Reading shakylegs's journal

Normally I can’t be this open and give names I know I used to be able to before things happened and I wasn't as aware as how sometimes certain people just shouldn’t know how you feel. And sometimes they should know straight away.

I haven’t written that many posts and so I don’t know if I have ever mentioned Joey. To you he is just another small black word that although may stir some emotion, is meaningless but to me he is all that has made sense, because even the things that make sense at first never are. Sometimes I want to cry because the length of time I was with him is nothing compared to how long I have spent with other people but I have never been able to understand those people like I do Joey, and not just understand him but completely and utterly love him.

I love so much how we met it hurt a lot I’m glad I couldn’t ski, but damn it was worth it! I was skiing with a party of 36 people and I was really the beginner of the whole group. The people were so supportive and took their time with me, especially my rep carol, she took care of me. On the third day out there I had really got the hang of things and so I told carol to go off and met some of her Austrian friends while I joined my friends, but as you have predicted I fell, I fell and I fell. Not just a little bit but so bad I couldn’t move at the top an Austrian alp, a ski buggy thing had to take me down.

I was in a different country don’t know word of Austrian let alone German and I was so scared that I would have had to have gone home. I was taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital which was about an hour away and two hours from my hotel. On the way carol (my rep) stayed with me and she comforted me, until she told me when we get to the hospital she could only stay a while. So she called her friend another rep to join us and she told me that they (her friend) would drive me back to the hotel. So a stranger, great, really not impressed, but more so in pain.

I was lying in a curtained hospital cubical and unable to move properly, 5 German doctors, all speaking German very fast took my ski trousers off and of all the days to be wearing the skimpiest little panties. I say no more it wasn’t fun, tears rolling down my face from pain and embarrassment just as I thought it couldn’t get any worse, carol pulled back the curtain with JOEY standing there (bless him he tried not to look). Anyway finally I got covered up and Joey came over to me and said something like “dude, what happened”, I smiled. Arghhhhhhhhh he was so gorgeous also in his ski outfit, his Austrian accent topped it off, he was, well I was In love, he smiled back at me and I know its so corny but I looked at him so hard that we both got lost in the moment, I knew he liked me too, it was awkward but I had honestly forgotten about my leg.

Joey carried me on one side while we left the hospital together and alone, I was limping but the support helped a lot, never knew what really happened didn’t break my leg, but was badly, badly twisted or something. So on the way back a two hour journey we spoke about everything and nothing, we flirted like I have never flirted before and every now and then he glanced at me as though he wanted to pull the car over and just well I say no more.

When we neared the hotel he said he was glad he met me and sorry that I couldn’t ski for the rest of the trip, and I said ditto and wanted to say I’m glad I fell otherwise I wouldn’t have met you, I didn’t as to be honest it would have ruined the moment. When we pulled up by the hotel he helped me up the stairs and at the door we gave an awkward hug and said our goodbyes, he walked down the steps love of life just a few steps away. WAIT, don’t worry it doesn’t end there, he turned and walked back up and said, “you are with carol’s group yeah”, I was and the reason he asked me was that there was a planned leaving party for his group and carols group at a club nearby. He wanted to tell me how he would look forward to seeing me again and then he walked away got into his car and left, I walked through the main lobby found a small corner and if I didn’t have a bad leg I would have been all over the place screaming, it was perfect.

The next few days were so long I had to stay on the coach as I couldn’t ski and I also couldn’t stop thinking about him and Thursday night. When I saw him that night across the dance floor my first thought was, how long have we got? I remember looking at my watch we had to leave at 12pm and it was 10pm, two hours would we even get talking by then, we did straight away and it gets better due to my bad leg I couldn’t dance so he stayed with me the whole time, we flirted some more, he told me I couldn’t stop thinking about me and how he couldn’t believe we had just a few hours left. When we were told we had to get ready to leave he grabbed me and kissed me, and oh my god. I was complete just then!

We exchanged numbers and we spoke nearly everyday online and well it was then when I realised I have t o see him again. Its planned for next year he is coming over now when we talk it seems weird as we now know we are going to see each other and well I’m afraid it will ruin it. Or maybe it will give us a chance to fulfil everything we spoke about before hand. I miss you Joey this post was for you!
I have another secret but I didn’t want to ruin this story but I will tell another time

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