Reading Poetry

If I was here would you know
If you were here I would know

Can you feel what I feel
I can feel what you feel

I spent my time,
used my body,
used my intelligence,
and broke my heart.

You enjoyed my time,
used my body,
make fun of my intelligence,
and broke my heart.

I am here but you can not feel me
I feel you, please leave me.

Off to a more meaningful place...

Of course, my dear darling,
I have known you were here

Every moment you play and prance
about, is delicate, soft

And plainly clear, to me
and others as well.

Or maybe, tis not so...
they are blind and see not

What is in front of their very eyes.

________________________________________________________________

I did not use your body, I did not use your heart. You used mine. And you TrIED to break me... but you shall not... and you need to log off your little cheat site at the university, before somebody comes looking for you. I DO know you are here, and you promised that after everything was taken care of, you would leave... instead you log on here as this, as others, you flood the poetry forum with crap and filth and lies, as many other users, and then try to tell people that what I have written is lies.

You are abominable, you are fat, you are ugly, you look like Mr. Potato Head, and if you come looking for me to kill me, you'd better make it look like suicide, because even though the police won't help me yet, everyone who is my friend or acquaintance that I can see knows who the fuck you are, and they will look to you first if my body is found.

You feel me here? I've BEEN here all along... YOU came here, you got what you asked for...and still you hover. You hover with your many identitites, trying to instill fear... well the fear is gone.. the anger is raging. And I am all over the place with my emotions, like any good abuse victim would be...

What you have done in retaliation to me is nothing short of heinous. Purchasing my domain name? Setting up a website of nothing but black abyss with the title: Cleansing? That can only be seen on my computer? Banking on, and hoping that I will cower in fear, and not tell anyone what you have done? That I won't get witnesses? May you rot in eternal Hell for that, if such a place exists.

And what does Cleansing mean? Ethnic cleansing? Because my father's family was poor and likely gypsies? Because my mother was Danish, and the whole Danish police force got sent to the ovens like the poor Jewish nation? And all Danes should be cleansed? Is that it? Or should little girls who don't do your bidding, and say: "Yes, Master", be cleansed?

Who is self-righteous here? YOU. You want to cleanse me... cleanse me? Cleanse me of you, would be more like it.

Now go cry to your mama who pays YOUR bills, because you are EXACTLY like me... you . can't . make . it . on . your . own...

And if no one here believes in magic you'd best start believin' because this person has cast a spell over so many people. So many.

All these funky taglines... you guys should have ALL been paying attention. Shame on you for sitting back in the corner telling me to do it myself. There is safety in numbers... you all know that. Tell me one day to ignore this stuff, and to let it go, and the next... tell me to stop whining, because my inaction has caused this mess...

And yet, unbenounced to you, I have had others telling me to leave it be. So, I guess, I shall take the advice to fight back.

It's not what I want. I am not a hypocrite about forgiveness. I daily, weekly try to forgive this person, and they do stuff like this poem above is representative of, and project it all back onto me... when they are the one's who have been asking questions of people I trusted about where I was, what I was doing... all these years!... the ones who have pitched a fit because they weren't allowed to come into my place of employment.

And still, I have to thank you, because now I know for sure that I have no true friends on the NAO. None. They have all abandoned me. You got your wish, you fat ugly fuck.

And you've been wishing for it for a long, long time.

Every day I try to wake up and find a place of peace to forgive you, and not only are you still here online, but you worm your way into my soul... you worm your way into my computer. You hack it so that nothing is secure. You call my phone, when I never gave you my number.

You try to interest me in coming to your website, and when I don't come... you cry like little 'BABy HUey' and come looking for me to make me pay for not coming back into the fold.

And again, as for all of you, with your contradictory advice... Apparently I do have a few good friends left in St. Louis who WILL give me more than just advice taken off of Cop shows on TV.

God help you all when something like this happens to you.

My mind is made up...not like my bed, which is a mess.

This post was edited by rosyxxx on Mar 15, 2005.

Remember who your enemies are. Maybe, perhaps, quite possibly, you have made so many enemies because everyone that is not fucking perfect gets the burn. I do one wrong thing and you fucking hate me? Ha...

That's fine with me. Caring for you is fucking hell. Always in this mess, dealing with this psycho with you, wishing for a better life with you, I had a lot of love for you and just as much out of desperation and angst, I made a bad decision. So, like you burned me, I burn you. Fuck you. Thanks for giving me a reason to stop caring about you, because I can't stand hopeless situations. Ones where you are not in control, I spent my entire adolescence in one...

I don't need this.

I should be ashamed of myself.

This post was edited by Aynjell on Mar 15, 2005.

I don't hate you Aynjell, but you basically told me to go to Hell... and I don't give everyone the burn. I don't.

Please stop hurting me, I know I told you to go fuck yourself, but you abandoned me Aynjell when I needed you most. And you aren't the only one. How can you do this? Are you siding with him? I don't think you are...

Please tell me that you aren't. I do care about you, and you I am sorry for telling to go fuck yourself, but this bastard who is stalking.... I mean everything I have said. Does it take this for you guys to believe me?

My mind is made up...not like my bed, which is a mess.

I always have beleived you. But you must understand, you are asking for practical advice fron a man who lives by his own standards. All I want for my freinds, is for them to be happy. They don't need to live in a mansion, or be stalker free. But well...

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

That's the prayer you need to be saying...

That sums it up. Do what you can, or forget it. If this fuck is beyond your control, forget about him. Just, please, be happy. :'[

I should be ashamed of myself.

This post was edited by Aynjell on Mar 15, 2005.

Some small hints: a whois search returns this - the person is hiding behind a service provider called Domains By Proxy. They're stating in their Law Agreement, that they will NOT protect your privacy, if you do things like this:

* Transmit spam, viruses or harmful computer programs;
* Violate the law or infringe a third party’s trademark or copyright;
* Engage in morally objectionable activities, including but not limited to those which are child pornographic, defamatory, abusive, harassing, obscene, racist, or otherwise objectionable.

Suggestion for you: give yer bloody 'puter a total turn-over, a complete check for trojan horses and viruses, afterwards let install Thunderbird, EnigMail-extension and GnuPG for secure and safe (even strong encrypted) e-mail-communication, put up a firewall (AFAIK Zone Alarm is still quite good at this) and some good anti-virus tool like Bitdefender Professional or its Plus version, which is apparently a integrated solution of both an anti-virus/spam protection and a firewall.

cu, w0lf.

beards are cool. every villain has one!

I thought that this site was for intellectual gathering, where smart/sane people could kick back and enjoy meaningful conversation. The poem I wrote was not about you rosyxxx, it was about myself and a struggle I once had. The Difference Between You and I, You being the person I once was, and I being who I am now. The front page spouts the line “Far from the maddening crowds”, if this is true, why is the second highest rated person on this site going off on people for writing a poem that they think is about there self. This is exactly what I was trying to get away from when I came to the NAO; I was trying to get away from the superficial drama in day to day life encounters. I don’t need this crap.

Off to a more meaningful place...

I I to that. She seems to off lost it. She went off on me as well for reasons Im not sure. Because i wrote poetry?

She knows she can also block us as users is she feels the way she does, right? Ohh well, won't hinder my posting.

Now are ye undeceived! Welcome, again, my children, to the communion of your race!

This post was edited by Hardballkid on Mar 23, 2005.

i wrote poetry

Speaking of poetry. It's been ages since I wrote my last piece. What interests you HardballKid? Who is your favorite poet? I hold a special place in my heart for Emily Dickinson.

Zen is another poet here. Perhaps you should look back through our old posts and check out what we've done. =)

Hey you forgot about me. I write poetry. Or do you love Zen mor than me? You're a whore...

I should be ashamed of myself.