Reading IllegalCheeser's journal

Ok Here's the thing to people who keep putting responses about no background info. There's this little thing called a tattletale at my school who will print this out and show it to teachers and try to get me in trouble if I am too specific. This is basically just a spot to release my feelings. If you're confused, go read someone else's.

But Anyways, today was really great. I realized a lot of things. Mostly how bad of a person I am. I've tried my best to lead a good Christian life but no matter what I do I feel like I'm not doing what I can. I really need a week off from life, you know? Just myself to think about why I suck so much and what I can do to solve it. But anyways To Mandi I wanted to give you this poem

My life I share with you today
For you are a major part
Of each new day as it does dawn
Because you have captured my heart.

Absence of hope you have given me that
Doubts you have chased away
The fear I had is now all gone
And peace I have found each day.

Yea, Well I only have 2 days of school this week so That's good. I'm so sick of high school. I'm going on Monday to see if I can graduate early. I'd go every day to summer school. I need a change of environment. College will do me so much good. Drama is so meh. I guess I'm not doing my best to prevent it, but if I'm quiet everyone always thinks I'm depressed or suicidial even if I want to just relax or read or something. Only person I would want to talk to is Mandi. Not you, random person. I know, I know you'll feel better about yourself if you try to comfort me for no reason but is it really out of the question for me to just be in a quiet mood? I sometimes wish I went back to my old nerd studying ways so people would ignore me again. Except Mandi. Thanks Again. Amo Te.

Ok, i actually really liked this post until i got to the insulting bits. It told those of us who knew nothing about you something about you and it articularly expressed your emotions. But then you ruined it by the following:

Only person i would want to talk to is mandi. Not you, random person

just in case you havent noticed, this is a public place. When you post something on the internet assume its going to be read. And one of the things the members in this community pride themselves on is the support they can offer each other.

As to having people print this out and show it around, i hear you, boy do i hear you. I've had the same problem. However, there are simple things you can let us in on. Like in this post, it was good because we knew who you were referring to. Simple things like explaining the relationship between you and the people you mention can help.

If you're posting on the internet then you are obviously reaching out for help of some form, maybe just someone to listen, or care. Why don't you give us a go? Keep posting like this one and we'll keep reading.

And no, i will not try to comfort you just so i can feel better. I know there is absolutly nothing i can do to make you feel better. The same as you know that we want you to feel better and would help if we could. But as i said before, we make great listeners.

-Mel

Look at me! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!

It's not in reference to people online, it's to people in my real life who gossip alot. Sorry for misundersttanding