Reading Aynjell's journal

Call it talent, but I managed to loose all of my friends in one day. I was at the time attempting to become a part of their game design team, when they desided to pick me apart peice by peice. The decided my downsides were all teh sort of thing that rubbed them the wrong way. That was when one of them accused me of lying about my past.
How could he, I never lied to him, and he claimed that my lying to him arroused a deep hatred inside of him for me. How in the world could he come to the conclusion that I had lied to him, I mean, no one else besides my 'best' freind knew the details of what he spoke, which was of my darker past, and neither of them knew enough to even try to come to the conclusion that I had lied, which angers me to the bone.
I can't stand the fact they they, with all of their nerve, called me a social retard, them, one a hermit and the other such a big geek the only place he gets out to is the comic shoppe. If that is not the pot calling the kettle black, I don't know what is.
Ever since the incedent, I have decided to beat them at the market. To ruin their dreams of producing a best seller. I want to beat them to it, to show them what they gave up. They seemed to think I was worthless, but I will prove I am far from. They will go down.

I should be ashamed of myself.

Revenge eh? And when you have suceeded, then what?
When the next wound comes, then what? More revenge, more driving your self so that you can "prove them all wrong"

What does that do, except drive you? Revenge is not sweet, contrary to popular belief, it carries it's own payment.
If you drive to create something wonderful simply because it's in you to do so, than it's a good thing.

But doing something out of anger, so that someone else will fail only serves to show things inside that need to be adressed.

You can't controll what other people say or do, and they do some really shitty things at times, some things that should never be done. Nothing changes that from occuring, but how you deal with it, your response to it, that's all that's important.

I know that this was devistating to you, that's obvious from your words, but is what they did, and who they are worth doing something that may ultimately cause you deeper harm than their words?

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.

I suppose that you are right. I want to work on this project for both a bit of revenge and as a bit of my child hood dream to create.

Thankfully, I as a sole and sigular member of my now existent team, Aynjell Wingz, am going to be producing a game with a bit of realism and an overly granduer amount of sci fi fantasy. The story and game design ideas were born of my own creativity, and by all means this game will be good.

I can't wait until I learn enough to put this game into motion, but that will be a while from now. I think it will see the stores in a few years, oh how I wish it would be sooner though.

I should be ashamed of myself.