Reading harold_maude's journal

Well, saturday is my last day at work. I don't know if the manager fully knows that or not.
But I told him I would stay until another person was found for the possition.

It happened very quickly. He asked me if I would be interested in another possition and it took me about 3 seconds to know the answer was no.

What ever I needed to do there is done. I remember a few months ago I got two job offers from a very large corporation and declined them both.
I talked with both the assistant mangager and the manager and both of them had different views on the subject.
The managers being if it's more money and will help your career, than go for it.
I told him at the time that it didn't always have to do with money.

I realized what I've known for so long. That when I end up in a place it's for as long as I need to be there.
What ever it is that is required of me in the place is more important than anything.
With a job the money is so far down the list of important things.

Which when I thought about it all over the last few days made me realize how much my life is just a series of appointments.
There is something to do there, and then when it's done, I have to leave it.

It's usually been very easy to leave because it becomes so uncomfortable, and keeping on gets exausting.

I will miss a few things and alot of people. But I'm not going to the moon, and there is an invention called the telephone.

I seriously doubt that any relationship I had with anyone will survive unless there is purpose in it.

When I leave somewhere I don't look back and wish it was still a part of my life.
To me that would be like saving the bits of oatmeal stuck to a bowl for months after breakfast.
Thoes bits are no longer something that I feel complelled to hang on to.

Any relationship that started in a work place for the most part fades away with time.
So far there has only been one person that I've worked with in this state that there is anything left of now.

So it goes. I have put applications in different places. But the place I'm suppose to be will show up.
And I will stay there until everything about it shuts down.
I don't get to stay in a job for years and years.

It's a very tribal view.
In many primative tribes everyone has a function, a place and what they do helps the whole tribe.
Even the contary ones, as they are refered to by the indians here in this country.

Everything goes with a certian flow and everyone lives in that flow and there is no confusion, just a rythem and pattern that continues.
It's the way it should be with each life. To know your purpose and live by the mandates of that perpose makes your place in this world the reason why you do and go tord certian things.

Everything else is just extra things.
Even money.

If as my sister claims of me that I am neuotic, then there has been purpose in that too.

My life is not ment to be static. I don't get to know what working at the same place for years and years is like.
And I don't get to have many people stay in my life for my whole life.

Being aware that after saturday everything is done has done several things: it's made it so I can sleep again.
I wake up in a peaceful state.
And I am happy.

I also know that the next place I'm going to end up at will have something very specific there that I need to do.
And unless something has changed about the flow of my life, it too will be temporary, even if it lasts for a year or more.

When I talk to the person who is going to hier me, they will understand.
And it will be ok.

And having made note of all of that I'm off to bed so I can get some sleep.

Nite all. Sleep well.

It only looks that way because your standing on your head.