Reading MelMel's journal

Hmmm, i am starting a vendetta against people who think i exist solely for their amusment. I constanly get the feeling that I am being set up again and again to amuse people.

And it hurts.

Particularly from all of my male friends. Now, most of them know I just don't do the whole "fake-flirting" game. It's just not who I am. Anyway, I find it depressing. It's not "fun".

normally they start out with it and you guys have probably come to realise, I am the queen of bullshit - well, one of them anyway...i get the feeling theres a few others here! so i go along with it for a while and tell them that i dont like being treated this way. i know you are not attracted to me in anyway and i dont like being reminded constantly that i am a joke no one wants. and it ends, and we are great friends.

But some people just won't let up, like this one guy who I've never actually met. He's a friend of my brothers, one of those people who add random friends of friends onto their MSN. He constantly flirts and is suggestive. and i have asked him to stop. told him that it depresses me. that i wont be a part of some game. But he doesn't. and he acts hurt whenever i tell him I dont want to play along. He's normally really nice and sweet, a great friend, but this really irritates and depresses me.

I do not want constant reminders that nobody wants me. It is something i can deal with, but these constant suggestions and flirtations are driving me insane. He's one of those ultra-confident types. So im thinking that its just general ignorance. He's never had to deal with feeling isolated, alone. and he is attractive, so he has no idea what i go through.

i dont want to believe that he is just making fun of me. i couldn't stand to lose another friend. but i also couldn't stand to lose any more happiness and confidence.

"hmmm, meditate on this, i will"

-Mel

Look at me! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!

This brings me to the topic: he/she's just a good friend.
the big grummy bear ...

... alas, at least ME would take that "game" pretty serious ;)
ok, but thats because I am what I AM. maybe you're hanging out with the wrong folks?

yours, bG.

Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign for a diseased mind!

Ditto to Ginger-Bush.

I think we have great converstions Mel, but this is only television. Body language says alot. No,I mean ALOT!

For myself I think that besides the computer stuff ..., the most common posts here are depression and having trouble relating to peers. I think there are commonalities in both these areas, actually.

Particularly from all of my male friends. Now, most of them know I just don't do the whole "fake-flirting" game. It's just not who I am. Anyway, I find it depressing. It's not "fun". And it hurts.

Guys at about your age are just shit. The "normal" ones anyway. Actually the "grown-up" ones are pretty shitty too. But what are you gonna do if you don't wanna start playing for the other team. I used to hang-out with a certain group of people cause I thought that I identified with them. I didn't know anything then, probably don't know much more. I do know what I like and dislike, and where my boundries are. Sometimes I can even clearly state them to others.

He constantly flirts and is suggestive. and i have asked him to stop. told him that it depresses me. that i wont be a part of some game. But he doesn't. and he acts hurt whenever i tell him I dont want to play along. He's normally really nice and sweet, a great friend, but this really irritates and depresses me.

He's lonely, and doesn't know how to express it. That's not your problem, but then you don't want to hurt the guy's feelings. Like all boys, he's about as subtle as a ball peen hammer. Next time he's 'suggestive,' tell him something to the effect: it makes me feel uncomfortable when you talk like that. I like you most of the time, but not when you talk like that. Can we just talk like friends?" See where that goes. Can't be worse than what's happened so far.

I was so piss-poor at relationships when I was in school, and into college. I drank all those years away. Drinking till one passes-out sorta solves relationship problems. She's gone, problem solved.(Not that it's a solution that I'd recommend to anyone.)

i know you are not attracted to me in anyway and i dont like being reminded constantly that i am a joke no one wants. and it ends, and we are great friends.

I do not want constant reminders that nobody wants me. It is something i can deal with, but these constant suggestions and flirtations are driving me insane. He's one of those ultra-confident types. So im thinking that its just general ignorance. He's never had to deal with feeling isolated, alone. and he is attractive, so he has no idea what i go through.

i dont want to believe that he is just making fun of me. i couldn't stand to lose another friend. but i also couldn't stand to lose any more happiness and confidence.

I'm going out on a limb. I like you as a friend. I personally appreciate your intellegence and wit, and conversation. I don't really know you. Maybe if we met we'd have nothing to say. The body language and looks say alot. We've built-up a certain communication level. That could change in an instant if we met, (but I would hope it wouldn't.)

It sounds like you might actually like this young man. He might not be your type, but what do you know of him? He's never had to deal with feelings of isolation, but then maybe he has. Have you asked him? Maybe e-mailing him and talking to him on an entirely cerebrial level might not be a bad thing.

And I'm thinking that if this post is about the same person, (I may be totally confused about this) I'll repeat what I said: He's lonely and doesn't know how to show it. Just cause he's attractive to you, doesn't mean he feels himself attractive. He sounds sort of desperate, but that's my opinion. Believe it or not, you two may have more in common than you think. I believe truly confident guys don't have to be "suggestive" all the time. And the name of the game, if not your post, is confidence ...and not arrogence.

I'll bet that just took 5 years off my life--but GODDAMM if it wasn't worth every second

This post was edited by zen on Dec 19, 2003.

Nuih, should have responded to these posts long ago, but simply have had no time so i'm going through my journals now to find all the people who've kindly offered me support and advice which i have rudly ignored...sorry.

ok, 1. Ginsterbusch, i'm really sorry, but i actually didnt understand alot of your post...maybe its sme stupid aussie slang thing where i dont understand proper grammar or something :S but as Zen said ditto, i'll assume it was along the same lines as his??

now 2. Zen's thesis ;)

I think we have great converstions Mel,

yes, but you dont ask for my sexual history. you dont tell me you dream about me in the bath etc...

He's lonely, and doesn't know how to express it.

hmmm, yes i had thought something like that. but no i think he's just a horny teenage guy who wants to get laid.

I drank all those years away. Drinking till one passes-out sorta solves relationship problems. She's gone, problem solved.(Not that it's a solution that I'd recommend to anyone.)

consider it noted. im not good with alcohol :S

I'm going out on a limb. I like you as a friend.

Yay, snaps for me!! ;)

We've built-up a certain communication level. That could change in an instant if we met, (but I would hope it wouldn't.)

i'll drink to that (oh shit i just promised you i wouldn't do that :P)

. I believe truly confident guys don't have to be "suggestive" all the time.

yes i agree with that. but you'll never find anyone that confident my age. actually one of my close friends Merryn is like that. she has this confidence in herself, she can go through anything not oblivous, just unchanging. i really admire her/you if you read this mez.

And the name of the game, if not your post, is confidence ...and not arrogence.

hmmm, *ponders* i hadn't thought of it in this light.

but confidence is something i lack, well when it comes to me displaying myself...not just a character or personalty. now i'm even more confused, oh dear.

ah screw it, the whole damn thing. i'll leave it for him to sort out.

-Mel

Look at me! I'm a prostitute robot from the future!