Reading hells_angel's journal

I should call up my grandmother this weekend and spend some time with her. I'm still ify about my dad. I blame him and my step dad both for my lack in good stable relationships.

I still think you can't trust men and it's starting to hurt me because I do want to trust my friend Dre but I can't. I'm scared if I trust him and he hurts me and whatever it will kill whatever hope I have in man. I should probably write them both a letter and tell them where they went wrong with me.

Sample:

dear jerk,
you weren't there for me and one day out of the blue when mom calls you to ask you something you make it out like you always wanted to have a relationship with me and my brother. but in my opinion you are a pussy whipped asshole who lets everyone else make desisions for you and because of that you ruined what could have been a good relationship with your daughter. thank you for never being there.

Sample 2:

dear alcoholic extradinaire,
you ruined my childhood with all the times you drank at holidays and drank on weekends when you weren't working. you made me think alcohol is bad and now that i'm almost 20 i realize it's not the alcohol that makes a person bad its the person themself. you remember all those fist fights we got into because I told you i didn't like it when you drank. You'd be happy to know I never told mom that. I only told her when you violated me and even then her first reaction (the one that counts) was "I don't believe you" you weren't there. I told her in tears and screaming on top of my lungs "Why the fuck would I make something like that up" and then only to find out when you threw me out of the house when I was 18 that you did it to your own flesh and blood. And you have enough nerve to wonder why she doesn't come around. How could you do that?

But in the end it won't be them who will see my succeed, it will be me who sees myself succeeding and they will wonder why I left them out. I hate them both, ok ok I don't hate them I just don't like either one of them that much and thats ok with me.

mom told me when i was born that life wasn't going to be easy and she wasn't perfect. i believe her. i mean come on who stays with someone like that.

Take your time don't live to fast troubles will come and they will pass