Reading hells_angel's journal

It's starting over again. You would think that if you were in jail for 9 months ok techinically a year if you add the three months he was in jail while I was a junior in high school that it would be enough for you to quit drinking altogether and never look or touch it ever again. My step dad comes home every night from work and grabs a beer out of the fridge then he grabs another one. I'm scared to talk to him about it because of how he handles things when I talk to him about his drinkig problem. I used to get slapped, pushed, and hit depending on his mood. I sometimes wish his probation officer would come up and see the beer in the fridge and do something about it. But his probation officer is the laziest jack a$$ I ever met. His p. o. only did something when I got kicked out of the house when I was 18 and still in high school. Lucky for me it didn't last my entire senior year. It lasted for a week or so. But still that ain't the point. His p.o. needs to keep on him and keep him in line. I just hope when i turn 21 I don't do the same stuff he does now. I mean yes I drink once in a very great while. Maybe twice every six months or so and even then I only drink maybe 2 at the most. But then I end up kicking myself in the ass for doing it.

It just seems like everytime he or some one I know messes up I end up beating myself up about it and saying maybe if I would have done something different maybe they wouldn't do what they are doing now.

Here I am at 20 years old still living like I was when I was in high school. Scared to say something and scared when I lose my cool and most of all still scared of myself. I still try to get by and say that someday I will get away from here and move on and never come back.

Take your time don't live to fast troubles will come and they will pass