Reading hells_angel's journal

I know its been a while since I wrote an entry I been busy and mildly depressed. I still live at home and I know for a fact that no one in my family wants me there. I have no life at home. if it was up to me I'd sleep all day. I know no one at home would notice. I have no one to talk to and thats just how my life is. I think my one friend is mad at me cuz I told him I was jealous of my mom.

Alright he's the deal. He kept on flirting with my mom who is like old enough to be his mom. And yes I was jealous and yes I gave him adittude about it when he asked. But damn I didn't want to see him and her like that. It was gross.

I know I didn't handle it the best way that I could have but I've been sleep deprived lately and trying to find the strength to just runaway from it all.

It's just hard for me to tell anyone how I feel cuz when I do no one takes me seriously. I broke down and cried last night telling my mom that I really don't feel like I belong at home and that I know they don't want me their. They've said so a few times already when they were mad at me. But still they say that I shouldn't worry bout it cuz they were upset and they didn't mean it. But I know that when you're mad the truth comes out.

And sometimes I just feel like I should just kill myself and get it over with cuz it won't make a damn bit of difference to anyone if I am dead or alive. Cuz I feel like I'm already dead at home. I'm 20 years old and I get treated like I'm 10. I have to tell them where I'm going and when I'll be back and I'm stuck doing the dishes, laundry, cooking and watch them all have lives.

Maybe I'm being mellodramitic here but I just feel like I'm in hell and everyone is watching over me with a magnifying glass telling me to do this and don't do that. But anyways I gotta go back to no where and hurry there.

Take your time don't live to fast troubles will come and they will pass