Reading Magnifico's journal

Another sunday night with so very little homework yet done: biology write-ups, essays, history reading on the end of Recontruction in the post-Civil War American South, and all I've got to keep me going is the caffeine. Sweet, sweet caffeine.

The swimming season is officially over, which leaves me with absolutely no obligation to refrain from sweet insanity, the hallucination-inducing habit of staying awake until I get visions (usually in the range of 58-62 hours without sleep). I find that I'm not used to it, because it's been so long, but all I can do is wait it out, and be patient. I've got six hours of kk, Tool, Rammstein, AFI, and Die in Winter on one cd (MP3/Atrac3 cd burner and player from christmas: quel bon cadeau!), half a can of Monster Energy, and a decent-sized workload to keep me going. Nothing left now but to KBO and clear out the fruits of my laborious procrastination. In the manifold hours of freetime I have in the weekend, it's during these next five and a half that I can get the most done. All I want to do is finish, and keep going so that I can truly see once more.

It's not just some childish enjoyment of the pretty colors, you see. It's a reinforcement of my fundamental belief in the power of perception, of how visual stimulation can very much affect external reality in some way, even if not directly. To quote Winston in 1984, If I could make myself believe that I just floated off the floor like a soap bubble, and make you believe the same, then it happened. I've seen my hand push through desks, walls turn into smoke, cans float off of the monitor onto the bookshelf, only to find them back on the monitor later (those sneaky rogues aim only to confuse me). I've watched the faces of people I've known for years suddenly change in some strange way, without truly changing. If I go long enough without sleep, I can see anything and everything. I can lose myself between the sounds; go where no one's been. And one of these days, Maynard, I'll ride that spiral to the end. I may just go where no one's been.

Thbbbbt