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Reading Aynjell's journal

I am going to start a story so that I might develop the world and the type of characters that will run rampant in my first game, so here goes:
This is excerpt One, Entitled "The city of Terra..."
====================*ETERNITY=IN=A=DAY*=========================
The streets were alive and full of commotion, swelling with nightlife. Neon signs were lit up everywhere advertising the stores they hung over, glowing against the gentle fog that hung over the ground. The city was in a variable orgy around him and the energy that the city radiated was intoxicating; it would seduce anyone into itself that spent half a night there.
Io stood at a traffic-point, waiting to cross the road. The loud whine of a pod-car's engine screamed at the other end of the traffic-point, accompanied by another that roared to life shortly after.
At the chime of the traffic-point's 'proceed' signal, the two pod-cars exploded into a furiously loud scream of power and speed, ripping by Io with such tremendous velocity that he was pushed back and then pulled forward in the wake the cars left behind. after steadying himself, he looked over to see the pod-car's dissapear into the distance, and to try to decide who had won the race.
"I bet the guy in the Morial-5 tore that other guy apart..."
Io mused. He scanned his surroundings, paying close attention to the data displayed on the screen of the HIU that he wore on his left ear. It told him that the two cars were at 500 KPH five seconds after they took off and that the temperature of the surrounding are was an average of 36.6 degrees celsius.
"I think the pilot of the Statar-1 took that race." responded a voice from the left. The construct in the HUI on his ear decided to start a conversation, or rather an argument...
"What makes you think that?" asked Io.
"Well the Morial-5 was a stock car, however the Statar-1, slow in stock form, was heavily modified, and was vastly overpowered. If the race lasted two blocks as I think it did the Statar with it's lack of aggressive acceleration, would have fell behing towards the end of the first block but would have cleaned up nicely at the end of the second block..."
"Okay, Okay," Io interrupted, "You win...".
The cross-light was flashing. Io sprinted across making it just in time for the light to switch off as he touched the curb.
Io looked down the street, and as he surveyed the row of stores the HUI brought a reticle onto the display and centered it on a specific store.
"That's the one you were looking for right?" asked annastasia.
"Yeah, that's the one." replied Io.
It was a small dealership that had a custom order that he had made several weeks before. As he walked in, he cut the lasers that beamed across the doorway, setting off an alarm that rang quietly through the store. Io was greeted by a gruff but freindly old man.
"Hello there. What can I do for you?" He asked.
"Um, yeah" Io started "I had made an order for a gun, it was a single shell auto-coil..." he went on describing the order "I wanted it with the laser sight and the smart-scope that could link with a HUI-5451."
"Oh yeah! i got it right here..." his voice trailing of as he went into the back room. The shop was fairly well stocked and had a lot of things that were fairly exotic. Just the fact that the gun that Io wanted could be buitl by this guy surprised him quite a bit.
"Here it is." said the storekeeper. Proffereing a rag wet with oil draped over something remotley gun-shaped. Upon removing the cover-cloth he found the peice he had expected to see, a modified Shadow-Stealer.
The front end was lengthened by a small pencil-shaped obtrusion that left the barrels edge by only a centimeter, it was tipped in glass and upon Io's fully extending his arm the light lit up and shone in an exact line across the room leaving a dot in the spot that the gun was aimed.
"There are no faults in the craftsmanship, at least that are evident." mused Io.
"I still say that only a transcendant should use a Shadow-Stealer." exclaimed the store keeper "but, if you want it, and have the money to pay for it, I sell it to ya."
"How much did you say it was?" asked Io while looking at his balance via HUI. It showed 123,089.69C*(credits).
"30,000 credits in full." stated the store keeper."I ain't doin' the credits on credit thing anymore. Those internet pirates give you loaded credits that come up empty after you get the payments."
"That's fine," He said as he handed him his credit-chip."Take what you need off of there.."
The chip found it's way into the bay of a small transaction machine. The lights lit up and the machine requested the chip owners passcode. Io promptly typed in his five digit password, and upon hitting the accept key, the machine gave a bright green light out of the top left side of the built-in LCD and immediately after printed accepted out across the screen.