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Mar 16, 2004 16:15 # 20391
At my college i'm in agroup of friends who are thought to most people to be cool people, perosnally i think that we have good personalities, however i'm sure there are some people at our small college thta thing nothing of us. Which is fine because we are such a tight group that we dont mind what people think of us. There is one guy who i in particular liked very much, his name was scott. But as soon as i commited myself to the relationship a suddenly thought of my ex and how i was still in love with him and that i could never love scott in the same way. After three weeks of the relationship i went on a ski trip with the college and it was with the whole group of friends but scott injured his leg and couldnt go. I was very upset because i cared about him greatly and knew that the ski trip would have brought us even closer. But i went with out him an djust my good friends. On the second day of sking i injured my leg by taking a bad fall on the slopes and got rushed to hospital, on the way there my ski rep called her collegue and his name was joey. He was austrian and the first time i met him i feel in love he took me back to the hotel from the hospital and we flirted but he said he will see me in two days at a club that my ski rep was taking us to. This was awful my boyfriend who was in love with me and he told me this a lot had said to a friend of ours that his worst fear wasif she cheated on me while she was away. But i knew thta this guy joey was everything i have always wanted and i didnt know what to do. If i did cheat on him i would tell scott straight away as i respect him so much but i have always thought that you should never let those moments pass you by.
That night at the club as i had hurt my leg, and couldnt dance joey stayed with me all night and at the end of the night we kissed all my friends saw and the next day with out telling anyone i called scott from austria and told him i was drunk but this happened he forgave me and siad it was fine and as soon as i heard scott i realised he meant more to me then i knew and i was happy cause i felt like it has brought us closer.
On the way home from austria on the coach i didnt say a word this was a 26 hour journey not one of my friends spoke to me and still didnt a few wekks back at college. Scott and i decided to carry on with the relationship and it was not very good really things were awkward so i decided after five weeks to end it he was getting to seriuos and i couldnt deal with the pressure.
Two days after this joey downloaded msn and we spoke for hours every night and he eventually sent me a picture as soon as i saw him i cried i missed this guy so much i couldnt believe i just left austria without him or telling him how i really felt it was so unreal.
The bad bit is my childish ex ignores me and because he is so hurt by me dumping him, slags me off to what used to be my friend now this was the most hurtful thing for him and i realise this but i never really liked scott that much and i was stuck, so i saved him a lot more pain by ending it now.
But although it has hurt me so much not being a part of the group and being called childish bitch and so on i have realised what bullies these people are and he shocked me was i ever really like them. I couldnt believe it these people make me cry everyday so even if they said look we forgive u for hurting scott lets still be friends then i would say "fuck off you two faced bullies". I got two great things out of this whole chaos a great cyber boyfriend who i miss so much, but we talk for literally hours everyday. And i noticed one girl who was in our group but continuosly bullied by these people she was very very quite so beautiful and now the bestest most honest loving friend i think i will ever have it has only been a week since i noticed this about her because the whole time i haev been inside something which never allowed me to see outside of it. And i think this something was the group of friends although i never bullied anyone i was still thought of us part of this group which a later discovered make peopleso lonely and hurt. This saddens me greatly.
Now i hope thay joey will visit me soon in england or i will visit him. And that mine and lucy's relationship blossoms into a life long friendship.
The group are still bullying me on adaily basis and yes they still hurt me but i will get over it just like scott should as he revealed to me recently he still loved me. I feel awful because i hurt him but you cannot help you fall in or out of love with its life and its painful but we have got to live it if not for our sakes then for the sakes of others.
Thanks so much if you read this it has been only two weeks since we split up so this is very new and i hope that it makes anyone who doesnt realise it that a bestfriend is someone that you can be true to and know that they are true to you back.
As joey would say "stay above the crowd"
lots of love me!
Can't think what to say...
Mar 17, 2004 05:15 # 20413
I definitely wish you and all involved the best of luck with this whole thing. Also, I have to say that IMHO you did the right thing. It may take some time for everyone else ot see it, but it will come. I started out planning to write something more than this, but now i can't seem to come up with it, so i will live you with the best advice i have ever heard.
*for use with any and all situations*
Follow your bliss.
Mar 17, 2004 18:06 # 20425
Mar 17, 2004 23:33 # 20434
Mar 19, 2004 02:44 # 20470
That is such a great post. I believe what you stated about your friends is so true in my same situation. I used to have many friends that are now involved in drugs and stupid shit like that.
I have matured and noticed that kind of stuff is not for me and that I don't need to be hanging around with people like that. I didnt know what else to do but there isnt much I can do. I told them a while ago I I couldnt hang around with them because of it. I feel that if I hang around with them then I will be involved with drugs and stuff.
That now has changed, 6 years later I have the bestest of friends that anyone could have. Their not involved in any of that drug shit and there good friends that dont treat people bad when they dont want to do something or something would happen to go wrong.
I just feel I can kind of relate to your situation and I appreciate the post. I hope for the best of you and your past, present, and future friends.
there coming to take me away... ha ha
Mar 21, 2004 01:00 # 20540
I think it is good that you did what you did with him. You knew that the relationship would go nowhere and rather than drag it on and eventually cause him a large amount of grief, you nipped it in the bud and saved him some sorrow. He will eventually come to appreciate that. And about those friends, maybe it is a good thing that you see this side of tem now, before something worse could have happened. People like that are not real friends and probably aren't people you want to stay nvolved with.
I think it should be commended for you to have the character to get away from that kind of influence. You saw something you didn't want to be involved with and got away from it before it could affect you. Good job.
Personally, I know a lot of people now that I used to be close with who have turned to things like drugs. I'm glad that I got away from them before they turned to those things because if I hadn't I don't kow what I would be like today. Just a few days ago, in fact, one of the guys I consider one of my friends kept trying to push me into doing something I didn't want to. Finally, after about half an hour he gave up to my relief, but I still want to be his friend. Hopefully, he'll lay off in the future.
I swam 90 miles to get here...I'll die before I got back, Dreuban...Tsss.