Reading What Sucks

Dec 04, 2004 06:30 # 29776

Anonymous rants...

Please

82% | 2

Well i am just wondering, if theres any guys reading this post please answer this!

I am a girl i am 12, so i am interested in guys, well you are here are older i guess then i am, so you know how it happeneds.

I have straight A's i am from another country, but i know english well, but all guys doesnt wanna talk to me cauze of that, but i speak with all girls, and they said that i am good at it, i am from germany.
I am listening to other people talks to learn more, you know like what music they like and what movies they like, because music that is popular in germany, sucks here. I am a good singer wishing to have a career in this kind of business.
I like one guy from my school in South Carolina, he was really popular and everyone loves him but now they hate his cause i dont know he went out with one girl from that popular kids group and broke up with her, and now he is a loser in my class. BUT all high school just loves him, i mean he has many friends there, he is 13 like i am, and he already had sex with 5 girls, and now he has a girfriend maybe he is lieing couse no one saw here before, he was only talking that she is older than he.
Sometimes i talk to him, i hate days without him, he misses school a lot, he is smart, but still getting F's in some classes. He is always hanging out with high school hirl even that they have boyfriends!! its driving me crazy!
I like him a lot. Sometimes he talks to me, and i am so happy when he does. I am dreaming about hijm every night, and it feels so real in my dreams, how we kiss... Then i go school and ...he is there with high school, somebody said that he likes me, but i think he better went out with a girl from high school than with me.

Now you need to help me!

Do you think its OK if i:

Live in appartment with my mom and grandma and theres only 2 rooms
They dont give me money at all, only for shopping, but for school.
My mom wants to know all about my friends, where i go with whom, and when i am gonna be back
i have a cellfone, but i can use it only to call my mom, couz it free.
I cant go to a late parties, and i f i go to any party my mom needs to talk to there parents if it ok, and do some kind of a meeting
we have an old, ugly car and everyone has a cool ones
I cant go out with boys alone
IF EVER i would my mom is gonna talk to his parents and him , when where and what time, and i cant show up in this ugly car...
I am cool and pretty girl.
Sometimes i wanna be with him whatever is going to happened, but sometimes i just dont feel like i wanna talk with anybody especialy with him in the morning when i am sleepy and broken but later i cant help how bad i want him!!!!
Say what to do, if its ok? And what to do with my mom?

Jan 23, 2005 09:42 # 31767

DorianWildeGray *** replies...

Re: Please

93% | 4

Yes i am a guy ^^,
And to let you know i ran acrost your post on Google.com, and your plea for someones responce that i sighned up for netalive.org JUST because i wanted to respond to this!

Ok first off i am a huge fan of German, i love the german language, one day i hope to learn it!
You say your 12-13 years old, first off thats a bit young to be thinking of things like this but you already have so theres not much i can do about that.

You sound very sweet and a wonderful person, however this guy does not sound like a person for you! I would say your "in love" but your not, you are in "Lust" and lust is short lived and ends with heartbreak and sadness... ALWAYS!
However there also seems to be hints of Love for him so thats good.

This guy i would recomend staying away from, ESPESALY if he has had sex with women already (Wow 13 years old and aldready having sex, thast unbelivable) Because if you try to go to him with your love, he will "seem to love you" when in reality he will be after only one thing... sex.... and sex is goal of lust. So here is what whould most likely happen.

You come to him and tell him about your love for him,
He would most likely convince you that he "also loves you"
But this would be just so he can have sex with you.
The best way to test love in this sinario is one of two things!

A: emagine yourself 60 years from now and if you were married, would you be happy with him even though he is old and ragady and proabably realy ugly. Would you still be with him if he was paralized and could never get out of a bed for the rest of his life? If he had his face eaten off by some thing and he looked like a monster... would you still love him. IF you say yes... then thats a sighn of true love.

B: If he tryes to get you to have sex with him, and you say "If you wait for 5 years, then we can have sex" if he loves you he will wait, if he doesnt he will leave iratated. proof of Lust... Lust has little paceients.

C: Would he sacrafice ever having sex with you, and become celabit just to be with you for who you are! THAT IS TRUE LOVE!
Some one who is willing to sacrafice over there lust, just to make you happy.

Also you should not care what people think of you, you have to be who you are!
Having cool cars and going to parties is short lived and has no love in it. You do those things and think that way and you will end up sad and lonly confused and hoples.

So HERE IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO!

With this guy, you seem to love him very much, and if you truly love him you will try to save him from rewining his life though lust. Ask him testing questions of his goals for the future, and would he sacrafice anthing for one woman.

With your mom,... for the moment nothing... She is very wise in the fact she is trying to protect you from ending up sad and with broken a heart and broken body. Prove to her you understand what things are empty in life such as wanting to be noticed and wanting to have sex, and all that stuff. You show her your wisdom she will let you lose on her hold on you. But that would also mean you would have to prove you.

Your a wonderful girl, however i think you need to realize some things about life before you get destroyed by them.
So be yourself, and have people hate you or love you for it! Then you will find true love.

Did that help, if you dont understand some things just tell me and ill try to explain them difrently!

PS: I am 20-21 years old, im a guy, and i also have one i dream of and long for every night.... every night i cry for her.... wish her happyness... i loved her so much i gave her up, so that she could live a happy life... and that is true love. That is what love realy is. And i will make shure she will have her dream guy if its not me than so be it, then i will find her some one who she does diserve. Just want you to think what would come out of this

Jan 23, 2005 10:40 # 31771

rosyxxx *** replies...

Re: Please

?% | 1

Your description of what true love is, is truly beautiful. And true. To quote Doll Sneerpiece, in Jeanette Winterson's Sexing the Cherry... "Very right. Very true."

Very good advice. I don't think I could add much more... except that I think some people mistake lust for love, because they have never known true love.

The questions you posed: Would you still 'love' someone if they were old and gnarly, if they were paralyzed, or if they were disfigured... are good questions. Lust can't stand up to that kind of love.

Between you and me... I too, have someone I let go of to let him be with someone I thought was better for him. He is now tentatively back in the picture, and I've asked myself these same questions... as well as... knowing that pregnancy is life-threatening for me, would I risk having a child with him? Yes. With medical assistance. Would I move to Podunk, USA to be with him? Yes. Would I quit my job right now for him? Yes.

Would I lose him to someone else again, if that is what he wanted? Yes. Do I get selfish sometimes and hurt when he accidentally ignores me... yes. Am I human? Yes. Do I love him with all my heart? Yes. Unequivocably.

But, that isn't to say that sex for sex sake isn't fun. It just isn't something that you do when what you want is love. Trading sex for love is a classic way that women hurt themselves.

And like you said, a lot of guys will pretend to woo you, when all they want is nookie. Giving it up won't change that lust into love for him, and if he is already promiscuous, he likely isn't about to let himself fall in love anytime soon.

And if he is getting Fs, and he is smart, then he is careless and reckless, and a bad influence. But then, again, when we women are young we always seem to go for the 'bad boys', don't we? *sighs*

If mountain goats like living at high elevations, why do none live in high rise apartment buildings?

This post was edited by rosyxxx on Jan 23, 2005.

Jan 23, 2005 11:04 # 31774

andromacha *** throws in her two cents...

Re: Please

But, that isn't to say that sex for sex sake isn't fun. It just isn't something that you do when what you want is love. Trading sex for love is a classic way that women hurt themselves.
And like you said, a lot of guys will pretend to woo you, when all they want is nookie. Giving it up won't change that lust into love for him, and if he is already promiscuous, he likely isn't about to let himself fall in love anytime soon.
And if he is getting Fs, and he is smart, then he is careless and reckless, and a bad influence. But then, again, when we women are young we always seem to go for the 'bad boys', don't we? *sighs*

Heck, yes! When we girls are young, often we go after the wrong guy. And also some of us (me too) have this kind of idea of redeeming the guys who are "bad boys". It happened to me too in high school: I helped him to study, and I had to listen to everytime he would tell me how he went out and had sex with this or that girl...

When finally I realized that he was just a jerk, stupid, a**hole was the last year of high school. He had come to study at my house as usual, and my parents weren't there. They have always trusted me not to do idiot things though, so I have never had the problem of this girl. Anyway, that afternoon I found out that instead of studying, he came to my house just to get in my pants. And he was trying to do that in a very awkward way too!! This told me that:

A) He was a jerk for trying to do that, when he had always told me that in any case there could have been only sex between us, because he didn't want a serious relationship, and I replied him that I was not interested in sex (only).

B) That probably he was the biggest liar I have ever met... I mean, for one who brags about having sex here and there, and then being so awkward and incapacitated to actually try...

Want to know how it ended? I let him out of my apartment with his belt in his hands and with getting nothing from me. And I am proud of my choice!

To this young girl, I suggest to stay away from that guy. If he says such things, he surely is not the right one you want to be with. If he actually had sex and he's only 13... well then, I have no words! I did that quite late (19) according to most of the girls I knew in my high school class, but 13 is definitely too early. And if he is just bragging about, and never actually did anything... well you need to stay away from such a person anyway. You wouldn't want a liar, one who just wants to boost himself and such as a companion.

Probably I am one of those romantic persons who believe that sex is good only when there is love. I have never tried sex without love, so I can't really say. Though, I can tell that for me it is inconcievable to have sex with someone I don't love and who doesn't love me back as much as I do.
And I do believe that having sex should not be done by 13 years old. Two people should make love when they know what love & sex really are; they can then decide if they want to just have sex or if they want to have both. At any rate, I don't believe that a 13 year old is mature enough to understand the distinction, simply because there are certain things that he/she hasn't lived/tried/experienced yet.

It seems to me that all the suggestions here are more or less the same: Stay away from that guy. I do too agree on that. Stay away from him... but I will add this: try to think about the whole situation. Are you sure you "love him" so incredibly much and you are not:

A) just wanting to "redeem" this guy.
B) like him physically, but physically only.
C) picking him, because you want a boyfriend and it seems to you that he's attractive enough to be that one? With this I mean, are you sure you're not just looking for a boyfriend just to have one? Consider that being in a relationship normally should imply certain responsibilities (yes, even when you are only 13). Are you sure you can take these responsibilities?

I hope that this post, as well as the others, helped you. In any case, the reply can be found only in yourself.

Un bacio un'apostrofo rosa scritto tra le parole "ti amo".

This post was edited by andromacha on Jan 23, 2005.

Jan 23, 2005 11:58 # 31777

rosyxxx *** replies...

Re: Please

Un bacio e un'apostropho rosa scritto tra le parole "ti amo".

Is that apostropho as in 'pause'?..... Between the words love and you? My Italian is rusty.

I think I got the rest of it. Kisses are good. Especially chaste ones planted on the cheek.

Ah. Romance. DorianWildeGray and I were just chatting about how romance seems to be a lost art. We each have watched our true loves walk away...

I am shouting to my Heathcliff across the moors. Pun intended... since apparently I have some Moorish background. So I guess I shall blow my true love a kiss across the centuries as well. I feel as if I have known him all my life, and before, as well.

By the way, everything is romantic, and the kisses are on the cheek. And it is lovely just like that. Though someday more would be nice too.

So, to our young girl, I'd say, yes, listen to everyone's advice and wait. It isn't condescending to say that you are much too young. Wait to unwrap the present. It isn't time yet.

Wait until you know the difference between sex with love, and sex without it... like andromacha says...

Let the first time be with someone you not only love, but who loves you. I have had sex without love, and it is nothing compared to what it is with love. Not to mention that it can wrench your insides apart to know that someone does not care for you, but is willing to take from you what they will not give.

Romance and chivalry are not dead... I say!!!!

Hear! Hear!

And hats off to you andromacha, for standing your ground.

If mountain goats like living at high elevations, why do none live in high rise apartment buildings?

Jan 23, 2005 12:44 # 31780

andromacha *** replies...

Apostrofo is...

No, an apostrofo is simply an apostrophe... you know the symbol ' :) As in I am = I'm :)

I don't know where that quotation comes from, but it is quite popular... Actually I am sure that at the time I chose it as quotation I even knew where it came from, but now I can't recall :P

Un bacio un'apostrofo rosa scritto tra le parole "ti amo".

Jan 24, 2005 01:20 # 31802

DorianWildeGray *** replies...

Re: Please

60% | 2

I would definatly agree ^^: HEAR HEAR

Wait until you know the difference between sex with love, and sex without it... like andromacha says...
Let the first time be with someone you not only love, but who loves you. I have had sex without love, and it is nothing compared to what it is with love. Not to mention that it can wrench your insides apart to know that someone does not care for you, but is willing to take from you what they will not give.
Romance and chivalry are not dead... I say!!!!
Hear! Hear!

Definatly intiresting perseptive i never thought about... i kind of had the mentality that sex is only for one thing and one thingo only and that is reproduction. nothingmore than an animal instinct... however with this statement you clearly show that there is some thing else, that sex was made for love...
my guess is that it would be the ultamate bond, a moment were your souls become one... However its my belif that if sex requires "birth control" if you have to control it unaturaly then some thing is worng.....

... your exprence realy makes me wonder now

This post was edited by DorianWildeGray on Jan 24, 2005.

Jan 24, 2005 02:12 # 31810

DorianWildeGray *** replies...

Skcus Tahw

60% | 2

Thank you, explained it exactly what i needed to say.

And i think its so much better its coming from some one with personal expreence. Im sorry you had to go though that. Y_Y Those types of guys make it hard for normal guys or sesative guys because women have to fear every man now. Gilty intill proven inocent. Personaly i think if guys are going to do that then they diserve to be punished. but thats just me...

Wish we could go back to the olden days when men and women respected eachother.... and there was that respect of where you were supose act like in honor to the other sex. Even if dramatic its an honorsystem. Men and women could woo eachother with knowing that there word is there bond, and they would be truthfull and honest,...

Jan 23, 2005 16:58 # 31793

DorianWildeGray *** replies...

Bravo

49% | 4

Beautifuly put!
Thats the truth isnt it, Y_Y the constnant battle in the mind when you give up the one you love. Constantly fighting off the selifsh desires, and wanting them for yourself.
Why is it that true love ends like this... and the false loves get the temporary satisfaction... doesnt seem fair realy. But true love seems always to be put to the test. and the more it strugles to stay the stronger and warmer it becomes. Its like the movies, and the 1/110000 chance that the one you love loves you back, its always after all the strugles and adventure that they realy love eacther, after the fire the true elements come out the other side.

And talk about love right there, life threatning to give a child, yet you would do it anyways, out of love. Rosyxxx and i are definatly alike in that we would do anthing for the one we love. Even if it means our own suffering for there peace.

i supoze there is another test for true love, would you willingly do what i do, and that is give it all up and be willingly waiting to sacrafice anything for the one you love like rosyxxx described. And constatnly take the burdens of life for your love so that they could have peace. And yet never let them know that you were the one who saved them from "almosts" would you sacrafice every last moment of your life for your love even if they didnt know you were doing it.

Awsome responce Rosyxxx, took the words out of my mouth and made them make sence

Jan 24, 2005 02:24 # 31814

ginsterbusch *** replies...

Re: Please

?% | 1

Your description of what true love is, is truly beautiful. And true. To quote Doll Sneerpiece, in Jeanette Winterson's Sexing the Cherry... "Very right. Very true."

This topic is especially very nice cause I just recently saw a movie/documentation (about 3 days ago) called 'Liebe!' (in english: 'Love!') which was about 5 couples, including their 'ex-es', talking about their thoughts and experiences with love, how parents reacted and still are reacting to this, what is real love and what is just 'having a crush on', etc.

A very good differenciation between love and 'having a crush on'/lust ('Liebe' vs. 'Verliebt sein') was this: Love develops over some period of time and is not only a simple attraction to somebody, but contains more, like being there for the other person in that relationship, if she/he needs you, helping each other, etc., while just having a crush on someone doesnt hold on very long. So loving somebody is contaminated with some thought, maybe even ideals and generally does tend to establish a working, open-minded relationship while lust does nothing of that - it's simply about satifying your lust, ie. a very egoistic pattern and has nothing to do with above said fair balance between each partner.

Let's have a real life example, too: in end of 2002/begin of 2003, I came together with a girl of whom I thought she'd be my first AND true love (btw: That relationship didnt hold on for long - maybe 2-3 months). This I was still thinking when I did my first visit to my by now all and everything - but thanks to being with her since begin of Oct' 2004, I'm thinking (and talking) about redefining this statement: possibly that above mentioned girl was my first love, but not my TRUE love. Actually it was a mainly sex-based relationship, whilest my current one is a relationship based on trusting each other, accepting each other (simply as you are, nothing more, nothing less), and finally, yes, there's love, and yes, there's (good) sex. But it is LIGHTYEARS ahead of that first mentioned relationship.

The only fact that's stressing both of us is that we live 240 km away from each other ('bout 150 miles). She cant simply move over here, cause she's still going to school and of course wants to finish it properly, so I keep thinking about how to manage it to get a bit closer to where she lives.

Okay, that's for the real-life example - now's your turn! :D

cu, w0lf.

Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign for a diseased mind!


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