if she had not been joking? What if null had actually ignored the one film every geek had seen fifty times all the way from 1999 to 2003?

Eventually I reached a point where I couldn't concentrate on anything else anymore. Maybe it had really been a joke. Maybe things could still turn out to be good. But I had to know. And so I asked Orchid.

When I received her reply that she had not been joking I felt my whole life falling apart. I had been living a lie for many years and never noticed a thing. But even more important than that, I realized that the secret formula behind the geek factor had been compromised: It could no longer be relied upon.

Nothing could ever atone for the damage already done. But I had to act in order to assure that this would end, right here. I had to carry out the first geekfactor moderation in the history of Netalive.org.

Herewith I declare that null's geek factor has been set to 0% for the time being.

I must ask you to believe when I say that this drastic measure is grieving me as much as you. If you were asking me today: Jaz, if you could go back in time and had a second chance, what would you do to prevent it? I would have to admit that I have no idea.

The lesson this incident taught us is that, like every piece of technology, the Geek Factor is just a tool, and tools can make mistakes. I now know how dangerous it is to overly confide in the tools we enclose ourselves with.

Maybe there could have been a way to learn this lesson in an easier way. We will never know. All we can do now is to look ahead, watch our feet and make sure that something like this will never happen again.

Take care people,

Jaz

'Yeah, That's what Jesus would do. Jesus would bomb Afghanistan. Yeah.' - snowlion

Jaz - you are obviously not aware of the severe implications of your deed:
Null never ever had to watch the matrix.

He created it.

(And now give him back his geek factor. You would not want to get to know to Mr. Anderson, would you?)

-marc

This post was edited by marc on Jun 02, 2003.

Uh oh. I just received a photo from Orchid, showing null in a Rollercoaster. The picture was taken last weekend. Judge for yourself:

'Yeah, That's what Jesus would do. Jesus would bomb Afghanistan. Yeah.' - snowlion

Never would I have thought this was SO obvious... :-)

-marc

Oh shit, I've been discovered.

"*sigh* Some men are really hard to manipulate!" - Orchid

Well don't worry, since I saw the first half of the movie some years ago, Jaz has promised me to give me back half of my geekpoints. (I'm confident that a visit of the twins will help me get the other half back, and then some more.) Anyway, thanks for your support! :-)

"*sigh* Some men are really hard to manipulate!" - Orchid

I just received word from null that he had seen the first half of the movie some years ago. So I re-awarded him 50% of his geek factor.

'Yeah, That's what Jesus would do. Jesus would bomb Afghanistan. Yeah.' - snowlion

ROFLOL - what a brilliant post :)
And all because of me. I think I forgot null told me about having seen a part of the first Matrix movie, sorry, I hope you can forgive me, I had trust in Jaz' discretion ;)

"Sie wollen nichts anderes. Sie wollen kämpfen! Sie sind Soldaten! Fucking Wahnsinnige!" - Noel G.

# mysql netalive
mysql> update users set password='ibowbeforenullsgeekiness' where name='jaz';
Query OK, 1 row affected (0.00 sec)
Rows matched: 1  Changed: 1  Warnings: 0
mysql> exit
Bye
#_

"*sigh* Some men are really hard to manipulate!" - Orchid

Could you translate this for ungeeky users like me? Please :)

"Sie wollen nichts anderes. Sie wollen kämpfen! Sie sind Soldaten! Fucking Wahnsinnige!" - Noel G.

This means Jaz' new netalive.org password is

ibowbeforenullsgeekiness

-marc

Wow, if he's really able to do that, he's like Neo :D
Null did you change that image of yours!? :D

"Sie wollen nichts anderes. Sie wollen kämpfen! Sie sind Soldaten! Fucking Wahnsinnige!" - Noel G.

Bah! I knew it was too good to be true. ;)

Only my good upbringing stops me from actually doing this to Jaz.
I think I need to work on that one before it interferes with my plans to world domination. :-)

"*sigh* Some men are really hard to manipulate!" - Orchid

Yeah, my morals are always getting in my way too. ;)

Yeah, my morals are always getting in my way too.

Must be a very common problem. :-)

"*sigh* Some men are really hard to manipulate!" - Orchid