Reading Poetry

I sit here reliving my dreadful past,
wishing I could leave it all behind me.
I recall the evil deeds I have committed,
and I cry, seeking an inner safety.

I huddle up, into a fetal position,
and release the rage inside me.
letting go of the hate I have for myself,
and I cry, wishing I could be free.

I remember those that loved me,
those that trusted me, and those that I betrayed.
Those that were family,and those that looked up to me.
and I cry, because I pushed them all away.

I think of what I did, I violated them.
how could they forgive me? I don't want them too,
What I did, can never be forgotten,
and I cry, because of what I put them through.

I sit here in my prison, knowing I'm where I belong,
I want to live like others do, those without my turmoil,
but I can't find their solace or thier comfort,
and I cry, because I am the cause of all thier foils.

I cry, because I have hurt those I loved.
I cry, because I can never forget.
I cry, because neither will they,
and I cry, because I can't live with this.

God can you help me, I've ruined people's lives,
In my desire for love, I've dirtied their souls.
In my selfishness I hurt those who needed me,
and I cry, because I've darkened this world.

~fin

I'm sorry, but don't forgive me. What I did was unspeakable, and merrits aboslutely no mercy. How can I make your lives better? What can I do to ease your pain, because it hurts me, that I hurt you. I'm sorry I wasn't your brother, when I should have been, and I'm sorry I didn't make this world any easier for you...
Please, live a happy life, because you deserve to be have all that I took from you. I wish I could give it all back, and take the burden I placed on you. I want to heal your scars, but I have realized I am only able to make them...
I'm sorry...

I should be ashamed of myself.