Reading majic's journal

March 18th has finally come to pass and I have joined the ranks of normal everyday civilians again. I completed 8 years 8 months and 10 days in the life of a US Army Paratrooper. I received another Army Commendation medal today for my service in the 2nd Brigade 325th Airborne Infantry Regiment of the 82nd Airborne Division. So my stats to date include 3 Army Commendation medals, 3 Army Achievement medals, 2 good conduct medals, Parachutist badge (25 jumps) and Driver badge, Army service ribbon, Global war on Terrorism service ribbon, Korea defense service ribbon and National defense service ribbon and the rank of Sergeant.

I had alot of good times and the Army was good to me, I also took alot of things for granted and also looked negatively on alot of other things. All in all it was a positive experience that I was not completely mature enough to fully comprehend. I suppose I'm okay with saying that, There are still so many things in this world that I am just not mature enough to understand (even at being 30 years old). Also there remains a big question in my life, That question is what am I going to do now? Where will my new road take me and how will it shape me to be the person that I'd ultimately want to be. I'd like to believe that everything happens for a reason and I'd also like to believe that the situation I'm in right now is exactly the situation I'm supposed to be in to help set me up for whatever is going to happen in my life. Over the last 6 months I've been growing more spiritually, I'm starting to gain a better understanding of my faith but my steps are still baby steps and I have so far to go. I am extremely naive in the words of the Bible and sometimes feel overwhelmed by the people around me expressing their belief openly and confidently. I get burdened down with the fast pace of life and my mind gets foggy sometimes, I have good days and I have bad days. I've professed my belief in a higher being and I've been baptized and I have asked for salvation and I'm an active member of a church. I'm a sinner and I have a foul mouth! I have a hard time coming to grips with how my mind gets distracted and foggy and my thoughts slip and I start questioning things that I should know better than to question. I want to be good in my faith but being bad is so much easier! I suppose this is one of those tests laid out before you to see how you will come to grips with it. So far I've failed this test, well let's just say I haven't done all that I could have been doing to walk inline with the faith I professed to have. ... Oh boy I'm rambling now...

So what am I feeling now? Well, I must say that I'm extremely excited to have my life back and am ready to seize this opportunity and new found freedom! There are a million and one things racing through my head right now! I want to do them all in the next 30 minutes, okay??? Haha.