Reading shakylegs's journal

I just got off a web cam converstion with someone i fell in love with, knew him for about 4 hours, then we spoke everyday on msn. He is coming to see me. But i dont want to see him, not now that i'm going to. It will ruin what we have had
he said he wants to marry me and i have always wanted to be with him but its been too long and we are different now then we were then. Should i tell him not to come and if so how can i do that and i know if i did i would always regret it.

Its hard for me i'm scared of getting close to guys but maybe
thats why its good he wants to come i can get over that fear.

I'm so fed up with people telling me to stop looking for the one. I'm not. I just want to believe its possible he is out there, so out there that when we find each other he will out ride any fear i hold. But i'm not searching i'm waiting, but because of past i cant have fun before that.

Everyone here always has an answer to help or a reason or comment, it always seems they know you or your problem or believe but sometimes i think they are so wrong, maybe not maybe its me. I know i'm not always right no one is but sometimes it does or doesnt help to get someones opinion sometimes it makes it worse.
Who knows what will happen right?

Can't think what to say...

Everyone here always has an answer to help or a reason or comment, it always seems they know you or your problem or believe

All that other people can give you is their opinion and advice (and, in my case, some random babble :-P ). What you do with it is your decision, because ultimately it's your life. In any case I wish you good luck with your friend.

"God is dead." - Nietzsche, 1882 "Nietzsche is dead." - God, 1900

This post was edited by null on Oct 19, 2004.

I know I always bable and I know what you are saying, and to be honest most the time I'am looking for something an answer or advice I already know the answer or what I should do, its just a comfort to hear it from someone else, do you know what I mean?

Can't think what to say...