Reading lostNdelerious's journal

Aug 11, 2004 16:11 # 25332

lostNdelerious *** posts about...

Things that I have written

These are some of my writings.

Addicted to not feeling
Wishing i couldn't feel at all,
Wishing the blood would wash away it all,
It drips out but nothing changes,
It only merely rearanges,
The problems get harder,
The people get farther,
The friendships get weaker,
And the cuts just keep getting deeper.

Imperfect Drug
You look so dead
laying on the ground
with your eyes shut tight
no one else is around
drugs in your system
keeping you asleep
awaken paranoid
your in so deep

what do I do
I've never seen you this way
you've hidden this side well
this side I wish I never saw

You wanna stop now
You've seen the effect
relationships ruined
friendships you forgot
You cry because you need it
you want it so bad
you know that if you do it
the trust is gone that you had

Now your laying on the ground again
Your eyes shut tight
no one else is around
but your not alseep
the drugs you took
took you down to deep
I would cry over you
but Im to wore out
my emotions went numb
I've forgotten how to deal
Im used to blocking things out

what do I do
I've never seen you this way
you've hidden this side well
this side I wish I never saw

Two Things At Once
To feel alive would be a miracle
This dead heart beat is at its last
Remind me to breathe when you come around
I can't loose my mind, thats two things at once
Left with a goodbye, It wasn't that good
My imagination tells me that you'll be back soon
But I can't keep lying and carrying on
Cuz sooner or later you'll realize you were wrong

Fairy Tales of hopeless romantics
What a rip and Oh how I believed
every last word when you told me you loved me more than anything
We'd be here forever and die decrepid and old together

To feel alive would be a miracle
This dead body is growing tired
Remind me to fake a smile when you arrive
Cause I can't cry, that's to things at once
Said we always would be bestfriends
Was it your best when you stabbed me in my back
My imagination tells me that the wound has healed
That I would take you back in a second's notice
But I can't keep lying and carrying on
Cuz sooner or later you'll realize you were wrong

Fairy Tales of hopeless romantics
What a rip and Oh how I believed
Every last word when you told me you loved me more than anything.
We'd be here forever and die decrepid and old together

To feel alive would be a miracle
To leave you as a distant memory
To feel anything would be a miracle
To feel my heart isn't irreparable

Silent Tears
I hide silent tears that you will never see
Im to insecure to let anyone know me
This awkward feeling is always shadowing me
Ready to attack at a moments notice
Is this a cry for help?
Am I feeling sorry for myself?
Will no one listen?
Will no one care?
Forcing myself to wake up
Wondering where your love is
They say you never change
But sometimes I can't even talk to you
Sometimes I don't know what to say
Sometimes I feel numb
Sometimes I wanna give up
Sometimes I wanna scream at you
But there are too many people around
And yet again I just swallow it up
And yet again I just hold everything down

This is a cry for help
Yes this is me feeling sorry for myself
This is a sounding alarm
You might think to yourself.
Its just attention that this girl is seeking.
While I am thinking that Im needing a way out.
I need a way to forget all the disturbing thoughts.
Stop lying to me.
Stop trying to kill me.
Your not supposed to have this power.
He's supposed to be stronger in me.
Where are you?
I need you
And while I say this I'm pushing you away.
Why do I feel so crazy?
Why do I want to cut myself up?
Why do I want to burn myself?
Stab msyelf?
Can you tell me?
Is this a cry for attention?
Is this just me feeling sorry for myself?

when living and breathing is still overated in the eyes of the seeking.

This post was edited by lostNdelerious on Aug 11, 2004.


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