Reading Saqqara's journal

I got to thinking about all the things I've done over the past 2 years attending college, and I realized, some of them have been pretty downright mean.

I remember it was raining one morning and I was headed to class. On the corner, there was a Gideon, peddling off bibles to people walking by. If any of you know me, you'll know that I could care less about religion, and the books that go with it, especially the bible. So as I walk by, the Gideon thrusts this little red Old Testament in my face and tells me, "God bless you."

I ignore him and continue walking, leaving the bible in his hand. I figured he'd watch me leave and give the bible to the next person coming along. Nooo, as everyone knows, Gideons are persistant. This one starts following me down the sidewalk, "Ma'am... Ma'am.. please, have a Testament.. Ma'am." I shake my head and continue walking, but he doesn't give up and continues after me. What do I do? I turn around and wait for him to finally catch up to me. He thrusts the bible at me again, to which I push it away. "No. I don't need it. I'm a Buddhist. Now, if you'll kindly leave me be, I won't wish any bad karma on you."

I know that was a really, really horrible thing for me to do, but it made me smile, and I didn't have to cart a red book with me around all day, only to throw it somewhere in my dorm and have it buried under clothes or dust. I fended off a Gideon!

My other despicable act came when a guy from Nigeria just wouldn't leave me alone. I had had a class with him and had helped him understand some of what we were doing. It was a literature class, and he was having trouble with understanding the Illiad. After that, I figured I had seen the last of him, but noooo. He somehow figures out my room number and constantly calls me. It was like Nigerian scam emails... only in person. It finally got so bad, that I would go downstairs to go to class, and he'd be in the lobby, wanting to "walk me to class."

I figured I had made it painfully clear that I was not interested in him by hanging up several times when he called. He didn't get the message. Finally, that day, I snapped. I yelled at him in the lobby, in front of the desk worker, and a few others, "WHY WON'T YOU LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M A LESBIAN! I PREFER THE COMPANY OF WOMEN!". I didn't hear back from him, and apparently, that trick works pretty well. Although a few folks in the building avoided me from that point on, I never heard from the Nigerian again. I got a good kick out of that one too.

(No, I'm not a Buddhist lesbian.)

"It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one's doubts."

This post was edited by Saqqara on Nov 18, 2004.

You're not mean, you little teddy bear you!

Seriously, there are plenty of worse thing one can do. The actions you displayed were merely a result of a conflict between your desire to remain docile and your need for safety and or comfort. Both situations made you uncomfortable, and both solutions were quite simply un aggressive.

Niether of them spurred on more aggragation, and neither of which hurt thier feelings. Both of which were funny though...

XD

Anyway, don't think down on yourself, and even if you were a buddhist lesbian, you'd still be my mean gideon and nigerian hatin' ass freind!

I should be ashamed of myself.

I've never met a gidion in person. But the desire to be left alone, that I have met in person.

To get on with the day, only to find someone or somthing that won't let you do what you want.

To have an intruption to your focus, what ever it may be...the filp side of that is the time that comes that you want company and you may find your self not real particular about who or what it is, and it doesn't come.

Life has a way of giving us what we want...we lay the ground work and the rest happens.

But that's off somewhere in the future. Not today. Not here. Not now.
Your actions simply were of the moment in which you wished not to participate in what was being offered. That was a choice, and for all I know your choice most of the time is to be left alone.
Only you know you well enough to know that. You may have your circle of friends which you never ventrue far from. And that is enough for you.

It's ok not to want something. And it's definately ok not to want the attention of someone who is pushing themselves on you.

Just a few wandering thoughts. Not that they matter or anything, just a few thoughts is all.

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.