Reading Aynjell's journal

That's right I said it, nobody likes me.
I have my freinds but I am considered to have little to no personality are at least very little. The sad thing is that it is sort of true.
I am a kind of person that will find something and cling to it and only it for dear life. Right now I am hopelessly addicted to computers and more so the alternatively open source operating sytem called linux.
I guess that this has always been a problem of me and It has always gotten me to be an expert or at least a fast growing amatuer unless it is complex like magic the gathering.
I did in fact giver up my magic cards so that i could afford a new computer and it ended up that it was not worth it any way.
I am just hopeless oh well guess I need to start clinging to my computer again.
I have my other problems that could be considered an addiction but it sin't drugs or anything but it does make for a more negative me. I need to get rid of it but I have tried for so long, it's just that it feels natural or even right but it has to die.
Yes DIE.

I should be ashamed of myself.

I'll be honest. I know it hurts, a lot, when it seems that no one cares that you exsist, but I do know that it shouldn't bother you that much. I'm just 16, I just recently got over that stage. I started to write. not just poems, but...stories that had happened that hurts me to think upon, or peices of stories that I wished, that if possibe I could change, would have happened MY way. It helps, it opens your mind, and yousoon realize that your true friends are the ones who stick it out, and go with you no matter how much you annoy them. They will care, and help. If you need anythinng, ask a friend, wether they be there with you, or here on Netalive...we're here for ya!

Athena, here and there...

Well, thank you, Athena. I appreciate it. You have always been a good, but strange, freind...
Whatever happened to our plans of global dominantion.

I should be ashamed of myself.

I understand how you feel, I feel like that sometimes too. But like Athena said, maybe your friends don't have to be out there, they can be here at netalive. That's why I love this site so much, I don't really feel as lonely as before because here, I've found people who also feel like me, and I know they are there. Also, being passionate about something, like your computer is not that bad. I understand how that is, for me it's poetry, it helps me alot and even though sometimes it gets me even more depressed, it somehow still helps. I hope this helps and remember there are and will be people that understand you and help you. ;) xxx

Let the best of your past be the worst of your future ***

This post was edited by RICANPUNKBABE on Jul 28, 2004.

Don't look for people to help you most people are so self-centered they couldn't take a second from their on little worlds to help someone else. If you find somebody who does it's probably just to make them feel better somehow. The world is a ugly place filled with ugly people and you're probably one of the nicer ones. It seem everybody's willing to take almost nobody's will to give and if no one is liking you right now it's because they're to busy liking themselves. Plan something set yourself a goal to reach don't worry about who likes you. All people are drawn to success. The more you achieve the more you will realize how much you really don't care about those people liking you because then they will be bothering you.

most people are so self-centered they couldn't take a second from their on little worlds to help someone else. If you find somebody who does it's probably just to make them feel better somehow. The world is a ugly place filled with ugly people

I know there's a lot of things wrong with this world, but still... are you sure we're living on the same planet?

"God is dead." - Nietzsche, 1882 "Nietzsche is dead." - God, 1900

There are a lot of people out there that are like that. However there are some good people that like you for you. To name only a few, the freinds that I do have, are usually really nice to me, not because I have anything to offer, and they damn sure are not philanthropists, but they are very generous to me indeed.
My freind that started me up on linux helped me with any question I had no matter how mundane, my best freind who I used to play magic with, Is able to hold a conversation with me about nothing at all for hours. That helps to pass the time...
Anyway there are nice ones out there. They usually wear pocket protectors or have a computer chair molded the shape of their ass.
But they are still nice.

I should be ashamed of myself.

You know what Aynjell, you're alright. Stick around. :)

You're here, aren't you? You're talking to me, aren't you?