Reading r_pendragon's journal

"Blood is thicker than water."

This has to be one of my least favorite clichés– my irritation with it zooms to the forefront in particular during the holiday season.

I do not like my family nearly as well as my friends. I would even be so harsh as to say that, in general, I love my friends more.

There are specific family members I could never do without. My mother is one of my best friends. One of my uncles, a retured USAF colonel (or whatever they're called; I'm not militarily well-versed) is articulate, well-read, opinionated, and interesting. I get along quite well with one of my older brothers– he and I went to Vegas together last month.

But for the most part, I find family infuriating. My aunt's Christmas letter read like a self-congratulation: "And then your uncle and I filled in the place where the pool used to be and started landscaping. And then we went on a cruise to Alaska. And then–" Oh, she's so wonderful, blah, blah, blah. Pat yourself on the back once more, Aunt Sharon.

Her type of Christmas letter is the rule rather than the exception in my family. Everyone competing to tell each other how fabulous they are, everyone secretly hoping that they'll be the most fabulous of all.

They're not bad people, but I find them incredibly materialistic, snobbish, and shallow. Even their kindnesses read like bragging: "Oh, we volunteer with underprivileged children." "Well, we teach ESL lessons to immigrants."

Wow. You're all just such good, perfect people. How lucky I am that you're my family.[/sarcasm]

My friends, on the other hand, actually are fabulous. They're the kind of people I want to spend the holidays with, because there's no pressure, no competition, no ugliness– we just have fun.

I find it interesting (and irritating?) that, if I married one of my male best friends, he would suddenly count as my family, and it would be fine to prefer him over all others during the holidays. But since he (and all the others) are "merely" good friends, they theoretically shouldn't matter as much.

I spent Christmas with the family but I'll be ringing in the New Year with five of my best friends from college. (Since only one of them was able to visit me in Japan, it's been a year since I've seen the other four).

I'm so excited... which is why I <3 New Year's.

My stepdad isn't mean, he's just adjusting. -Death to Smoochy

This post was edited by r_pendragon on Dec 28, 2004.

They're not bad people, but I find them incredibly materialistic, snobbish, and shallow. Even their kindnesses read like bragging: "Oh, we volunteer with underprivileged children." "Well, we teach ESL lessons to immigrants."

Ha, ha... *snorts*

Have you ever read any of David Sedaris' stuff? You know the cynically witty brother of Amy Sedaris, the mastermind behind the show Strangers With Candy? Her brother is an exceptionally gifted and smart-ass writer extraordinaire, in his own write[/taking spelling liberties].

Witness his book of two years ago: Holidays on Ice. And the most pertinent stories of relevancy to your situational family comedy - Dinah, the Christmas Whore(now, now...not for the reasons you might think - there is more to the story), and Christmas Means Giving. Especially, the latter.

Laugh your butt off. His spoofs of 'holiday giving' and getting, are really quite amusing. I think I would have liked his family. };->

I know some of what you mean, but it stems more from Bible Belt religiosity which I was privy to in my early days, as various 'conversational gifts'[/sarcasm] were bestowed upon me by my illustrious, godlike relatives.

I am not really speaking of my father, here... as even though he seems to be under some spell currently, he is really not a pretentious man, nor is he much of a proselytizer or braggart.

His sister, however, used to expound on the duty of a woman to go out and proliferate- as in: "The Bible says: 'Go forth and multiply!'" Eeeeeew![/cleans up vomit] And I've listened to religious grandiosity at its worst from relatives in the South; although, like Magnifico, I too love my grits, fried chicken, corn bread, buttermilk biscuits, and fried green tomatoes!

GRITS = Girls Raised In The South

The South is a place where people have mastered the ability to be condescending while seeming to be polite; a variation on the theme of condescension. As in: "She's so at a loss for words(trans. = inarticulate), bless her little pea-pickin' heart!" And the sort of people who tell you how much they love you, then after you leave - turn to their friends and say, "God! I wish I could drive a nail right through her forehead!" And yet the Southern Hospitality table full of food is out and it is tasty. It's so hard to bite the hand that feeds you and fills your stomach. Which is a lot different from relatives that don't give you shit but 'braggy Christmas letters'.

People can be so self-righteous about their 'giving' exploits.

I think religion and charity should be indulged in quietly. ;P

If mountain goats like living at high elevations, why do none live in high rise apartment buildings?