Reading Salvial_Ten's journal

I was looking back over alot of my old posts, and it's occured to me that it isn't truely Trollism that turns me silent for long periods of time, nor is it really a lack of opinion. It comes from just not really wanting to post what I think and feel on a deep personal level, and it doesn't have anything to do with the people in this wonderfull little web community, because I think you guys are great people. It's just that I feel uncomfortable with admitting my own thoughts and feelings to myself.

This revelation truely sank in last week when we were assigned to write a letter to someone we felt strongly about and haven't really had a means of communicating with them. We didn't have to show anyone this letter, not even the teacher, but we had to write it. The person I chose to write to is a friend of mine named Sam. Every day he and I have some sort of bantering arguement with eachother about anything and everything. This morning was no different, and I think it was over something quite trivial like the proper pronunciation of some Spanish word (I can't remember it or the arguement now). And well, I was still feeling really amused about it, and he's someone I think about alot, so I decided to let the letter write itself. Which made me admit alot of things to myself, that I just really didn't want to know.

Since then, I've been in this void, semi-depressed state of conciousness and wrapped into some sort of bizarre introspective nightmare, that only comes after: A) writting something like the above letter, B) A truamatizing expieriance, or C) A bad trip on a psychadelic drug. And frankly, I don't like it.

--Jami

You fail it.