Skip to content | Skip to navigation
This is definitly not everybody's cup of tea, so i am suggesting that you think long and hard about whether or not you want to read it, it could be extremely upsetting, offensive, or just bad to some of you... but please don't yell at me if i get things wrong, or offend any of you. thanks.
it's a little incompleted, so much patience is required if more reading would like to happen, but if you don't think it's worth continuing, i won't bother, because i have a lot of other shit to be wasting my time on.
Stopping herself before it happens again, she gets up off her knees and walks towards the mirror. The taste of vomit still lingers in her mouth as she stares deeply into her reflection. Carefully surveying every line and crease that has nestled into her skin. More tears begin to well in her eyes and the salty water trickles down her bright red cheek. Taking a deep breath in she slowly walks to the bathroom door, turns the knob and makes a run as fast as she can before anyone could question her. Her younger brother watches as she slams her bedroom door behind her, totally oblivious to anything being wrong, he steps into the bathroom. The smell of stale food almost knocks him of his feet, but he closes the door behind him anyway.
Her bedroom was dark, the early morning sunlight being blocked by heavy tweed curtains. She sat on her bed and rocked to the beat of her thoughts. Gradually the rocking became more and more violent… then a knock on the door. The rocking automatically stopped, like someone had flicked the switch.
"I'm free to say whatever I, whatever I like if it's wrong or right, it's alright."
Wow. What else is there to say? Gripping from start to finish. Again you capture feelings that most people struggle to write down. I especially like the description of her tears as 'salty water'. Thats so true but ive never realised until you said it. I also like the way that the reader still doesn't know why she is vomiting. This makes me want to read on.
Well i dont want to say i told you so but.. you are definitely good at this and you should continue. Dont worry about if some people dont like it, if you carry on in the way you have started im sure you will win over even the harshest of critics.
I look forward to reading more.
Well I didn't find your writing offensive. It was sobering and real and a picture that is painted so much in today's society. Kaizley my words cannot do this piece justice. You are a very talented young lady. The writing was short and sweet and full of description from start to finish. It became evident extremely early on what the piece was conveying. I applaud your ability to take the reader by the hand and lead him down a road that has been specifically paved to tell your story. Truly outstanding work!