Reading jael's journal

<rant>

My best friend is gay. He's had a hard bloody time opening it up on account of what his friends reactions might be since he knows quite well enough that gays are frowned upon withen his social circle.

But eventually, one has to find out. And that's exaclty what happened. His so called friends..people whome he has been with since he was 12 (and he's 22 now) have "actually" stopped speaking to him, because what? He's gay? .. Because butt fucking is gross. Because the thought of holding another guy is your hands is just ... unthinkable and weird. Now he's being called "faggot" and "queer" by people who used to pat him on the back after winning a basketball game... It's really really a shame how narrow minded and pathetic human beings can be. I have this absolutely dispicable taste in my mouth when I see them.

Oh ... I'm not done yet. These particular friends apparently love it when two girls kiss and make-out *rolls eyes* So it's okay for lesbians .. but not okay if gays do so. How much more discriminating can a person GET?!

Ha! and it doesn't even end there! The girls who kiss each other are not even lesbians OR bisexuals .. .their just simply doing it to turn guys on. Christ! as if scandelous clothes and dirty dance movements arnt enough, they have to grope each other on the club floor!

</rant>

Inhale...exhale....inhale....exhale..... *sigh*

I don't get how some one can discriminate without reason just relying purely on hatred and some dumb beliefs..

Allright fine... I get the part where you can't understand why a guy is attracted to another guy. Or a girl to another girl or what ever it is... but jeeze .. why frown upon them? Why beat them up?

Some one asked my friend (the gay one), "How come you never told us you were gay, I mean, I am your friend and so I do have a right to know"
He answers "As long as I'm not sucking your cock or butt fucking you, it's none of your business."

I agree with you totally. If you don't like the idea of being gay, or a lesbian, than don't do it. I've had this arguement with my friends many times at lunch. Many people look down on a girl i've known all my life because she's a lesbian, and she's my sister's best friend. She's a very nice girl and she is always smiling. In short, i know that being attracted to the same sex, doesn't change who you are. My friend is living proof of that.

Good friends'll bail you out of jail.Best friends'll be sittin with you sayin;'Damn, we f*cked up'.

I agree with you totally. If you don't like the idea of being gay, or a lesbian, than don't do it. I've had this arguement with my friends many times at lunch.

Oh yes. Me too. Couldnt have expressed it better :)
Talking about homosexuality - there's also bisexuality, which I personally know is kinda worse. Not the 'being a bisexual'-part, but the 'being known as a bisexual' one.

Full stop.

If somebody else is interested in discussing this particular topic a bit further, I'm going on .. else not.

cu, w0lf.

Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign for a diseased mind!

Talking about homosexuality - there's also bisexuality, which I personally know is kinda worse. Not the 'being a bisexual'-part, but the 'being known as a bisexual' one.

I didn't know that .. and I dont really understand how bisexuality is bad.. care to elaborate?

I didn't know that .. and I dont really understand how bisexuality is bad.. care to elaborate?

It's not 'bad' - or at least it is as bad as being a monosexual. ;) but the harassments are higher, coming from both the hetero- and the homosexual side.

A simple example: Two of my female partners I was with did make this very offending, painful statement: 'I fear the day I find you in bed with a man' - nothing else could be more hurtful, more prejudiced. And they still dont have yet realized how harsh they have offended me.

This is the bad side, but then: I dont understand this 'either-or'-scheme - IMHO there is no such as something like monosexuality, there are only strong and not-so-strong tendencies to this and that side. So I agree absolutely with a similar theory by Mr. Sigmund Freud. Some say he aint eight with this, but then most of this 'some' arent bisexuals either ;P

cu, w0lf.

Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign for a diseased mind!

but the harassments are higher, coming from both the hetero- and the homosexual side.

Fortunatly I havent encountered with this problem yet..

'I fear the day I find you in bed with a man' -

I am really sorry that you'd have to hear that from some one you care about. Nothing is worse than someone that doesnt know and feel your loyalty toward them. Male or female.

About the "Either-or" scheme, your theory is interesting. But I do believe in monosexuality .. There are some people who are attracted to that one sex only .. so that strong tendancy of yours would be the monosexuality, would'nt it? Or does this waver and turn bi?

But I do believe in monosexuality .. There are some people who are attracted to that one sex only

Well, if you think so - best example against this theory is my former headmaster - he is (and tells you so, if you asked him) homosexual, but when he once was drunk/high (on cannabis) he made a hit on almost everybody, NOT only the male folks around him!
I think the possibility, the option to switch or even take part on both sides is always there, you're born with this, but depending on your personal development you turn this, that or the other way. This topic IMHO seems not to be enough scientifically explored, so discussing about it is kind of a bit useless - not useless at all, but I think you know what I mean. Both of us do have their own opinions and may make up/develop theories about monosexuality vs. bisexuality, but nobody would be right, ever. Both wrong and right, maybe.

so that strong tendancy of yours would be the monosexuality, would'nt it?

Obviously you havent followed my posts about this in the past. Choose any of the linked posts and read it (and the threads evolving around it). ;)

cu, w0lf.

Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign for a diseased mind!

Some people i know put a gay magazine under a straight guys bed in a dormatory, then when in a rough and tumble play fight they lifted his matress pretending to use it as a weapon, but stopped to pretend to see this magazine for the first time. They then told authorities they wished to not share a dorm with him as he looked at them and the other guys beat him.

He wasn't even gay. And if he was in a strange way i think he would have been stronger but he felt targeted and shot.

This happened a few years ago but it made me feel sick now i believe that certain authorities can be confidential so i told but this boy was bullied so much from everybody he left. How terribly sad. I know it can get worse than this but its just an example of how desperatly low a human being can be. How many times do you have to face discrimination.

Sadly i knew the plot, and dont judge me, becasue i was (past tense) friends with one of the ploters. Now i know my friend went a long with it but he came to me worried and so i show him my respect as i knew the other guys and the pressure they applied when they wanted to. Now a lot of my friends are gay and i'm not too sorry for your friend as he has you, screw those guys those festuring turds of human beings its not their fault its what made them. And dont let your friend take "screw those guys" too seriuosly, only messing. Hope your friend gets over it soon and relises strength is in truth and does it really matter what they say about him, as everyone says why would you want to be friends with those who say and do what they do. On your side mate!

Can't think what to say...

There's something else I don't get.. Bullying just for the fuck of it .. or because you know the other kid it weaker than you in some way or the other ...

I've been there.. I've been bullied and I've also been the most wanted girl (not trying to brag or anything). But never in my life have I ever belittled someone unless they have provoked me in some way or the other..

Children can be so cruel sometimes... teenagers to be more specifically ... I keep wondering what kind of adults they grow up to be .. will they still continue belittle people because it gives them the sense of power, or what ever kind of twisted adrenaline rush they get.. I'll never understand it .. neither do I want to ..

Because you know the other kid it weaker than you in some way or the other

yea thats what it is weakness, its a bitch, if the fox should find it out for some reason that the rabbit is weak it is that for the rabbit. Did you know that if a lion was to attack you and you protected yourself by holding the lions paws for example and showed no fear then it is believed that the lion will go away, thankfully i cant speak from experience but isnt it the same thing with the person being bullied and the person bullying. Maybe not as extreme and yet maybe more extreem it depends on how desperste the fox is right?

But you cant expect people to not show their fears, spoken word is just a mere 5-10% of communication, therefore people will show their emotions through the other 90-95% ways of communicating.

But ruling out bullying depends on not just hiding fear or not showing their weakness, no. Its also a big part on the bully. They need to either see what the effects can be and if that doesnt work what ever they might be (the effects) they need something prehaps something as simple as love (not that love is simple dont get me wrong i know its not) but everyone needs love in some form but not everyone gets it therefore they cant see pain they are causing.

I keep wondering what kind of adults they grow up to be

this depends on them alone, even if they meet someone its not them that will change them its if they let them change them. I know some great people (who ever they are?) That told me how they bullied people, for example my local vicar. It happens.

Can't think what to say...

This post was edited by shakylegs on Oct 19, 2004.

I understand both of these topics, and it really doesn't stop there. Jael, you wrote a very thoughtful heartfelt post. ***Clapping*** Human nature seems to be filled with all kinds of pre-judgment, prejudices, and bullying flaws. I find it humorous that when the majority of us are up on top of life and we are the center of attention, then we tend to forget everyone else and their feelings. We get this attitude of superiority over others. People seem to be less valuable when all is going well with our lives. Their personal feelings are second to our own. Oh no! Then we experience those moments where we fall off the likeability chart. The times when everything goes wrong in life, and we are just another person that hit hard times. Questioning why God or life chose “me” in making an example. We need people then, we need comfort and reassurance then. I am guilty of doing it. Many people are guilty of it. Some just will not admit to being that selfish. Others truly haven't a clue of their selfish faults.
Then you have these individuals who never stepped in someone else's shoes. They are quick to ridicule others because of the difference in race, sexuality, style, gender, the list can go on and on. I always wanted to be able to say “abra kadabra”, wave my hands, and then the script would flip. These "better than others" would finally witness the struggles in being the singled out person. However as much as I wish, I do not possess that power. People will continue to belittle others that they do not fully understand. I believe the people that are guilty of belittlement, struggle with their own insecurities and fears. The sad thing is; as long as we are human, we will always have our own personal flaws, and as long as we have these flaws, some of us will continue to tear down others so we feel better about ourselves. Instead of embracing individuality, we tend to attempt in converting people into the majority.
(I am a heterosexual Latin male. I believe that someone’s sexuality is their own business. I do not discount a persons life because they are different from me. Hell, who am I to judge!)
** "Now class the word BULLY."
I grew up fighting. I always caught myself sizing up the bullies. I despise bullies. They use their strengths and prey upon the weaknesses of others. They find enjoyment humiliating others. I remember the grade school and high school days, where humility equaled death of school life. Nothing seemed worse than being picked on at school. Life as “we” knew it, was over. I wonder why some people become the BULLY. Are they molded to pick on people, to purposely start shit? Or do they acting out because they were abused when they were young? I cannot count the number of fights I have been in with so call bullies, and you cannot forget their little entourage. The individuals that hang out with these bullies, thinking they are just as tough, but really they are even more pitiful. I remember giving them some of their own medicine, and then they ran off to the big boy, crying. Where I grew up, there isn't such a thing as a fair fight. Oh yeah you would start out fighting one on one, but then all their little bully buddies join in. Bunch of cowards if you ask me.
Now, none of us are saints. We all at some point in our lives have been the BULLY or the JOKER. The majority of us poked fun at someone else because they were in some way “different” from us. Or we felt that we would fit in with the “popular” crowd if we ridiculed someone less fortunate. Yet, many of us realized how it felt when it was us that received the jokes and ridicule. Life has a strange way of teaching life lessons.

As history shows us, it has always been Aces over Kings

This post was edited by havananights on Oct 20, 2004.

I think you've said it all there.. and I don't have to say anymore :)

I guess it makes it all worthwhile when I find people like this in my life .. (virtual or real) to show that there is still some sort of sanity in this practically insane world ..

=)