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I'm going insane. Slowly and inexorably with every second I spend in any retail establishment it creeps into my brain with an insipid evil that is the envy of all those who seek to do harm.

Yes, it's that damn Christmas music. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not referring to the classics, sung in 4 part harmony. I mean the covers done by second rate artists in some style that they don't fit. For instance I heard Silent Night done in a Hip Hop style that was just plain bad.

But even the classics get pounded into you with such a frequency that you end up hating everything about it.

And what about the people? What is it that makes everybody so damn insane and obnoxious? It's just a holiday. It's nice and it's about family so why do you have to clog up my commute by flooding my coffee store and the roads. I used to love this holiday, I really did.

I just want a latte and maybe a good snog.

I know I'm dead on the surface But I'm screaming underneath

Dashing through the snow
On a pair of broken skis
Down the hill I go
Smashing into trees (ow ow ow!)
The snow is turning red
I think I'm almost dead
I'd rather spend my holidays
In a hospital bed, oh

Jingle bells, my leg swells
Hurting all the way
Hemorrhaging, makes everything
Just slowly fade away...

You're here, aren't you? You're talking to me, aren't you?

This post was edited by Bunk on Dec 06, 2004.

*cracks up*

its not too different in Hong Kong you know.. I mean .. we got girls in really thick chinese accents singing christmas carols ALLL THE WAY.

I mean come on!

its Merry Christmas nor Melly Chismas!

Foosh... Aaughh!!... Foosh... Aauuggghh!! - Cold spray deodorant

That's really funny. I can't stand holiday specific music, regardless of who sings it. It's just plain annoying, I mean, I want to hear meaningful music; not things about santa or whatever. It just annoys me is all...

I should be ashamed of myself.

Being a vocal performance major at a fine arts school, I sympathize with you. My choral group has been rehearsing christmas tunes since October. Recently, when a tenor friend of mine expressed how irritated he was with our repertoire, I threatened to carol outside his bedroom window. He replied, and I quote, "Do it. I'll pee on you. Do not test me on this. I will pee on you."

I've organized a large group of friends to carol next week. There's no way he could possibly hit all of us.

out like lightening

Now, the classic christmas music I like. For instance, there was nothing like going to candle mass in St. Patrick's in NYC to listen to the choir. I'm not Catholic or anything like that but that music is beautiful.

I even sang in a choral for a few years that did Messiah from start to finish. That was a mazing to be a part of that thunder of music, blending voices.

I know I'm dead on the surface But I'm screaming underneath

The music in my opinion is only background noise compared to the shittiness of actually working at a retail job during the Christmas Season (or as I call it Mass Histeria).

I work at Dollar General. Thankfully our manager loves us enough not to make us listen to Horrible Holliday Fuckups. The insanity begins with me the first time I hear some little monster push the play button on a doll that sings "Jesus Loves me", this occurs roughly five minutes into my shift. They push the button up to twenty times a piece and go through the damn things like wild fire.

Then there's the asshole that comes in and demands to know if I'll give him a discount on some broken glass thing that costs roughly a buck. They're then followed by masses of people buying very, very ugly wrapping paper. We also unfortunately sell glass santa containers 2/$1.00. The line starts to stack because not only do I have to ring them all individually because the corperate assholes won't allow anyone but managers to use the fucking QUANTITY key on the cash registers, I then have to go through umpteen thousand bags wrapping each one of the shit heads and thrust them gently into yet another sack.

By the time I'm done with that person a line has built up of people that have all their kids with them and normally speak very little english. The line is also peppered with very irritated english speakers who are buying maybe two things and would love to get the fuck out of the store.

Right after glass santa container lady comes the sap that does their grocery shopping at our horrid little store, who then glares at me for taking to long with the person infront of them. Then they have the audacity to start complaining because I ran out of room on the end of my short little counter to put their bagged groceries causing me to stack them on the ground. Simply because that person's shopping cart is still full of shit to be rung up and bagged. Once the bagging and ringing race has come to a close comes the part where they bitch about how much everything costs, right a check that has to be scanned a couple of times before it will go through...or they use payment method number two: Going through invalid credit card after another until one works or they have to cancel the entire transaction witch requires a manager.

Last we get to the people that buy $3.87 worth of shit and pay with a $100 bill that whipes out almost all the change in my drawer.

Round number fifty six of "Jesus Loves Me" begins and this time is accompanied by wailing kids.

...And there's still five hours to go before I'm off work.

--Jami

--Jami Yeah, that's gonna sting in the morning.