Reading Magnifico's journal

Aug 11, 2004 04:13 # 25311

Magnifico *** isn't happy...

Faster than I am,

86% | 6

. . .she's dying.

A close friend of my mother's, a person who I've come to know and love, has cancer. She previously had breast cancer, but it had been operated upon and the doctors thought it had been beaten.

It's still there.

It lingers; for now, doctors know that it has spread to the marrow in some of her bones. It can't be removed.

A little over a year ago, my grandmother died; one of the side-effects of this unfortunate event was the total annihilation of my mother. She's still reeling from the pain. And now, one of her best friends has cancer that will, eventually, kill her. It is unsure, currently, when it will finally cause her death, but it will come.

I can't handle it. I want to help my mother, regardless of how often we disagree, and how angry I can be at her some times, I want to help. It feels like there's nothing that I can do, that I can say, to make any of this better. And when she dies; I don't know what is going to happen to my mother. If it comes sooner rather than later, this could be absolutely devastating.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do.
I don't know what I can do.

I'll believe in anything if you'll just believe in anything

This post was edited by Magnifico on Aug 11, 2004.

Aug 11, 2004 14:30 # 25325

gentledeepwaters *** replies...

Re: Faster than I am,

69% | 3

Can you find someone trained in grief counseling? Would she talk to them? Would she go with you to them? Does she have a friend she listens to? Perhaps tell that friend your concerns.

quis custodiet ipsos custodes?

Aug 11, 2004 15:27 # 25329

lostNdelerious *** has a suggestion...

Re: Faster than I am,

60% | 2

About four years ago my mom got sick with cancer. I made the mistake of becoming distant from her. I didn't know how to handle it so I just didn't talk to her very much. Then she died. That is the worst pain I've ever felt. It would be a good Idea for your Mom to stay close to her friend. Her friend probably needs her the most that she has ever needed her right now.
When my mom died I had my dad, my friends, and my family supporting me. Even though I wouldn't talk much about it it really helped knowing I could talk to them whenever I needed to. It wasn't easy and I went through alot of hurt and hardtimes because of it, but it really did help having them there. So definately love your mother as much as you can. Just try not to fight with her so much and make sure you tell her you love her and that you are there. Thats all you really can do.

when living and breathing is still overated in the eyes of the seeking.

Aug 11, 2004 16:47 # 25339

wizz *** replies...

Re: Faster than I am,

68% | 3

If you're searching of a clever thing to do, some magical words to say to change this situation: You probably won't find them. At least I couldn't, it's just nothing that can be expected from anybody.

But I firmly believe it's always better to say anything than to say nothing. To at least be there and endure (yes, literally endure) when your mom wants to talk or at least wants you to be there.

I can only wish both of you the strength to handle this!

'Repent, Harlequin!' said the Ticktockman. 'Get stuffed!' the Harlequin replied, sneering.

Aug 12, 2004 05:18 # 25368

Magnifico *** replies...

Re: Faster than I am,

76% | 3

Thanks so much for the sympathy and ideas, folks. I'm not sure about a grief counselor, or if one even works in my general area, but it's an idea. Thanks particularly, LnD, because I've been rather distant from my mother in general as of late, and you got me thinking about that. I suppose, at least, that I'm lucky to be able to serve as a shoulder to cry on when all else fails. I'll post anything else I hear on the matter. Thanks again, so very, very much.

I'll believe in anything if you'll just believe in anything

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