Reading What Sucks

Mar 01, 2005 12:12 # 33667

United_Man * posts about...

!!!!!!! Life Sucks Sewer Rats !!!!!!!!!!

84% | 10

Let me introduce a lively poem, which sets the proper mood.

Life - (based on a theme by Hep/Jhayden)
Life sucks
Sewer rats.
Big ones,
Wet ones,
Lithe ones,
Gaudy ones.
Life sucks
Sewer rats...

This poem brings up an important notion, and one of the major foundations of my philosophy: sewer rats. What exactly are sewer rats? What is their cosmic significance? And, why does life choose to suck them?
As many of you may already know, the concept of the sewer rat having some cosmic significance was first introduced by one of the great thinkers (and co-publishers) of our time: Hepzibah, AKA: Julia Hayden. Upon hearing her thoughts and beliefs about the relationship between life and sewer rats, I adopted them as part of my own philosophy.
I'm sure many of you are asking, "What exactly IS a sewer rat?" If you aren't asking that, please do so now, before continuing. Well, a sewer rat, quite simply, is a disgustingly dirty rodent who inhabits basins of human waste. If you think about it, this is actually a very deep and meaningful metaphor for us. That's right, US; human beings. "How so?" you may ask. "That's obvious, you moron," I might answer. We are nothing more than disgustingly dirty rodents, ourselves, who are forced to live on this chunk of rock we call the Earth. In this case, it isn't WHERE we live (the Earth) which is represented by the metaphorical human waste, but rather the act of LIVING, itself. Essentialy, life is one big pile of shit. So, to say that "Life sucks sewer rats" is really a very complex and meaningful phrase. It is sort of a multiple-layered metaphor, which would take far more than this one book to examine in complete detail. Suffice it to say that the general gist of what is being said is that life is not a very fun experience...

What do you think?

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Ceteris Paribus

Mar 02, 2005 03:36 # 33688

Bunk *** has all the information you need...

Ah, the abstract

?% | 2

Suffice it to say that the general gist of what is being said is that life is not a very fun experience...

Did you enjoy writing that post? I know I enjoyed reading it.

But I can't find no place or nothin', where thrills are cheap, and love is divine

Mar 03, 2005 17:22 # 33741

frmguess *** throws in her two cents...

Re: Ah, the abstract

45% | 3

Life is difficult, life is pain, life is suffering. Yes life sucks over all, but it makes the few beautiful moments in life that much sweeter.

Off to a more meaningful place...

Mar 04, 2005 05:46 # 33792

BigStrongGeek *** replies...

What about those who's suckiness sucks harder than average?

79% | 5

Yes, I agree. life sucks. But then I sit back and think about people or things that suck more than me. And I feel better. Some of those people and things are:

CSI Man that show sucks. And it sucks even harder that so many mouth breathers out there like it. I'm sorry, I guess I must have read a book or paid attention in the past or something, because I have had enough information on how to kill people fed to me by the media that I don't need it slowed down, given cool computer graphics and explained in small words to me.

Some poor dude in Ethiopia (or one of the many other destitue countries) It would suck to not have food or a place to live. In any 1'st world( of wich there are few) our lifestyle far exceeds any in the history of mankind. Government and society are far more aware of the concept of human rights. We have running water, electricity, personal bathrooms. Pretty sweet deal really. Sucks ot be poor.

John Wayne Man, sucked to be him. Died of cancer that he probabally got from shooting a film in an area that was previously used for A-Bomb testing. How much would that suck.

George W. Did you know that he (and anyone who calls themsleves Christian Fundamentalists) truly believs that the world is coming to an end soon. But the deal is that as long as the Jewish people are in Isreal(thier "promised land") at the time of armageddon, they would curry favor with god and buy themselves a one way ticket to heaven. No matter what the cost while alive. It would suck to be that dangerously stupid.

That fat guy that came up with the idea for the Back Street Boys He sucks. What he did to the world sucks even harder.

The guy who uses the spike gun on cow's heads in the slaughterhouse Day in day out. Killing. the smell. the blood. the look on thier faces as they are about to.....as they.....when they are.......dead. That would just suck.

A single mom working at McDonalds Bad enough you have to work a sucky job to feed your child. You also recently found out your ex left you with a scathing case of herpes.

Bob Saget .....

But you know who does not suck? Noam Chomsky. He rules. He is good at pointing out how much American Politicians suck (Not gonna say America sucks cus I am sure 48% of you don't).

So yeah. We are shitting where we eat. The end is probabally near for at least our current way of living. But feelin crappy about it aint gonna change it. So I prefer to be the guy riding the bomb, waving his cowboy hat in the air.

I found a plastic skull ring in the back room at work the other day. It was cool.


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