Reading betty's journal

As soon as I take a step out of the back room into the store, a customer asks me where to find a particular children's book. As I am directing her towards the section that she needs, I am scanning the bindings of the neatly arranged books for the title that she is looking for. I start to see a bright white spot in the center of my vision and am having problems reading. In spite of the bright spot, the book is found and I continue on my way to the front of the store.
The White spot is still there, a small annoyance. It is the same type of spot you get when you stare into a bright light, or at the sun, but I didn't do anything like that. Interesting, this odd spot in my vision.
I stand behind the register and say," I can help who is next," to the growing line of customers in front of me. Michelle is at the register next to me, cutting down the line of encroaching consumers with the quick-fire report of her fingers on the 10-key.
As the customer in front of me is waiting for me to tell her the total of her purchase, the white spot in my vision grows slightly. The computer screen in front of me is almost unreadable, but I can see the total. $41.43 .
"$43.41 is your total." But wait, that's not right. Slip of the tongue, haha. "$41.43. I'm sorry."
The lady hands her credit card to me, and I say,"May I see picture ID please?"
I look at her credit card and realize that I can't read it. The white light has gotten so large that the credit card is obscured. I accept her license and give it a cursory look, hand it back to the lady, run the card, bag the books, and turn to Michelle as the customer walks away.
"Michelle, I think I have to go sit down." I walk to the rear of the store, ignoring the customers who are trying to get my attention. I enter the back room and then the office where my boss is receiving cases of merchandise.
"Neil, I think something is wrong with me." I say.
"What's going on, Betty?"
I look at a can of soup that is sitting on the table in front of me. I know the can says 'Soup At Hand', but all I can see is 'So Hat Ha', like my vision is folded,and skewed. I look at the soup can trying to get it to come into focus and I am struck with the realization that I don't understand what the letters mean.
"Something is wrong with my eyes. I can't see. I can't read." Panic is creeping up the back of my throat "Something is wrong with my brain" Is what I really meant, but I couldn't say that because words can lead to reality.
Oh shit , something is wrong with my brain.
I call a friend to pick me up from work and take me to the emergency room. By the time I get there, I no longer remember my birthday, what type of car I drive, my Uncle's name, etc. I know my boyfriend's name, but it means nothing to me. My own name doesn't sound familiar. My vision is almost totally gone.
----I never understood the difference between loss of vision and blindness. I lost my vision for 3 days a long time ago in a freak mascara incident. My eyes were swollen shut and I could only see black for 3 straight days. This time, my vision was gone. It was nonexistant. There is no black. There is no white. There is nothing. I was blind.
An hour later I started recovering my memory, and my vision. The ER doctor gives me the diagnosis of a Migrane and hands me a paper describing what to do in case of a headache. A headache. A fucking HEADACHE???? I want to grip delicate pieces of his anatomy in my palm and squeeze until his eyes roll into the back of his head and he is crying on the floor of the sterile room, curled in a ball at my feet.
I tell him Thank you.
My boss won't let me come back to work until I have a release from a doctor. I can't get an appointment anytime soon because I have no insurance. I still don't know what happened to me or if it is going to happen again.
So, that was my weekend. How was everyone else's?

I am just me, searching for simplicity.........and a good hair stylist

My sympathies! It is indeed scary what you went through, and I am glad that you are back to normal. Please try to search on the net if you could find anything for the symptoms that you had. I know it's hard and frustrating to not know what's wrong and I wish you all the best in your quest for answers.

I too have a problem which I have been having since I was 10 yrs. old, and till now after multiple CAT scans and MRI scans and dozens of tests all around the world, the doctors still have no idea about what might be going wrong with me, and believe me, its frustrating. I get dizzy spells every 3 to 4 months, and I am totally bed-ridden, vomiting for the 1st day every 10 minutes, and then I can't even get up from bed for the next 2 to 3 days. It used to happen very regularly when I was in India, and in South Africa every 3 months. Ever since I came to the US, it started happening every 4 months. Now, I haven't gotten sick for the last 7 months, not sure when its going to strike next.

Hope you get your answers, and get well soon. Take rest, and don't take any tensions, just try to have fun. God bless you.

Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye opener.

Ajpparently it was a migraine. Hmmmm. Scary stuff, i tell you. doc says there is no way to test if it is going to be a regular occurance. It is hard to believe that people go through this regularly. If it happens again at least I won't be so terrified that I am having a stroke or that I have a tumor. But the term "just a migraine" doesn't seem to suffice.
Good luck with your problems, too.

I am just me, searching for simplicity.........and a good hair stylist