Reading mace's journal

In December I quit my job so I could spend three weeks in California. When I got back in late January, I bummed around for a week or two before doing a contract job at my old place of employment for just under three weeks.

Since then, I've been bumming around again. Meet my friends for coffee, go play pool, I've played paintball a few times. I stay up till about 5am and wake up around 2pm. I don't know why, but I always default to nocturnal when I have the option. I've watched a few movies... I'm re-reading 3001 a bit at a time.

Overall, I've done absolutely nothing productive. I've applied to university, but that won't begin until September. I could get a job, but for now I'm living off my savings. Plus, I still live with my parents, so that makes unemployment a bit easier.

I promised myself that when I got back from California and I finally had some time to myself, I'd get to work on a bunch of different projects I had been putting off while I was in school and at work. Well, I'm finding it hard to get started.

I've got a bunch of songs (some complete, some incomplete) that I've been meaning to record. Every time that I've sat down and tried to record, I've run into some minor technical glitch and just given up.

Much like the recording, I've been meaning to brush up on my C++. I've got a project in mind that's not within my current abilities. I sit down, open up one of my C++ books and read a single paragraph before I become bored out of my mind and close the book out of frustration. I think maybe I have ADD. Either that, or programming text books aren't as exciting as people had told me they were. =P

What it all seems to boil down to is an inability to self-motivate. I'd really like to have an album recorded. And I'd really love for someone to find my name in the about box on some shiny piece of software. But I can't seem to get off my lazy ass.

I figure what I need is a mentor. Someone to help motivate and teach me. Any takers?

If you ever find a way out of these motivational road holes, please let me know. I know exactly what you're experiencing, kicking around countless half-finished projects and unstarted ideas, thinking about doing all the things you finally have time for. Not being able to enjoy your leisure time because it's like taking a vacation from your vacation. I've spent a major part of my life right there.

'Yeah, That's what Jesus would do. Jesus would bomb Afghanistan. Yeah.' - snowlion